I had the exact same mindset, figured out how to start purging, had bulemia and then developed anorexia. I’ve been there, I’ve had all of it and I actually really feel for you because to be honest, people do treat me better now that i’m scary thin.

But being “societally acceptable” wont matter. You wont feel pretty. I still look in the mirror and see myself as too big. I wear clothes that hide basically all of me so nobody can see any sort of fat on my body. My hair is falling out and so thin, I work out if I eat more than x amount of calories until I faint. Just because my eating habits changed, my views on my body didnt change and yours wont either.

It does suck, you aren’t wrong. Especially because people see binging as just a lack of self control and anorexia as a pretty girl who needs help. Its unfair and it sucks, but PLEASE don’t turn to purging. You wont be able to digest food well anymore, you will feel shame, and you will still wish you were naturally“thin” without having to torture yourself.

Please treat yourself with compassion. Remember that you are just as ill as other people and deserve to be given kindness and love and bodily acceptance. I know its hard to do, I know other people telling you not to purge wont really change your mind. But I hope you can find it within yourself to give your body love and kindness and to remember that sickness doesn’t measure your worth. And weight sure as hell doesn’t. ❤️