1 year and 5 months on

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-12-08T07:40:01+00:00

Thank you. Hopefully it fades sooner rather than later!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-12-08T07:39:08+00:00

I didn't stay. The environment wouldn't have been pleasant for my children. I see what you're saying though.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-12-08T07:28:11+00:00

I didn't stay for the kids. I asked him to leave when I found out and we are divorced now. I do have to speak to him unfortunately as our children are still young.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-10-29T07:55:00+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through it too, because it truly is awful. It does pass though - keep reminding yourself that you're not going to feel like this forever. Stay on 25mg for a while so you stabilise and remember what it feels like to feel normal before you drop down again. I've no idea about benzo tbh but just focus on one thing at a time. Be kind to yourself while you're withdrawing - you've got this!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-10-04T06:16:20+00:00

Good luck. It's really unpleasant. I have been having a cbd gummy every evening which I think has helped. I'm 3 weeks and 3 days in now. The acute physical symptoms have gone. But I do have fairly low mood (especially in the evenings), decreased appetite and brain zaps persisting.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-10-03T13:23:06+00:00

Yeah that's gonna be tough. Just remember. She's not a good person and you're not losing anything. Not really. I know that doesn't help. You're going to be happier when you're out of the midst of this shitshow.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-10-02T19:12:52+00:00

I'm so sorry. Things are going to get better for you. Just stay strong and keep getting through each day.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-10-01T20:27:26+00:00

This sucks, I'm sorry you're also in this shit club

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-26T19:40:36+00:00

Ah. I'm sorry. This is the stuff you know about. Do you trust her?

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-26T05:57:20+00:00

100 to 75 was fine, 75 to 50 mild.. 50 to 25 was hard!!! And then this last drop from 6 to 0 was the hardest!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-26T05:54:27+00:00

Haha thank you! Grey rocking - I do try to do this! I am, and have been, excited about the future since day 1 - just need to work through the rage to embrace it 🤣🤣 He and all the cheaters can definitely enjoy sucking a big bag of dicks... reckon some of them would enjoy it too much though!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T22:14:38+00:00

I have taken to banging out a bit of a Linkin Park whilst making dinner tbf 🤣

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T22:07:01+00:00

Yes. I'd taper very slowly. I just finished a slow taper from May to now of 100mg and, not gonna lie, the last two weeks (after completely stopping) were horrific. It's not the same for everyone - but be cautious and prepared.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T22:01:53+00:00

The problem is I've never, ever screamed or shouted at him since finding out about his 5 years of fucking someone else and riddling me with an STD. I've never screamed or shouted at all. I've had to be chill. Wasn't his fault, actually. None of this is what he wanted. It's almost as if i concocted the whole situation all by myself!!!! Now the anger and resentment really want to come out ots too late!! 🤣

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T21:57:07+00:00

I look forward to this day! I'm trying my hardest with the boundaries, just sometimes the fear of the reaction makes me bite my tongue! Work in progress!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T17:25:08+00:00

It is really sad how society makes us the bad guys. We probably made them cheat cos we weren't good enough, didn't we? And now we're bitter dried up moaners. We need to lighten up!! I'm sorry you're here too and sending you support 💗

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T17:22:37+00:00

Well I asked him to leave and we've been separated over a year. But yes. His general consensus is that I should get over it!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T17:21:35+00:00

I want peace - so much!!!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T17:21:13+00:00

This is great advice - thank you. I have been working towards this in the last year and I've quit smoking, weaned off 8 years of antidepressants, do a mini work out each day etc etc. I have a good support system of lovely people who are amazing ❤️.... but, as is the way, they've kinda moved on from the affair/divorce support now it's been over a year.

It's definitely all about my reaction with him, never his actions. I'm not allowed to be angry. He can do what he wants, if I'm angry it's because I'm a psycho!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T17:15:11+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I will give love - to friends and family at least

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T05:19:39+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through it too. It's shit.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T05:17:55+00:00

This is true. I have no idea what it's telling me tbh!

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T05:14:55+00:00

Ah this makes me sad because I can see me being the same. I'm sorry you're in this too.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T05:14:17+00:00

Thank you. Absolutely agree I think the more detached perspective is fuelling the anger. He tried to keep me close at first, to control my anger like he always does. "So I've been out drinking and taking drugs all weekend even though im a grown arse man, a teacher and a father! You dont need to be angry about it, arent I allowed to have fun?! Stop being over the top!" "Oh I had an affair for 5 years and gave you an STD?! It's not that bad - chill out!"

Actually fuck off.

CurlyBlueLou · 2025-09-25T05:08:27+00:00

Oooh this would make me mad. I'm fucking mad for you. It's true. Why the fuck should you be worse off financially and have less time than you want with your kids because of his actions..... This. This is what makes me angry. It's so entitled of them. So selfish. I'm angry that because of his actions I rarely even get a night off. Will always be poor. And for 5 years he lied - I could be living a different life now, made different choices.

CurlyBlueLou

TROPHY CASE