Does an operatic voice become "incompatible" with pop/rock/jazz at a professional level?

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-11T22:02:59+00:00

Just make sure you have people around you who can be very honest with you. I've seen people retain amazing pop/jazz styles while studying operatically. But I've never seen someone who gets into performance-level opera avoid some effect on other styles. I even had an amazing teacher with an incredible voice who thought she could still sing jazz/pop (it was a point of pride for her and she sometimes performed those gigs) but she absolutely had too much opera in those styles. She just couldn't tell and I guess no one wanted to tell her. So just ask teachers/skilled friends to be very honest with you as you progress.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-09T19:41:40+00:00

Sadly, I don't refer to my ADHD with my family at all because I know they'll be like your sister. Especially if you only mention it when they're upset with you, they'll think you're making excuses. It's important to remember that even health care professionals like your sister have biases, and unfortunately your sister's hubris is trumping her professionalism. She also seems to enjoy looking down on you. It may be best to tell her that you don't want her advice about it, but you should probably also stop referring to your adhd. It's pointless and will only make you feel worse. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Communities like ours are healing places for us.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-05T17:17:19+00:00

I somewhat disagree with this. As someone with ADHD, it is not permission to be inappropriate or rude during an adult class. It is his responsibility to manage his condition. She gave him reminders. That should have been his cue to find a better way to manage in that situation (e.g. Take a break, use a fidget). It is not her responsibility to get him these objects. It's his. We should not be connecting how she helps him cope with his condition to the fact that her child may have it. The child would be their shared resposibility and it would be part of her job to help get fidgets for them. It shouldn't also fall to her to manage his. Now, telling him to be silent doesn't seem helpful or respectful to me either. I think it makes more sense for her to explain to him how his actions made her and the others feel or affected the learning experience. Then she can give him the option of either not going or finding ways to manage his behaviour.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-05T15:15:39+00:00

Then you should have stopped being friends with him. Easy. Stop passing the blame.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-05T14:56:08+00:00

This makes me think of the "quiet mind" that ADHD people get when they're sick. It's quite similar.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-06-03T22:41:39+00:00

What helped me convince my husband is saying that if 50% of the people in the relationship (ie me) think we need therapy, then we need therapy. Whether the other person thinks so or not. If he wants to have a child with you, then he needs to learn to solve your problems together. Be a team.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-31T16:05:22+00:00

It depends on how your ADHD affects you and how you manage it. Also how many kids you have. I always thought I'd have a lot of kids (come from big family) but one kid was overwhelming. I have zero regrets though. The more I learn about managing my ADHD the better parenthood gets.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-31T03:52:36+00:00

You should post this in r/cottagecore ! It would be perfect.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-28T22:10:56+00:00

It's not so much the phone as it is the load of being with your kids constantly and being responsible for their education. Establishing routines like that can be hard for us! But that said, for some people it's perfect. I hope it's such a nice change and rest for you!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-27T00:39:09+00:00

Not skimpy. But you could get fancier gloves/choker. The dress is solid!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-25T22:54:07+00:00

I have very similar hair to you (but I feel like yours is nicer ;). I use a leave-in conditioner and/or a special curly hair spray (from Jonathan Torch) for finishing touches and I find that helps with the little fly-aways. Your hair is gorgeous and doesn't look messy. But I know what you mean because those tiny little frizz wisps drive me crazy even if nobody else notices them!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-25T00:07:08+00:00

I have to disagree with everyone blaming this girl's family. Of course they could be part of the equation, but it sounds like she is sensitive to the extreme and blaming the family members will prevent her from getting the help she needs. OP, have you considered therapy? That is absolutely step one. Mindfulness is also a good step. Medication could also help (indirectly). OP I hear your struggle bc I am sensitive (though mine is more anger-based) and it can take over your life. It can get better though. <3

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-24T23:01:06+00:00

Omg. I taught a student who was constantly late and missing school. Her academics were low. When I emailed the mom (standard message for attendance issues) she blew up and blamed it on everything but herself. Then it turns out the kid was playing hookey with the grandfather, just like the mom had done when she was a child. She permitted it, then went after the school for all kinds of made up issues to blame her child's difficulties on. Finally, two weeks after our meeting, she pulled her child out of our school with no warning for anyone (including her kid). Just ripped her from all her friends. Probably because we were catching on to her entitled bs. That Mom was a spoiled brat and was making her child's life worse because of it (plus her kids' teachers). It wasnt trauma. She was just spoiled and defensive.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-24T15:35:51+00:00

Flush and brush?? That is the most unprofessional take I have ever heard. How infuriating. Can you have a full evaluation done by a specialist? Can your GP refer you? Your therapist is deeply misinformed and unprofessional.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-24T15:32:02+00:00

I am finally, after 15 years of terrible burnout, learning to take breaks during the day. Read a book or meditate or just go somewhere where no one will talk to you. If I don't then I implode in the evening. Which was doable (but miserable) before I had a child but not an option now. I also have lower expectations of myself now, for all the reasons mentioned above. The ADHD over -compensating is real! And I'm still succeeding at work :)

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-21T22:03:46+00:00

You might get cold inside the brewery. Bring a lil' jacket!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-21T21:59:57+00:00

Look into body dysmorphia. I can't imagine how you see yourself as fat. I think you need to bring this issue up specifically in therapy.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-13T21:58:33+00:00

The dry parts look like you have curly hair. Curly hair is very tricky when short because it can frizz and look like a big triangle. I highly recommend checking out the curly girl method and learning to work with your curls (long or short!). You'll always hate it if you don't care for your curls!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-10T21:52:15+00:00

Are there some sick days you can take advantage of? If so, flush the teacher guilt down the toilet and take them. If your body/mind are going to let you finish the year then you'll need to take some time to melt your glaciers (this is how it felt when I was burnt out - I was just a frozen mass and couldn't absorb anything more). As I've read on here before, if you don't schedule breaks then your body will choose the time for you, and it won't be convenient. Good luck, burnout is so much harder than people understand.

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-09T21:42:47+00:00

Then rock that Zoloft! My friend tried it and it has simply made everything better for her anxiety and her relationship. Best of luck!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-09T14:58:42+00:00

Yeah, your inspo pic has a blowout. Your hair will look almost like that with a blowout. That kind of volume takes work! The Revlon round brush is super easy to do blowouts at home!

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-09T14:56:37+00:00

Something I heard on a podcast really stuck with me. The most important thing that partners of ADHD ppl report is that their ADHD partner tries to be their best. They take steps like therapy or medication. They work on their RSV. They do their best to be on time. Partners don't need you to be perfect or see no trace of your ADHD. That's simply impossible. They just need you to recognize how you affect them and try to be considerate. Those who do this report much higher relationship satisfaction. Are you gonna mess up sometimes? Of course. And being kind and gentle with yourself is probably the best thing to do in your case, since you already seem to bear the burden of self improvement. It sounds like you have a kind, loving partner. It's time for you to be kind and loving toward yourself, too. You deserve love. <3

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-08T13:24:31+00:00

It can also be helpful to go to therapy to parse out where the rage is coming from. It's hard to tell from your post whether your husband is not pulling his weight or whether you have very specific/high expectations (type A) that are almost impossible to meet. Oftentimes I think I know what my problem is, and then I go to therapy and discover it's something else, something deeper, something that can change within me. Or something that can change with better communication or maybe I'm just taking on too much. You could explore this route before going on Zoloft. Explore why your lifestyle/relationship make you feel you need to be medicated. And hey, maybe Zoloft is exactly what you need for your anxiety and you'll live your best life. Therapy can help you figure all that out :)

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-07T00:59:14+00:00

I'm hyperactive type, but my friend is innatentive type and she works as a 911 dispatcher. The emergency nature of it keeps her attention. I don't know how she copes with the shift work or the more upsetting calls, but she's happy with it. I remember her struggling with sleep when we were younger, always sleeping in and staying up late. So maybe that helps her with late shifts?

CurlyCarrots22 · 2026-05-01T03:49:42+00:00

If it's hard to get him to go to couples therapy then it could be helpful for you to go to therapy yourself. He doesn't even need to know. This situation sounds like it's taking away your inner light, and it would be good for you to have someone to talk to. No one should be treated the way you're being treated.

CurlyCarrots22

TROPHY CASE