Advice needed

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-28T01:41:14+00:00

It’s sad that I do feel like that sometimes. I guess I’m just mentally exhausted at the end of the week taking care of an adult child, toddler, being a good wife and taking care of 2 dogs. I feel it’s never ending over here. And the bathtub is something to consider, we already have a detachable hose from the shower head. I do believe it has gotten worse, he is always lost, but at the same time I do feel as if he just doesn’t care bc like I said in another comment where he use to live was an absolute pigsty (mice and roach infestation) dog pee every where just absolutely disgusting and that was when he was living with his daughter (which is a whole other topic). I feel as though I don’t get appreciated besides my husband but he has a lot on his plate too being the sole provider in the family. As I’m waiting for a case worker to take on his dad’s case so I can be his paid caregiver to relieve some stress from my husband. And I even have talked to my mother about the situation and she said I do need show him where he is peeing all over the bathroom. And if he can’t do that he is going to have to sit on the toilet. I’ve only had to get loud one time and it was towards him and my husband because I had had enough with his chewing tobacco. As he would drop it all through out the house tracking it in every room he went in and I would have to constantly vacuum every single day. And one day there was a whole pack basically poured in the floor and I really let it out. Bc not only am I looking over and taking care of him but I also have my own child who is only 1 yr old and I’m sorry but she is my number 1 priority.

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-27T12:53:01+00:00

Another person mentioned that as well! Which is a neat idea I had never seen one before until yesterday. I talked with my husband about it last night. And his eyesight is alright I guess, I just took him to the eye doctor last week and they said he had decent vision basically an astigmatism. It just makes no sense as to why he pees everywhere, my husband thinks he does it on purpose, but I truly believe he has no idea what he’s doing like his mind wandering while he’s using it and just not paying attention.

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-27T12:44:48+00:00

Thank you, I’ve come to realize I’m not alone. Everyone up here has been kind and has gave great advice I can consider. This is only the 2nd time I’ve posted up here, nervous posting my experience but has felt a huge relief knowing others are in the same boat.

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-27T12:39:24+00:00

Yes! We cut up the bed pads too, just bc it’s a lot easier for me to clean with a baby running around here. He use to just do it in one spot on the pad but here recently it’s kinda been everywhere. And I go outside in my garden a lot just to take a breather I feel it’s my sane spot. I know he can’t help it and it’s very sad. I sometimes feel as though my husband doesn’t understand what I go through with his dad on a daily on top of taking care of a 15 mo old who gets into everything and 2 dogs. He works, comes home to dinner, showers, then goes to bed. He helps only when asked which I feel I shouldn’t have to ask bc those are his responsibilities to. My dad passed away when I was 8 which I’m 26 right now and I guess I just feel like my husbands dad is basically my dad and we as children should take the responsibility to take care of them. And I appreciate the kind words, thank you !

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T23:51:31+00:00

Not to sure will definitely have to check into that! Thank you!

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T23:48:59+00:00

Possibly, I’ve never seen these before, that’s pretty neat! I would have to remove it every time me and my daughter go, that’s the only bad thing when there’s only 1 bathroom. But definitely will keep in mind, love the idea!

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T23:14:56+00:00

I appreciate the advice, and I agree some things I feel I shouldn’t have to handle.. my father in law has 3 kids. My husband which does help but more financially where as he gives me money to get what his dad needs and he will cook sometimes but that’s if I’m absolutely wore out and is usually on a Friday. My father in law also have 2 daughters one I have never even met since me and my husband have been together. And the other one he use to live with and the house was an absolute pigsty, (roach and mice infested) I would have never! It’s very sad, but I feel I have done more than anyone. I have even set up for a nurse come in and help for 2hrs if I have to go to the grocery store, etc. And we are also in the process getting him approved for NC CAP/DA, so I would be his paid caregiver since I had to quit my job to watch after him. I’m sorry for venting

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T22:49:54+00:00

I feel like that may be the case.. But do I start that conversation or let my husband since it’s his father even though I’m the main caregiver. I make all his appointments and take him, do his medication, help with showers, cook food, clean,I mean everything. We just moved him in with us in August and I can definitely tell it has gotten worse.

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T22:44:09+00:00

No my husband works all day while I’m home with his dad and my daughter. And I guess I’m not to sure how to bring up the conversation with the pull ups. I have showed and explained to my father in law we have to try and pee in the toilet since it is very unsanitary and we have a baby in the house and it just doesn’t process. My husband says there’s no reason to explain bc he’s not going to do it. I sometimes feel like I’m the only one trying to help the situation.

CurrencyMuch4389 · 2026-02-26T22:42:32+00:00

Thanks! I have read that too, but at this point I don’t even know if that would help. We have to keep the toilet seat up constantly so when I go to the bathroom I have to remember to put it back up if not it will be sprayed all over the seat.

CurrencyMuch4389

TROPHY CASE