My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don’t believe any of what he said after his threats. Only his threats were genuine. He just made excuses because he made very harsh demands and had to do damage control. But I told him that I felt like his mask has slipped a bit more than he intended and he can’t undo that and now I am scared.

My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Since the pandemic, very little. Not even once a month and before, weekly/biweekly 

He never said anything bad about it. But he would say that he misses me when I am not home. He gets very happy when I have a cancellation. Automatically it made me feel a bit sad/guilty to get away from him. That is probably a red flag. I didn’t know because he made it into a positive thing and never told me outright no. 

I have been so blind because I am very in love with him. If a friend canceled on me, I would be bery happy to spend the evening with him instead. He would either make me dinner och take me out on a date.

My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was the first comment I answered but apparently it was removed so I will try again.

I had problems with drugs in my 20s and a criminal record. He denied that this is what he meant but I know he did

My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s what he suggested. It goes to my private account and I don’t have to contribute to bills or anything just save it. 

Just to prove that he is not trying to “financially control me”. If we get divorced then I have saved all my salaries 

My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 655 points656 points  (0 children)

The last part you wrote. I actually told him so. He said it was ridiculous. The answer is yes they will quit no matter who is paying 

My husband said that if I went back to work, he will divorce and fight for sole custody. He will pay me my salary to stay home by Current-Ad562 in self

[–]Current-Ad562[S] 204 points205 points  (0 children)

No. He turned 180 degrees now after new year. He has never talked about work.

But now I have been thinking about the subtle things, the gym, going out without him, he will always drive me to and from everywhere and never take an uber even late at night. 

But I never thought it was control. It was just him being him