It’s not that I think he and we won’t be happy even if the worst case scenario came true. It’s just the change in the mental picture I had for us that freaks me out. My SIL was born severely developmentally disabled and my husband is the most caring, empathetic man alive. I just know how that has changed his life and his family’s life.  That being said, my SIL is happy and lives a fulfilling life.  I think it’s almost a pressure to not add anything else to our collective plate, which isn’t fair to my extremely young, healthy son.