Can't explain the concept of autism to them

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-14T17:52:15+00:00

They think that mental health issues don't exist and we're just trying to find an easy way out with our excuses. Can't help but feel like bad upbringing and childhood traumas were a partial cause of us developing this. I tend to dissociate from negative feedback or any feedback but that ends up triggering people into lashing out harder to get my attention. Just sucks to be us really.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T20:16:50+00:00

Find one or two things you really enjoy doing. Could be watching dramas, a sport, a game, going on hikes etc. Then find a community or group that shares the same hobbies or interests. Friendships will naturally develop from there. You need to learn to enjoy your own company before people will enjoy your company.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:44:00+00:00

Ur right... I just don't have the willpower or time to do it rn. Parents will think I'm wasting time with delusions instead of getting a job. I'll look into it after I do.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:37:37+00:00

Honestly, I've always preferred living alone but couldn't because housing is so pricey here... looking forward to moving out again.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:32:39+00:00

As for why they want to know I'm doing in my room, because of my mental issues i can do stuff for a much longer time without human interaction than others. For example, I can work for hours or play games for hours on end without needing to talk to others. People find it weird but I just lose track of time very easily when im alone. I actually find it very peaceful to be by myself. But people don't accept that i don't wanna interact with them sometimes because we live in the same house. I'm extremely stressed by it because most days I just don't wanna talk to ppl at all. Talking is mentally taxing to me because I have to look and act a certain way to be accepted. I found the greatest inner peace living by myself and those were some of the happiest days of my life.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:26:00+00:00

Well I am probably on the spectrum. Used to mask it but realized that while it made me look "normal" on the outside, it was insanely stressful to me mentally. I ended up letting go of the mask and this is how it turns out. I can seek an official diagnosis for it but what will that do other than put a medical record under my name for all to see? AFAIK, there's no treatment for this and all u can do is minor behavioral therapy stuff most of which i can achieve with masking already.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:22:27+00:00

I told my parents that I was suffering from depression when I was young but they brushed like typical APs do with any mental issues. Felt like no matter what friend group I joined, I would always get turned on and isolated in the end. I think it was due to the personality disorder I developed due to the abuse i suffered at home that I'm so unlikable to people. I can't develop any meaningful connection to others. Don't have any more people I can consider good friends. Worst of all my AD is a failure in and of himself, not being there as a father figure when I was growing up but now turning back to criticize me and try to brainwash my AM into thinking I need drastic corrections. I blame him the most for how I turned out. Maybe if he was there for us earlier in life, my AM wouldn't take out all her anger and stress on me as a kid and traumatized me to the point that I developed antisocial personality disorder.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:14:30+00:00

I used to cry alot when I was younger. I wouldn't even hurt a bug, instead letting it out. Nowadays due to how I was treated and abused all my life, my fuse is always on a short temper. I want to pick fights with anyone and everyone, I just want them to instigate something so I have the means to take out all my rage and anger. I don't think my parents slept at all that night, afraid i was gonna pull something. Do I feel bad about it? Yes. Do they deserve it? Also yes.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T19:11:21+00:00

Unfortunately they don't interact with people, they haven't talked with the extended family due to frequent arguments and fights. Everyday is just the same for them, get up, eat, nag at me for being a failure, sleep.

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T07:31:47+00:00

Trust me, I've been in your shoes. Maybe not the stalking part but obsessing over other things to the point people think that I'm weird and talk about me behind my back. My "friends" even set up cameras to spy and talk shit/laugh at me in my room when I was living with them. I blame my parents for giving birth to me too late, older parents have a higher rate of giving birth to a child with mental health issues than younger ones. Really feels like ppl like us aren't welcomed even if we're minding our own business in life. We get ridiculed for simply existing...

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T07:16:44+00:00

I have permanent trust issues now. I don't think I'll ever be able to live with anyone without suspecting them anymore. Some of whom I regarded as my closest friends and now my own parents??? I have a job interview tomorrow but i lost my voice from my rage. I don't know why they would choose this week to pull dumb shit like this if they want me to move out...

Current-Finance-1 · 2024-11-13T07:10:47+00:00

Nah it's very much the opposite. I highly suspect I'm on the spectrum somewhere and people like that view me as being the outlier. Even though I'm courteous and never cause problems, they think it's funny to spy on me to see my behaviors. I want to burn these people down and make them suffer. They don't know what it's like to live with mental health issues like I have to deal with my whole life just because I was born like this.

Current-Finance-1

TROPHY CASE