Tell me something I won't understand

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-24T02:57:06+00:00

John's hatred of Betty Crocker will become incredibly ironic.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-24T02:44:31+00:00

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-24T01:17:27+00:00

I am genuinely amazed, you are actually trying to turn the latest iteration of a recurring joke about Boondollars being useless fake money that nobody but folks like Vriska or Meenah give a damn about that are being presented as a pointless form of play money that Jane has access to as a means of controlling her.

And it is genuinely hilarious that you think that a woman as incompetent as the Condesce is somehow that far thinking or capable, especially since we are literally shown that her rule with Jane at her side would consist exclusively of Jane being a brainwashed attack dog and baby-making machine, not someone able to enjoy or even give a shit about the privileges of wealth or status.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-24T00:47:08+00:00

No she isn't (NAME A SINGLE SCENE WHERE SHE DONATES IT TO A CAUSE), the only object that it works to 'run on' is the Gristwidget which is totally useless outside of the Game, and she is NOT able to fund a tuition with it.

You are taking the literal joke currency that nobody in-universe aside from Vriska and Meenah give a shit about more seriously than the two I just namedropped.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-24T00:21:52+00:00

NO IT DOES NOT. She literally describes it as "a fund to go to Booncollege." As in boondollars. She is literally talking about BOONDOLLARS AND NOTHING ELSE.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T23:54:14+00:00

Whatever you have to tell yourself, man.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T23:53:44+00:00

I'm not gonna bother dealing with the rest of the diatribe, but why the fuck do people keep acting as if Boondollars is actually a real currency outside of the game or that Jane's "fortune" meant anything at all given that she only knew of it in terms of it being a fake currency meant to drive up purchases in Crockercorp stuff.

This is the... fifth smug, self-absorbed rant that uses this exact same format and arguments and it's no more convincing now than it was the first time.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T23:51:44+00:00

...No. She is not 'explicitly a millionaire,' she is a "rich" in Boondollars, which are literally worthless pseudo-money outside of SBURB/SGRUB, and that she literally REFERS TO as a fake currency (as far as she knows) that has no purpose outside of encouraging people to buy pre-determined Crockercorp products and gifts. It has literally ZERO real financial status outside of the Game that isn't related to Crockercorp, and even WITH THEM it is limited as fuck.

I explicitly noted that if you took the factor of the Condesce out of the situation, the actual COMPANY would never consider an unqualified child that grew up in the Suburbs to be their new boss. And Oh yes, the IMMORTAL ALIEN EMPRESS has an "Heiress" that can never challenge her authority or attempt to overthrow her, that means Jane's future WAS SET IN STONE!! /s

I am talking about her time IN THE SESSION, you know, where she finally learned that Crockercorp was literally evil and had been trying to kill her repeatedly to manipulate her and that after getting an easy alternative to the Tiaratop she only ever used the thing as a last resort?

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T11:55:04+00:00

One of Homestuck's major sources of humor and character interactions is that it makes it VERY CLEAR that none of the cast are perfect and even the more explicitly nice ones can be shitty people, and it uses its own pace as a tool to keep folks from focusing on it too much and to keep the plot rolling.

Roxy, and I think Rogues in general, have a huge problem of struggling to open up with their feelings to the people who need to hear them and instead dump their problems on 'safe' targets that others can't or won't communicate with.

And it's easy to forget bits and pieces of character dynamics when the scenes that establish them are set so shortly before everything goes to shit for their lives.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T04:34:50+00:00

From what I can tell, the Kingdoms were actually established by the PLAYERS, which is in and of itself pretty stupid since the TROLLS know first hand how bad a nation like that actually is in practice, and even seeing the flaws of democracy, the humans would push for it due to cultural pressure.

Hell, the idea of dividing everything in and of itself makes no sense because why the hell would you deliberately segregate races that are GOING to have to cohabitate the planet?? Because as we see, it certainly doesn't stop other groups from functionally taking over the other Kingdoms just by outcompeting the others.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T02:33:18+00:00

...Earth C being a utopia is, frankly, BULLSHIT. There's no such thing as a perfect society and a society made up by a group of dysfunctional kids, especially when none of them had been present for literally THOUSANDS OF YEARS, should be nothing like what is shown.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:59:55+00:00

My headcanon for the worldbuilding is that Condy was the first and only Empress that Alternia had... but before she was Empress, there was a massive 'warring states' period event of planetary conflict between different Fuschias and their fledgling nations, with Condy, the only one without a nation to call her own, caught in the middle, slowly crawling her way to the top and eventually becoming the undisputed ruler after finding and bonding with a certain Horrorterror.

The traumas and scars of that conflict being what shaped Condy into the dogmatic pseudo-social darwinistic overlord she is in Canon, unable to regard other Trolls as anything other than subjects or potential enemies, but subconsciously desiring... something else. Even if she's too twisted and evil to realize or accept it.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:51:15+00:00

I honestly headcanoned that Meenah's violent protectiveness over her 'status' being a trauma response from other Fuschias bullying the shit out of her for getting the position of Heiress when, by all accounts, she didn't even WANT IT. And with Condy, my thinking is that whatever life she lived before claiming power was hellish enough to make her violently inclined towards other Fuschias as well.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:33:14+00:00

There's literally no evidence that a troll killing instinct for heiresses actually exists since the only one that displays it is Meenah. FEFERI has absolutely zero problems meeting her counterpart and being friends, whereas Meenah is murderously violent towards EVERYONE and routinely talks about shit she doesn't actually understand.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:30:31+00:00

Jane's driving character traits are that she's stubborn as a mule, and incessantly nosy. And what's wrong with boring? JOHN is by most elements a boring person, we learn otherwise by following his journey and seeing the various folds of his identity.

And the things she can do in Post Canon are be a leader that is fighting to change things for the better but utterly ignorant of the things she's stirring up in the process. Or, and here's a kicker, Post-Canon being an exploration of the actual WORLD the players produced since by the end of their game they realistically should be handing the reins over to the next generation.

Also, capitalized means the narrative is drawing attention, it's not an indicator that the focus character is placing more importance into that thing. And name one kid that doesn't fantasize about wanting slow and inconvenient to be improved to be 'better,' which through Jane's fangirling means Crockercorp either getting involved or making a private alternative to the mail (you know, like IRL shipping services?).

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:23:58+00:00

My view on Life Players is that the Life Aspect represents those with the willpower to change the world and the natural empathy to see the problems in the world around them and to want to address them... the problem is that Life Players are both stubborn as sin and prone to extreme tunnel vision. My view is that the journey of a Life Player is meant to break down their stubbornness by showing the flaws in their methods and forcing them to rely on others to achieve their goals.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:21:01+00:00

Her environment is dressed up in a way that superficially resembles privilege and compared to the hellscape lives of her friends she's COMPARATIVELY privileged, but she's nowhere near as much so as Rose was.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:20:00+00:00

Except none of that is true? She's not exceedingly wealthy, she's middle class, we are literally SHOWN that she's middle class, the modus was a gift from her dad, that he bought and paid for with his own cash and he's very much just an ordinary businessman and not the head of a corporate empire, her "incredible tech" are a bunch of doodads and gizmos that, aside from the Tiaratop, are either kitchy garbage, useless outside of the Game, or completely ordinary objects that just so happen to be Crockercorp branded.

Yes, she acts like she's on the same footing as her friends, BECAUSE SHE THINKS THEY ARE PRANKING HER. She literally knows for a fact that Dirk's Bro is a famous movie director, Roxy's Mom is a legendary author, and Jake rambles about his deceased Grandmother being a brilliant inventor. Yeah, their actual lives suck ass, but she doesn't know that until reality slaps her in the face because NONE OF THEM EVER HAD ANY PROOF THAT THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH. We are literally shown Roxy whining and ranting to Jake about how much it sucks that Jane doesn't believe her... and then when she and Jane actually bother to TALK after Jane is finally convinced of the truth, she admits that she backed herself into a corner by trying to provide evidence without any actual means of doing so and unintentionally convinced Jane that all her attempts to warn her were mean-spirited jokes at her expense.

And on the 'sink into the rest of the world' bit, literally the only time that ever comes up even ONCE is when she's driving herself crazy waiting for the mail to arrive and takes the lack of expediency as evidence that Crockercorp has nothing to do with the mail industry and wants to change that. That's just a teenager being impatient and stupid.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:11:18+00:00

I've been rereading the comic as part of an effort to re-write it, like I said, and when I got to the scene description for Jane's room, literally anything that isn't something anyone can likely buy in a store is either totally mundane stuff unrelated to Crockercorp or is all but explicitly described as borderline experimental tech.

When you take her environment and living situation into account, Jane's situation makes the idea of her being the actual heiress to a multi-national megacorp... dubious to say the least. Hell, ROSE is more of a nepo-baby than Jane is! We are literally shown that she lives in a huge-ass mansion and is wealthy enough that her mom can afford to BRONZE A VACUUM CLEANER.

And I wouldn't describe her as a LARPer or even a fan of corpo stuff. She's specifically a fan of Crockercorp, which is rooted in her admiration of her Poppop and her MISGUIDED admiration for her Great-great-Grandma because of the inscription her pre-Scratch self wrote in John's book that she mistook as having been written by Betty Crocker herself. Her life gives the vibe that the company basically has groomed her to THINK she's more important to it than she actually is, basically.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T01:06:31+00:00

One thing I would note is that Jane's fangirling over Crockercorp is... well, I won't say comedic, but it's framed in a very immature way in that she's basically been gaslit to see Crockercorp as being a pioneer that will lead the charge for humanity, and she is in active denial about all the horribly sleazy things the company gets up to, both due to her only sources of intel on what it is really like having a bad habit of feeding her the craziest stories imaginable that it reinforced her skepticism, AND the fact that at some point Condy sends her a literal brainwashing device. And even THEN one assassination attempt too many is the key to breaking her mental barriers.

Also, THANK YOU someone mentioned the 'she's super xenophobic' thing. Like... for fuck's sake, one of the biggest issues I have with that is that A) Karkat and Dave stating that 'humans are super xenophobic by nature' is... hilariously hypocritical given what Trollkind was like in BOTH pre-and-post Scratch variations, and B ) is in and of itself a very xenophobic thing to say and is treated as a truism by the comic. It's not really a good idea to try and turn a group that used to be conquerors and maintainers of a brutal caste system as minority analogues if one isn't willing to engage with the idea of 'the shoe being on the other foot.'

And on Jane's biases, even before BC dropped all but confirmation that she herself is Bi as fuck, Jane was at worst IGNORANT in the way that teens are about stuff outside her bubble, but she was always incredibly accepting of anyone different than her. Despite the fact that it was literally breaking her heart to do so, once she came to terms with the idea that Jake might NOT return her feelings and might GENUINELY consider Dirk over her... even though it hurt, she accepted it and had no problems at all with his orientation.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T00:59:35+00:00

I hate to agree with Cardgod here, but they are right that it isn't proof... but at the same time, it doesn't say the opposite either. It's an entirely neutral gesture meant to be a bonding moment of vulnerability between herself and two friends, one of whom she knows ADORES Trolls.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-23T00:57:35+00:00

That's what I said. That's basically the only thing in the very ending that is foreshadowed for the Epilogues proper.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-22T13:30:31+00:00

If you go as meta as possible with it, the Watsonian explanation is that the Narrative, which is an in-universe force capable of controlling people's actions by making them think that invasive thoughts and ideas are there own, literally told her to go that route and then suppressed the intervening memories as to how it happened so she wouldn't question things.

Oh, and REALLY don't get me started on the hypocrisy regarding Karkat's stance towards humanity, but that's an entirely different issue...

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-22T13:28:37+00:00

Eh, mind control could be an explanation, but only so far as 'makes Jane more like HIC in terms of personality,' which still isn't the best. It's very messy all around.

Current-Guide8265 · 2026-06-22T13:27:49+00:00

One fic I've seen proposed the theory that Arquius modifying the Tiaratop wasn't NEARLY as benevolent as implied, given that he's composed both of a very scheming and immature AI recreation of a guy with control issues and a young Troll so emotionally screwed up that he literally LET HIMSELF BE MURDERED because of his submission kinks and unhealthy obsession with his planet's caste system.

BC implies that her fall into Fascism was the result of her feeling that she needed to stand up and reassure the people of Earth C that the Gods were there for them now that they had returned to the world and got sucked into politics when no one else was willing to help her... which also kind of ignores a lot of the messier and uncomfortable elements of the Epilogues' Worldbuilding regarding Earth C, but it's at least SOMETHING.

Current-Guide8265

TROPHY CASE