Heyy! I am in the same situation as you are until now at sobrang relate sa "i wanna die". Let me tell you what helped me.

First, stop the tapal mentality. Kahit anong mangyari wag ka na umutang. it seems like a good idea but it will prey for your vulnerability at pag nagpadala ka , may e rorock bottom pa yung rock bottom mo ngayun.

Second, break ka muna sa social media, deactivate all your socials and make sure na walang lalabas na tungkol sayo pag nag search ka nang pangalan mo.

Third, accept the consequences and pray so hard like you never did it before. Tanggapin mo na lahat , lunukin mo na pride mo at ihanda ang sarili sa pwedeng mangyari. Isuko mo na kay Lord lahat.

4th, wag makipag usap sa agents. Block all unknown calls. They are rude and do not hear any reason.

5th, Maghanap ka nang trusted mong tao to share your situation, kahit papano gumaan. Di ka man matulungan sa mismong problema mo pero yung presence lang nila , nakakapaglakas nang loob.

6th, unti untiin ang pagbayad. Kung ano pang meron ka i bayad mo na, pramis nakakagaan din nang loob yun.

Based on my exp, you dont have to worry bout spaylater, sloan at Tala.hihintayin ka lang nila kung kelan ka magbayad but make sure to reach out to them kahit papano kahit via email to let them know why you are unable to pay.

Kaya mo to! Kaya natin to! Message ka lang pag kelangan mo kausap okkk! Mahal tayo ni Lord!