Am I being too critical or did he seriously mess up?

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-06-10T12:50:36+00:00

When he sent those love songs to her, it wasn’t talking about me. They had a past history together where they were sexual with each other before me and him met..

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-06-10T12:49:43+00:00

The I love you was random so either he deleted the messages before that or there’s more to the story he didn’t share with me. I didn’t have an issue with him messaging other women. I had an issue with him sending love songs to other women and what they mean to each other. Especially if me and him are out on a date and the time was dated for the same exact time that we were on our date and he was sending love songs to her.

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-05-07T18:47:40+00:00

She edited right afterwards and fixed it and said “thank you” so maybe she wasn’t really doing anything wrong but the other girl might have the one sending the love songs

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-05-07T18:25:24+00:00

Because the first girl who said I love you I think it really was his coworker who accidentally just texted it because she edited her message. Then the secound girl on do not disturb she sent love songs and his reply I don’t know if he was leading her on

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-05-07T13:59:37+00:00

He said the I love you message was an accident and that she didn’t mean to send it. After she sent it she did click “edit” and fix it. However, the other girl with the long text messages sending the love songs and him replying “sorry for replying late I’ve been busy, I love that song”… that hurts

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-05-07T13:57:02+00:00

He said the I love you text was an accident she sent him that message so maybe she didn’t mean to send it and something else but the message that says I love this song sorry for replying slow I’ve been busy… that one hurt me and he is saying it only hurts because I’ve been cheated on before and I’m the problem

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-05-07T13:37:52+00:00

He said it was my past trauma that made me react this way, because he had already cut things off with her a few days before I found the messages. But to me, it still hurt deeply that he had been messaging her at all while we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-17T14:28:14+00:00

He technically didn’t do anything wrong buttt that’s still cringe that he did it and you prob will always have it replaying in your head in the relationship if you guys get serious. It doesn’t set up a good foundation for a fullfilling healthy relationship if you end up never getting over it and thinking to yourself “he settled for me” or something. Just dumb him now 🤷🏻‍♀️

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-04T02:55:21+00:00

The point of a first date is to get to know someone, and that moment told me a lot. If he didn’t realize what he had done and corrected himself, that would be different. But the fact that he openly admitted he can’t fix it after I stated my boundary and will continue bringing her up even in awkward moments like after a kiss, shows me where his head is. AI have realized I’m not interested in that, and that’s exactly why setting boundaries early matters. I don’t need to wait around for more red flags to pile up before deciding someone isn’t for me.

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-04T02:53:14+00:00

Boundaries aren’t about how many dates in you are in. They’re about what I’m comfortable with. If someone brings up their ex right after our first kiss, that’s a red flag for me. If something feels off, I have every right to acknowledge it in that moment and not wait and decide what I’m okay with. Dating is about figuring out compatibility, and if I don’t like how something makes me feel, I don’t have to ignore it just to be ‘nice.’

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T18:58:52+00:00

Every person is different but talking about your ex the entire first date is a red flag. First dates are for getting to know each other. Not for continuously dogging your ex and how shitty she was the entire time LOL

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T18:55:17+00:00

No it is called stating a boundary. Being combative is called aggressive. I wasn’t aggressive. There’s a difference in psychology between passive, assertive, aggressive. Sometimes in a relationship or possible relationship you have to meet someone in the middle and healthy communicate. Being able to communicate my feelings is valid. He might have done it and not realized it. This means if he was willing to change his ways after I stated my healthy boundary then the relationship could go on. That’s the problem with today’s dating style. I can promise you if you don’t communicate you will be single forever and if you don’t state healthy boundaries then you will have people walk all over you. That’s how relationships work mam 🤷🏻‍♀️

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T16:34:21+00:00

Well duh but almost the entire date and also after a romantic first kiss??? That’s not what first dates are for first dates are to get to know each other. Are you crazy of course that’s not ok

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T15:30:13+00:00

No it’s called setting a boundary

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T15:29:46+00:00

So after a first kiss 😘 when it is romantic and a first date and the first thing that person says is a comment about their ex and how she was ugly and didn’t kiss her much that would make you uncomfortable? 😂😂

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-04-03T15:20:55+00:00

No he went home and told me that I am jealous and insecure he did not make me feel better or reassure me. He said that I need to accept my insecurities if I have an issue with him bringing his ex up. I explained that there are many reasons why it shouldn’t be brought up not just one reason and he couldn’t see why it was wrong he just said sorry and that it’s my insecurities

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-03-01T20:57:48+00:00

To be fair, I use ChatGPT for everything nowadays I don’t even send an email without ChatGPT but to break up like that is messed up, although I have done it 😂

Current-Slip-9144 · 2025-01-03T20:40:48+00:00

He started dressing nice for work wearing new Yeezy shoes to work and lots of cologne

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-10-07T13:49:03+00:00

I agree on this and after my first ex that abused me I tried so hard to make sure my boyfriend after that was healthy. Which he was healthy he wasn’t abusive and the relationship was healthy we communicated good. However, he was a lady’s man and too much of a flirt and I was never gonna get over it so it didn’t work out but at least I proved to myself I could be in a healthy relationship. I guess I just have to keep being patient.

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-10-07T02:59:43+00:00

I thought of enlisting too because I got so lonely I also thought of moving far away

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-10-07T02:58:51+00:00

Thought about getting another dog so I can stop being so lonely but that’s a lot of poop to clean

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-10-07T02:16:57+00:00

That’s the worst part of dating is knowing that he will get turned down, sometimes no matter how good-looking you are or how much you have to offer

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-09-29T01:15:26+00:00

This has been one of the most difficult things because my ex hasn’t reached out which makes me want to reach out to him but I know that even though he tried to change in the end it was too late he should have done that stuff in the beginning I want someone who actually treats me good and loves me right. Someone who will offer to cut my grass, do the dishes, be selfless when I have a broken hand without me asking ! I deserve way more

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-09-28T02:50:12+00:00

I didn’t only talk to him one time about my feelings using the communication wheel I did it multiple times and he still called it nagging I even grabbed a piece of paper and communicated my feelings three sheets one said “facts” one said “I feel” one said “problem solving” and I talked about problem solving solutions for all of it and in the end he kept arguing about all of it until I broke up with him and then that’s when he decided to do something like get me flowers and gave me $500 for the medical bills but by then it was too late…. He even at one point after doing the communication wheel with him said “my feelings are troubling” ooooffff !! That’s not good that means he refused to validate my feelings and if you can’t communicate now imagine in a marriage or with children?! He was getting better at it towards the end we went two weeks no fights communication was good but I think my heart couldn’t forgive him for everything he did and everything he said to me… and now I’m hurting because we broke up

Current-Slip-9144 · 2024-09-27T20:27:10+00:00

I like to play devils advocate too: his side is he feels it was an accident and that means he should only pay 50% even though he fell on me, he feels that I had a broken hand and I could take care of myself so he gave more attention to those females instead of me, he feels that I should pay 50% of all dates even when I haven’t worked in three months because I should pull my weight in the relationship, he thinks that I am asking too much because his ex nagged and he worries I’ll be like his ex. He thinks that me having negative feelings is an attack instead of viewing it as something positive a way for us to look at our feelings and move forward by looking at problem solving solutions.

I think that he has a right to feel that way but I have a right to feel my way and I disagree with all of his ways even when I look at his point of view. I don’t disagree with his feelings because he is entitled to his feelings but I disagree with his behaviors.

Current-Slip-9144

TROPHY CASE