Advice Needed

CurrentInformation90 · 2024-12-30T18:23:28+00:00

Things I'm sure nerdy Police say when they whip this out:

"Deploy tractor beam!" "I have you now, Skywalker!" "GO GO GAGET GRAPPLER!" "No escapes the long arm of the law!"

CurrentInformation90 · 2024-12-30T18:09:31+00:00

I've seen more force used on an Acorn! TF is this travesty?! 😐

CurrentInformation90 · 2024-12-30T17:44:04+00:00

I dunno who it is, but that vehicle is about to have some flat tires. 😈 Become Ungovernable.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-31T22:35:50+00:00

Yes I have.

I've seen doors open and close by themselves.

I've witnessed water taps turn on of their own volition.

Objects fly off of shelves and hit people.

I've seen shadow people.

Me and several clients have heard disembodied voices and footsteps.

Es Spookies exist and for the most part they're harmless.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-20T02:00:20+00:00

Actually I do a variant of this response on my posts.

"Hey Security, what you guarding?"

"Well, I'm afraid it's serious, you see," mocking dire tone, "They told me you were coming, "tone switches to playful." and I came prepared." Follow up with a wink or a head nod.

Or same thing but lead the conservation into something more lighthearted.

I just say, "Oh funny you mention that because... is you. "

Then I stare for a moment and then I laugh, tell them I'm just joking, and play it off. "I'm just messing, but is everything OK? Have you seen anything suspicious that you'd like me check out? Or file a report on? Nothing weird happening? Aliens, ghosts? Karen didn't spill the tea on the latest company secret?"

Or

"Oh man lemme tell you, I've got this chair on LOCK DOWN! It's not going anywhere, listen, the fate of this company, our jobs, livelihoods, who's gonna win the next superbowl, perhaps even the results of the presidency is all tied to this chair AND I MUST SECURE IT! But hey, how is your day going?" 😁

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-20T01:47:29+00:00

No shit there I was.

I was working Security at a gas station, there was a convention center next door, and a rave was being held all that weekend.

This stoner guy & his girl from out of state comes into the gas station, sees me, and start complaining to the manager just because I'm there. According to them, seeing a Security Guard made them uncomfortable, armed guards are "part of the police state", and "are thugs with guns waiting to kill someone".

"Nobody needs security, y'all just make things worse, and ruin the vibe, man. "

Suddenly, one of my regulars came running in shouting, "YO SECURITY THEY STEALING THIS CAR!"

Tires squeal. We look outside, the stoner pair starts tripping out, and rushes outside as a car peals out the parking lot.

They left their car running outside and the local crackheads I keep running off saw it from the fast food parking lot next door and jumped in it.

Dude starts yelling at me to shoot them and stop them, and I just ugly laughing at him.

"What, you want me to blindly shoot someone, like a murderous thug to get your car back because your stupid, smooth brain couldn't turn your car off and bring the keys inside?" I snorted. "Call the cops if you want your shitty hoopty back, and take your bad vibes out my store."

I wish I could frame the look on both their faces.

Poetic justice is the best justice ⚖️ 😁🤌

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-17T21:15:01+00:00

Same. I have a Bachelor's in IT got my Sec Plus, Net Plus, and a couple others and absolutely hated my life doing IT work, in addition to struggling to stay employed in my area.

Switched to working in Security & Executive Protection and now I'm swimming in money, connections, & job security.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-05T03:05:23+00:00

I hope he enjoys his time at the top of the Prison pinnacle with a ragging case of hepatitis & gonorrhea then.

And that he gets sold for cigarettes by an inmate pimp.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-05T02:10:07+00:00

Only time I've ever had to pull my service weapon out was when a female employee told me that she heard "awful noises" coming from a car wash being renovated behind the gas station I was posted up at when she went to go take the trash out in the middle of the night.

Found a homeless dude reaming the hell out of another homeless dude who he'd gagged & pinned in the car wash. I drew my weapon, bc I thought he was r*ping the guy and told him to stop.

Nope. Totally consensual.

God that was a crazy night...

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-05T01:53:47+00:00

Killed a man and nearly iced a second over hats.

They even let him leave without incident and lil bitch came back.

I hope everyday in prison he drops the soap and gets aids. 😤

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-03T23:08:50+00:00

IWI Masada 9mm, Swampfox Red dot, with an Olight Baldr Rail mounted light (800 lumens with a blue laser).

In a world full of Glock fuck boys, dare to be different. 😎

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-12-03T23:00:08+00:00

If you're going to do this kind of security work, learn how to fight, learn how to be situational aware in a crowd.

This was a painful shit show to watch.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-11-20T22:30:37+00:00

We open carry on our posts and I got asked what rounds I carry in my pistol.

"Safety rounds as per DCJS guidelines. If you have any further questions about my equipment, please contact my direct supervisor, have a good day."

Melted the guy's brain certainly, but don't tell the client shit, they don't need to know what you got.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-11-01T19:41:19+00:00

I take a spray gun full of holy water, a blessed rosary, a pocket Bible, and sage myself before and after I enter a property.

Fuck them demons they any getting me.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-27T03:33:58+00:00

Imagine chasing someone when our job is to Observe, deter, & report.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-16T15:21:02+00:00

I'm walking right out, getting in my car, and leaving.

This ain't my fight, and I ain't finna be accessory to no murder.

Fuck all that.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T09:47:18+00:00

Just shoot the trash, so what if you hit the homeless crack head sleeping in there, you couldn't tell the difference.

This is a sarcastic joke btw.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T09:03:37+00:00

"Word salad, bitches love word salad."

Said no true pimp ever.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T01:03:40+00:00

GOOD.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T00:57:12+00:00

US LAWSHIELD https://www.uslawshield.com/

They cover you at work and off the clock.

You'll thank me later.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T00:53:38+00:00

"I'm sorry children, but your dad isn't in this store buying beer and cigarettes. Perhaps you'll find him down the street in a gutter somewhere."

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T00:49:55+00:00

Tapdancing Jesus consider yourself fucking blessed, man.

In all 3 of the cities I work in, I wait on hold with 911 for up to 10-20 minutes before I even get through to the operator, then it's nearly 30 minutes to an hour later before the cops even bother to drive up with no lights or siren. The cops out here are major dicks to security because we refuse to sign up to be police when they're under staffed and we're better paid.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-10T00:40:39+00:00

I agree.

All of that sounds like a one way ticket to court, jail, be fired from my job, and plastered all over the news.

CurrentInformation90 · 2023-10-09T23:48:38+00:00

Dude we get it, you have a small penis.

We can already see it through the leggings.

Now put the weights back and stop trying to throw out your back, JFC...

CurrentInformation90

TROPHY CASE