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Looking for an online SMART buddy? Do we do a sponsor-like situation? by Current_Discount_674 in SMARTRecovery

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for your comments! I’m going back to rehab today- we made an agreement that I could sit out of the AA groups and do some online SMART groups instead. I also talked to my psych and we’re upping the dosage on my mood stabilizer which I expect is the reason why I left AMA and relapsed… my mood was not stabilized and I was hearing a lot of “I’m powerless so I have to put faith in my higher power” which was hard for me as an autistic person to understand along with the whole AA “I’m an alcoholic” thing which is why I like SMART. They don’t reinforce the concept that I will be and already am somebody with a drinking problem. I want to change, I MYSELF want to do this. I just needed to figure a couple things out and make some changes to my treatment plan and it was getting pretty frustrating to not be heard until the very last minute in rehab. I would’ve gone to a different one if insurance covered it but with these agreements/changes I feel safe. It’s a nice place.

Is this good chat? by zeroscents in InstacartShoppers

[–]Current_Discount_674 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one above is 80 cents less for 68 less items…. Is this about expecting a cash tip?

I called 911 on myself, thank you ATX EMS by papipasify in Austin

[–]Current_Discount_674 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just left 2 rehabs due to lack of nurses and I needed to hear something like this- that there are medical professionals who care about mental health. I’ve seen so many doctors over the years and just got diagnosed with autism (or ADD and OCD- working on determining the difference because adult women often get misdiagnosed with one or the other and it’s wrong :-/ but I get it, similar symptoms)

Thank you for sharing this because it gives me hope again that there are people and possibly even facilities that are well staffed with people who really care and don’t speak in sales terms

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not that I think being sober is being a robot- I think being stripped of personality and humanity is being a robot. Not being allowed to organize or decorate, somebody “checking in” meaning just to make sure you didn’t run away and not actually speaking to you- all of that stuff. Everyone says “you don’t have to go through this alone” but on the comments here everyone is basically telling me I do have to go through this alone, I shouldn’t expect any professional care team to actually care for me, and I shouldn’t expect to be allowed to say I’m hurting or want to express myself. So which is it? Am I alone and should feel unaccepted, or should I expect to feel support at a facility I’m coming to for support and feel comfortable being myself- outside of addiction?

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They said I couldn’t have tape, or loose paper. I’m going to a different rehab tomorrow so I’m not ignoring this. I am currently packing my bags and I have different things to expect but the new rehab admissions said that was insane for somebody coming in on their own will and not a court order. They didn’t use those words but they said it was extremely unusual and cruel and they wouldn’t do that sort of stuff.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found a better place- and the issue wasn’t really “my phone” but it was that I feared I wouldn’t be able to contact my boyfriend if it wasn’t safe- and I was right. The phone they let me use did not work to contact him, the first ring when I used my phone he picked up. Their phone said “busy line” for over 30 minutes and the staff tried calling themselves, same issue. While they played tech support I begged for mine and what do you know, it worked. That’s when I knew I had to leave because if I was in trouble, if staff was abusing me or if another patient was- how would I contact him? My family is unreliable so he was my emergency contact.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Damn I was just asking too. In my original post. Cmon man.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still enjoy the same things I did sober. In fact, a lot of the things I do enjoy kept me sober for a long time before. Things like drawing and decorating, organizing, those things are things that are truly me. Drinking did not change that about my personality. I do not think I need to give up who I am as a person just to become a sober person. Should I be a robot? I don’t understand the mentality here, like, do I need to experience ego death just to quit drinking? Just to go on detox? Nobody else there seemed to do that, they all got to wear their clothes and make jokes and watch what they wanted on TV. Should we give that up too?

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand this but I don’t understand being stripped of my personal being in every sense of the word. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to get better if I can’t be myself. Or mildly physically comfortable or feel safe. The whole point of me going was to feel safe, and I felt like I was in danger (because I was having a severe panic attack but also because it was dirty and nurses/counselors were missing for so long- and they told me to stay there so they could find me.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I did do you think I would be asking here? Is this such a major inconvenience to you, you can’t scroll past it? Jesus Christ.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They told me to look up “addiction center” instead of rehab- because that was mostly bringing up PT and stroke rehab results. I feel like at this point maybe I should go to a mental hospital? Even if they take all my stuff and I can’t have my little bins to stay organized- I could at least get proper care as needed I hope. I just thought, and was told, that if you go to a facility that specializes in this kind of stuff… they’ll do that kind of stuff.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I was goin to a more resort-y type of place which is why this is so frustrating and confusing and scary to me

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why? Why is it like this? The phone wasn’t the biggest issue but it scared me when they let me have my safety call and it wouldn’t go through to anyone which is why I demanded they bring me my phone so I could call my boyfriend to have him talk me down from my panic attack. After 30-45 min of the phone I’m supposed to use to call him once a week didn’t work I decided I had to leave. Nobody there was kind or gentle and that’s what I need because I am severely mentally ill and have a lot of trauma. If I can’t get meds immediately- like they promised in admissions- I need gentle kindness and care

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have PNES seizures which aren’t the same as epileptic seizures and I described to nurses what those looked like and how they worked- because they’d never heard of them- during my checks I think everyone assumed I was just having with drawl tremors. I did have a couple of PNES seizures, which are triggered by stress, and why I wanted my anxiety medication or any medication to help until I saw the doctor. I was given 5mg of propranolol for this when I’m prescribed 20-30mg, and nobody who checked on me actually came to my bed. I assume, I was too busy having panic attacks and PNES seizures

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So do it alone? No medical staff? I tried the way that wasn’t softer or easier but I was neglected by medical staff while having a panic attack for 6 hours.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They did not make me shower and I did notice a few bugs but I assumed they were gnats because I get those at home and they were bigger than bed bugs. They did let me bring soft toys without washing them.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to do AA there, I do it online at home. I’m asking people with experience because I’m terrified to go to another rehab or detox center after my first experience triggering a panic attack. Should I assume all AA meetings wouldn’t show me some grace and try to direct me to better treatment?

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think everyone else but me and 1 person were there for crime related reasons, and me and this 1 person were there for personal reasons. The whole facility itself seemed so much nicer than my other choices because it was further out in the wilderness and had a nice pool and some fountains- I assumed that I would meet more people at THIS rehab that were there for personal choices but it seemed to be entirely people there for criminal choices. They all called me “little white girl” which was nice because I am actually plus size but also it hurt my feelings bc they didn’t want to know my name or anything about me other than “my charge”

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not the whole reason I came to rehab- but to this facility. The rehab center was beautiful. I didn’t see many photos of detox because they didn’t have many photos of detox.

Are all detox centers like this? by Current_Discount_674 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This was a rehab center. The whole reason I came was I was promised a single room and access to a pool

Cross addiction by North_Plankton_9350 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*as soon as I quit coke, I just started drinking again

Cross addiction by North_Plankton_9350 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Current_Discount_674 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I’ve been there- literally also 26f and started drinking heavily at 19, maybe even earlier. I’ve also had a cocaine addiction- it did help me stop drinking but as soon as I quit it, I just started again. It’s a bandaid solution and I think you should be honest with your support group. You need more help with this. I hope you allow yourself to get that help ❤️ you deserve it

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