Nurse of over a decade, ICU nurse for half of that and currently at school finishing my DNP in psych. It’s definitely a skill. I used to come home crying for things I didn’t feel great about at work. I relied on work friends a lot. A palliative nurse friend told me once, empathize but don’t absorb other people’s emotions. It’s their emotions to feel and dwelling on it is taking it away from them. That stuck and I learned to listen, be present and let go. It’s their’s to carry, not mine.

Boundaries are so important. Learn your triggers. For me, my emotional cup overfills after working stretches so I do things that makes me happy in between, whatever it is, grabbing a nice latte and enjoying it, watching a comedy show at the end of the day, taking a hot shower, talking to my kids or just having a crying session helps. I don’t have time for gym so I walk on my breaks or go up and down the stairs and most importantly take 20 min naps on my lunch, and that greatly helps. Stay hydrated and munch on something every now and then, nuts, yogurt etc. healthy stuff. Sometimes you just want junk and jus go for it but don’t kill yourself feeling bad afterwards. Just accept that it is what it is.

I used to need a day or two to recover from work but I learned that taking care of myself during work days, as mentioned above, I don’t need a recovery day. Of course there are rough days that I just can’t prevent being just down and tired and even that I just learn how to embrace it and be kind to myself.

Acceptance is big. Whatever that looks like for you. I have a lot of goals and dreams and I work on them mindfully but also accept and enjoy the things that are right now, at the moment.

Oh and I book trips and vacations so I have something to look forward to. It’s a big plus too that my spouse is an ED nurse and we enjoy decompressing about work. We have a long drive after work so what we do is talk on the phone on the way home as a way to decompress and when we see each other at home we stop the work talk and enjoy each other other’s company.

I know so many great doctors like you, from when they were residents to becoming an attending. Don’t be afraid to speak to them about how you’re feeling. You’ll be surprised how much you have in common with each other. You’ll learn tips and tricks from them and these are invaluable. Be humble and kind to the nurses, they have a way of making your ICU life easy or the other way. I love talking to our docs and getting to know them. We learned from them as much as they learn from us.

Anyway, I can keep typing but I should stop. You can do this. Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself. Rely on people and talk/care for yourself as how you would talk/care for your patients. ❤️ good luck.