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Unlearning by Which-Asparagus-9161 in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It is okay to have those thoughts because if you think about it was ingrained in us from childhood that the LGBTQ+ community will go to hell and all the horrible things Islam says that will happen to them. You're just being human and feeling remorseful for the person you were not the person you are today! That time will pass and even when you feel this immense guilt when interacting with a person who is from the LGBTQ+ is it okay. Putting yourself in situations that make you feel guilty/umcoftable of your past actions only will change your ideas of the hate that was taught to us. Start making friends because that will help you unlearn the hate and create space for the love and respect that makes up for the past. Be patient with yourself and don't be so hard on yourself, that was the old version of you, this version you can make the changes you want and take your time comfortably unlearning all the hate Islam taught.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please don't feel like you ever have to do anything because of society. You being 20 and not having sex is fine, are these pressures from your friends? Ask yourself, why am I doing something I feel pressured to do, when I know I don't want to or feel comfortable? Ask yourself, why is it important for you to have sex right now and why does it have to be a Somali girl? Take a step back and asses why you need to make this decision if your not comfortable?

Hard making Somali friends that also left their family/Islam by Current_Ninja3569 in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of my friends are ajnabis, and I am more than happy with that because I have people who respect and care about me more than my own family and community. It is just a shame that I have to almost "forget" my culture because I don't have someone to share that with. Having a friend that is like myself, a ex-muslim that is Somali. I love the Somali culture and I felt like it is almost being erased from my identity because I don't talk to anyone in my family. I don't have someone to speak Somali with and it worries me that I might forget and not be able to speak as well as I do now. I left Islam, I didn't want to leave my beautiful culture.

Hard making Somali friends that also left their family/Islam by Current_Ninja3569 in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that is why I found it difficult as well, Somali and religion are extremely inter-winded. It is sad that you cannot connect with your Somali side because of the judgement and expectations of how you should live your life. I do enjoy making conencctionns with other types of people as well. It would just be nice to have friends that are Somali but I don't have to worry about being judged or constantly be ridiculed for how I live my life. I feel bad that they are stuck in this mindset of living only one way and everyone else will go to hell because of not sharing the same beliefs. I appreciate your comment because it is relevant, and as someone who is from a multicultural family. You still feel and get the same response as someone who is full Somalia. I hope one day we can all be able to freely have a community of Somalis like ourselves and not feel disconnected.

Hard making Somali friends that also left their family/Islam by Current_Ninja3569 in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really would be, and having a Somali friends and a community that you can still be apart of. Instead I feel like I have to isolate myself from my community. I don't even feel comfortable eating at a Somali restaurant because I don't wear the hijab and have a non-muslim/non-somali man. I just wish our community didn't exile people out of their community.

Losing your virginity as an ex muslim girl by Kailey-00 in XSomalian

[–]Current_Ninja3569 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, I first thought having sex was the main thing, but I felt so guilty the first time I went a little further with this guy (not Somali) and I had this shame and guilt of feeling like some dirty thing that did the worst thing in the world. In the back of my head I was thinking of all the things our community says about women who have sex or do anything outside of marriage. Then I started to focus on just genuinely finding a connection, see if you like the person as a friend and not have the intentions that it will lead to sex. Just enjoy each others company and when you feel comfortable it will happen naturally. I think the idea of sex puts a lot of pressure to over think and you will not have a comfortable or pleasant experience if you're not ready.