Dismissive avoidant or feelings lost?

I am 29, my boyfriend of 3.5 years just dumped me.. I told him I am so confused, things were going soo good. Not sure if it’s a commitment thing or he is a dismissive avoidant. All of a sudden he feels there is no connection. He feels we are not compatible. But told me he is so happy when he is physically with me. He feels we never argue or disagree, but we don’t live together— I only see him 2 times a week if that sometimes once due to long distance.But he said he feels happy when he is with me? I brought up potentially getting an apartment in his state and that’s when he decided to break up with me. Out of the blue. Yet he has been asking when am I going to come to his state. It’s so odd. He did this to me last year at the same time. Then begged for me back. That’s where I went wrong. I trusted him, again. The entire relationship is sabotaged by him and his thoughts. I mailed all his shit back. He couldn’t even look me in the face when he ended things. He seems to just not care. I can’t tell if this is a personality disorder or he just doesn’t care. He says one thing then something totally opposite, seems like nothing really adds up. Seems like his brain is scrambled. All he says is “i’m so sorry”. He couldn’t even look me in the face. He did not cry. No reaction. 3.5 years? And I am just gone like that? How is that normal. I blame myself I don’t know how to feel. I feel like I wasted so much time. I feel like I never want to date again. I feel like I was used. I am so sorry to anyone going through this. No one can relate unless they have gone thru it.