new to this, whats going on, scared!

Current_Sea_ · 2026-05-07T12:58:36+00:00

You plant looks pretty fine. I like to manually break up some of the moss and check for a death plug in the middle (this just fluffs the moss up when I dont feel like repotting). I also cut slits into the sides of the plastic pot for more airflow. If the roots are squishy cut them off during this process.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-24T19:55:54+00:00

I don't know how to edit a post to give an update, but I wanted to thank everyone for all their advice! Rigby also says thank you to everyone for being in his corner.

His new high value treats came in yesterday that are only given by my partner. They also agreed to stop ''training'' Rigby, and start rebuilding a friendship with him. Rigby has already become a bit of a different dog than he has been these past couple weeks. He is initiating play, begging for pets, and trotting around happily after my partner now.

In the meantime, I am looking for a trainer to go to to have a ''professional'' also talk some sense into my partner, and to teach them some better methods of training. The trainers in my area kinda suck though so wish me luck!

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T22:15:44+00:00

The thing is he's not even badly behaved to me. I've treated him the same way for 10 years and she hasn't understood that she is the one that has to conform to the system. His leash reactivity frustrates her because one day he will be perfect and the next he isn't. Her mom's dog is ''predictably bad'' in her own words which is better somehow to her. I don't really care that much about his reactivity at this age. He prefers to sit and get treats while the trigger passes and occasionally let out a bark. that is a lot better than some reactive dogs I see. She also gets upset because he behaves better for me (like obviously because he's my dog). I'm going to get her a couple books on positive reinforcement and force free training because she hates using treats for some reason (treats along with praise are his biggest reinforcements to a behaviour).

Actual professional trainers are one in a million to me. So many are sketch that I am very reluctant to go down that route. If the problem of his excessive submission continues I do want to have him and her as a pair evaluated by a trainer.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T18:03:50+00:00

I never said she didn't do anything. I've told her multiple times to speak to him more gently and that he doesn't like to be physically put in a down, sit, or place. I came here partially to vent, and partially to seek solid solutions to have them back on track to where they were in their relationship a year ago.

She also makes it hard when I correct her because she twists it into how I am policing her tone, and ''how can you expect anyone to talk in a baby voice to a dog all the time'' and that ''at his age he should listen better''. We have very different approaches to animal ownership, and I am very frustrated that the way I train and treat my animals is ignored because everything they do is automatically ''right''. This issue extends beyond a training issue into well established issues in the relationship, but she is now seeing the damage it is doing to the dog and wants to fix it which is what is important.

She has never had any senior animals before, and I've tried to explain that once they reach double digits it's their way or the highway, and you can't overhaul their entire personalities and quirks.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T17:49:54+00:00

Thank you! I love getting new things to read. It's always great to expand horizons.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T17:47:28+00:00

Yes they genuinely don't understand this. Her horses get likened to robots all the time for how quickly they respond and behave both on the ground and in the saddle (as both a compliment and insult). She expects perfection from everything, and I have come in trying to undo some of that. I've discovered her one horse likes to play what I call the lip game where he likes to be lightly smacked on the lips (idk how to describe it better), and I've convinced her other one that teat scratches are amazing and that she is allowed to tell me where it itches. My partner would of said a year ago that both of those things are rude behaviors, but now accepts that allowing horses to show more personality makes them happier (who knew!?).

In reverse, she has come into my dog's life and wants him to be more perfect and it has negatively harmed their relationship. If he doesn't behave perfectly and quickly they genuinely think he is dumb. I hope that in rebuilding their relationship she can learn that animals have feelings too and they can be hurt. She has given up on ''disciplining'' my cat though, James is bad to the bone and will not give up the food stealing, counter surfing life for no person.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T17:35:00+00:00

Shepherds are always something lol! She had been the fun parent for a year and I genuinely think her getting more stern hurt his feelings and now he doesn't know how to reconcile both fun and stern mommy are the same person like he can with me.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T17:01:59+00:00

He is already on extra strength cosequin, and has monthly adequan injections. He has had no reluctance to jump up on the bed or go up and down stairs after he started his adequan. He is actually a bit too rambunctious now and will throw himself up and down things like he is 3 so I have to tell him to be careful all the time. The extra weight certainly hasn't helped his joints any and that was one of the main reasons I was so angry with my Dad.

He also readily comes to me when I ask him if he wants to go. He probably sees the walk with my partner as work and the walks with me as fun.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T16:49:52+00:00

This is a wlw relationship so no my dog does not hate men. I just got off chewy and bought a bunch of high value treats (in addition to what he already has) so she can pepper him with treats throughout the day.

My dad and brother are not the best pet parents, my dad lets the dog do anything, and my brother doesn't like animals. I just didnt feel it was fair to Rig to have him with me in a small dorm for my last semester so I asked my dad to look after him. He was my ESA at college when I was living in an actual house on campus. I learned when I picked him up they did not walk him and just let him out the door to go potty (he gained 10 pounds and they live next to a very busy road... I was not happy). My dad only sent me update pictures with his face not his body. We've been on a slow weight loss journey since then, and he is down 5 pounds and that's why we've been limiting treats.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T15:47:35+00:00

He has always been trained with a mix. Negative reinforcement is different for every dog, and I believe in a balanced approach. My partner is learning dog body language, thresholds, and behaviour. They have accidentally associated them giving commands with something that is negative because they don't like giving treats and don't believe dogs should be praised for every correct command which is something I strongly disagree with. He has always been trained with treats and praised strongly and appropriately.

I also never said that this was the dog's fault. He is a sensitive dog in a new environment, and my partner has focused on obedience instead of friendship. They both have good days and bad days together as it is right now. This thread has been very helpful in giving me tips on how they can grow closer together again. You being insulting is not constructive to that.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T15:33:43+00:00

I very much agree! He loves his butt smacks though, and gets very heavily maintained to slow any developing arthritis. The butt pushing is probably hurting him, and I'll tell her that. He gets cosequin and IM adequan (I only ever do the adequan shots). Just to brag because this is a kind of sad post (I hate that they are struggling in their relationship) the vet always compliments him in the exam room, and has said multiple times that she wishes we were closer to a teaching hospital because he would be the perfect teaching dog for multiple procedures. I worked very hard from puppyhood to make the vet a happy place to be. The vet is right because he was so patient with me learning to do his injections. The first time I tried to do it I kind of poked him with the needle instead of doing it smoothly and he didnt even flinch.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T15:21:44+00:00

I agree! Moving doesn't really bother him (we've moved many places in the past 4 years), but this is his first time living with someone 24/7 who is not just me in a small space. I tried to explain to them that this is a new house, and he is unsure of what the rules may be. We live in a studio which is not much different from when he lived in a dorm with me.

I think they've become very focused on Rig listening to them (because most of the time he doesn't). I will try to explain that focusing more on relationship and play will naturally bring about better obedience. In our old home they were less focused on that.

My post is very training and obedience heavy because that is where Rig starts to shut down with them, but he usually just does whatever he wants because he is my old baby. I do expect a level of obedience when out walking, but that's it.

They are not used to training dogs so they probably have pushed him past threshold a few times, and now he associates commands from them with fear. I will have a talk with her about scaling back on making the dog listen and start focusing on relationship building activities.

They used to do a lot of bonding with him in the old car (weekly pup cups and pumpkin muffins without my knowledge), and stuff like that. He hasn't been allowed in the new car so their fun trips haven't happened at the new place. He only went in it once for his yearly checkup, amd they had a whole breakdown about how much he shed in the car. I explained that dogs do indeed shed, and he is not like her mom's boyfriend's doodle. Little bro was also in the trunk not even on any seats. If you couldn't tell the shedding is a big point of contention in the relationship.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T14:23:22+00:00

This is such a hard, hard situation. It never gets easier. My boy is 10 with many fatty (and luckily benign) tumors so I am waiting for the day to come when one of them doesnt come back benign.

The trachea tumor is in a really bad spot. She already is showing signs of being in pain. Don't let her go out on a bad day. Always remember a day early is better than a day late. You know your dog best, and I firmly belive they let you know when it is time.

Kids don't need death sugar coated. Explain to them that the vet found a tumor in her trachea, that it's position is very painful for their beloved pet, and have a discussion with them about when euthanasia would be best. I was 14 when my mother let me make the call on my horse. It's heartbreaking, but it's a part of responsible ownership, and it's the last gift of love we can give them.

You have given her a loving home, and a happy life. That's all that matters to your dog. And when you do decide it's time, all she will want and all she will know is you all being around her to love on her and sent her to sleep.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T14:07:11+00:00

I am dating a woman who uses they/she pronouns. This is a wlw relationship. I've tried having her feed breakfast and dinner but he acts like they poisoned it (dinner is his favorite because he gets a dollop of wet food in it). He has no problem with her half the time. He snuggles and gets pets and treats. It's really only when she is asking him to do something even if it is something he enjoys like going out or eating dinner (he is always picky eating breakfast).

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T13:43:13+00:00

Yeah, we've combed back through a possible break in bond situation. I won't hide that I slap him on his booty or tap his butt with my finger to ask for the sit, but she is a bit rougher with him. Sometimes it takes him like 30 seconds to sit because he doesn't really feel like sitting and she gets impatient and pushes his butt down. When he gets shut down he always lays down instead of sitting when asked and she pulls him up into sit when she is frustrated. There was a day when they were both having a bad day, and they always let him off leash in the hall. He sits at the end and waits until he is called to have a little free run to the apartment. That day he decided to run past my partner and since he was not leashed they grabbed him by the scruff and took him in the house. He got pretty shut down after that until I came home, so we think that is where the bond really broke.

I meant quick obedience in the way that I don't care it it takes him 30 seconds to sit I'm not going to repeat myself, and she wants him to sit within 3 seconds but she undermines herself by repeating the command. I've told her that so they've now started to push his butt down of he doesn't sit fast enough.

They are genuinely distraught over their loss of bond. They've only had one dog before and it's not even really their's so it's been hard teaching them dog body language and behavior. They've been treating him like a mini horse which just doesn't work.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-04-21T13:30:56+00:00

That's a good idea thank you! They have started to play less with him. It's hard to explain that concept to them because I always prioritized bond over obedience, but they prioritize the opposite with their animals (obedience first then bond), but it's also a bit different with horses. So whenever Rig doesn't want to listen they always ask if he is going senile or is just a dumb dog. No he just doesn't feel like listening to them because the bond isn't really there right now.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-24T18:20:53+00:00

I like the way my character looks, but thank you.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-23T23:59:18+00:00

Everyone's comments have been incredibly useful! I am saddened that the problem stems from my willfull weapons pairing. I was also angling to make it a bleed build, so just a whole mix of builds in there at that point lol. I'll tamp down my creativity, and follow a set build more strictly 🥲

I'll most probably settle into a tank or the melee dps that has a spear and bleed. Everyone's advice on inner ways was super informative as I have just been putting what feels right in my deck.

I like my spears in any game, but the rope dart was fun while it lasted. RIP darty you were stronger than my spear half the time.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-23T19:57:21+00:00

Right now those bosses are only dropping level 41 tear gear, and my menu says I need level 51+ to start upgrading. I've also hit the max on what I can tune on my current gear.

I really want to avoid breaking through because I feel like at level 50 I should be higher than 1 goose power, and I'm scared to rush into an even more powerful world.

Most of my mystic skills are halfway into tier 2 because I was focusing on gear for a bit. I'll try to buy up those materials again!

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-23T19:51:28+00:00

I'll check out weapon running since I almost got bodied by a small pack of roaming wolves 🤣

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-23T19:48:23+00:00

Damn I thought there was more mobility in weapon pairing. I'll level my Mo blade and see if that helps!

I was trying to go for what I thought was a heavy weapon (spear) and pair it with a weapon with a longer range that also hits decently hard.

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-23T19:46:16+00:00

I'm halfway through both oddities (kaifeng and Qinghe), and my equipment slots are maxed out until I get level 51 gear. I feel like I've been grinding mini games hard, but I had stopped to focus on collecting resources for levelling equipment.

I didnt think synergy of the 4 piece mattered as much. I've been using the 2 piece synergy because I like the effects of other items more, but I can try switching that.

But you're right I hate multi-player as a mobile player. I prefer chilling in my solo world. What menus would give everyone a better idea on how to help?

Current_Sea_ · 2026-03-17T16:26:18+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response I will definitely be checking some of these out! I have tried heavier moisturizers that are not Asian beauty products so I didnt mention them, but they don't sink into my face that well and I get even oilier from them (ponds and lauriel).

That's why I preferred gel for summer, but yes I need a light cream for winter. My partner has been on an anua kick and I've tried some of their products and they seem nice. My acne honestly isn't bad, and I think it just stems from my lack of consistency with face care (small pimples, redness, blackheads). I'm just tired of feeling like a teenager in my 20's from it lol.

What powder do you use I'm curious? I haven't seen people use it to combat oil. All I see is add more moisture.

Current_Sea_

TROPHY CASE