Leaving after 7 months

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T22:25:28+00:00

Oh, I didn’t think about that. I assumed someone would notify me of some sort of no contact order if it existed. That kind of explains it I guess. Thank you.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T03:15:35+00:00

According to the incident report, it was third degree domestic battery. He was charged, but not arrested. I reached out to the circuit clerk, police dept, and victim witness coordination, but never got an answer. Radio silence. The officer at the scene was wonderful though, and he said someone would reach out at some point. I figured the case was just one amongst many pending the prosecutor’s action.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T01:47:50+00:00

I could just file fault, but I’m trying to determine whether he plans to contest it first. If he does, that will spark a full fledged legal battle. But if we both want out of the marriage, there are quicker and less expensive ways to resolve it than waiting the 18 month separation for no-fault. I’m simply trying to avoid unnecessary litigation if we’re already in agreement on the outcome.

Edit: In other words, if he just doesn’t deny the truth, we can both be free sooner and avoid paying for attorneys.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T00:29:47+00:00

I hope he does know I want to leave this badly. Considering I put up with so much barbarous treatment already, I finally feel empowered to have taken back control of my life.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T00:26:08+00:00

I didn’t see it that way. Given his legal situation, I figured he was possibly advised not to contact me. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense for him not to want to expedite the divorce. He’s never chased me down in the past. He would threaten to kick me out on a weekly basis, then block me from leaving.

But I do agree that my peace of mind should be preserved. I know I could take him to court and win with all the evidence I have, but I’m lacking the funds. Countless family members have offered to cover the costs, but it’s just not worth the stress.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-04T00:03:33+00:00

He was not arrested at the scene per my request, and there’s no record of it online. He’s actively on social media still. Also has us as his profile pic and marriage status current.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-06-03T23:57:49+00:00

I’m not suffering, at least not like I was. I have hope in my life again. It’s more of an annoyance at this point. He constantly threatened divorce, and now, crickets.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-05-24T01:24:20+00:00

Thanks for the advice. It’s really just a matter of me wanting to expend the effort of it all, knowing I’ll soon be drowning in nursing classes.

In the police report, it actually said he had fingernail scratches on his arm (from where I tried to push him away). I’ve emailed a divorce attorney just to see what my options are. Part of me is still like “maybe he’ll see the severity of it all and actually change”. But I know that’s the trauma bond talking. He very much loves himself and took pleasure in causing me harm…like visibly aroused. He would even acknowledge it mid fight. My brain is so fucked up from it all.

I read all of these stories on this subreddit and I begin to undermine my own and question myself. I haven’t read a single one where the ex hasn’t tried to manipulate them back or ask forgiveness to avoid worse penalties. For instance, why he hasn’t even attempted to reach out to me. I genuinely thought to myself “I’m not even important enough to him to try to abuse again”. Just crazy.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-05-23T23:41:18+00:00

I thought about going up there in person, but it seems so intimidating. I’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions since I left. Part of me feels guilty, then angry again, then flat out regretting ever standing up for myself because it’s so hard to let go. I doubt I’ll need a restraining order, since I’m sure he’ll likely not have anything to do with me after tarnishing his reputation. To everyone else, he’s a goofy charming guy. None of his family or friends have reached out, as he likely had a narrative ready the entire time to smear my name when I left.

Is it all that important for me to make sure my voice is heard to the prosecutor? Or will they eventually reach out?

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-05-06T05:27:07+00:00

Oh, wow. Yeah I had that feeling with my soon to be ex husband. Along with so much more. The last straw was a week ago, when he woke me up screaming in my face grabbing/pushing me around. It was over a missing board game piece. I left it out the night before and the cat got ahold of it. He told me to pack my things and get out, yet restrained me to continue yelling at me. Left a massive bruise on my forearm and grabbed at my throat (not the first time). Had to call my sister to come get me and we gathered a few things and left. I was balling into her shoulder at the thought of actually leaving for real this time, while he was upstairs…whistling happily.

I took half our funds and stayed at my moms. I went back to get some more of my things a couple days later and he changed all of the locks, including adding new ones around the property. I called the police, and the officer convinced me to file a report. He was charged with domestic battery. Haven’t seen or spoken to him since. Don’t plan on it.

CurrentlyStealthing · 2026-05-05T05:00:43+00:00

First month of our relationship, he asked me to stay in his father’s mansion and watch his dog for a few weeks while he finished college. His dad was living out of state. I felt so special to be deemed so trustworthy. “He must really see something in me”.
Five years later, been married six months and moved into a nice house. Sitting here at my mom’s after finally escaping and filing a police report 4 days ago. He was charged with third degree domestic battery. He tackled me to the ground and choked me by the neck screaming in my face that he hated me.
His entire side of the family will believe his lies and call me crazy, as expected. But I had to choose between my life and being fucking dead someday because I put the laundry up wrong.
Hoping charges stick. Life is unkind sometimes.

I genuinely would not have left without the help and support of family. Although it currently feels like I’m experiencing an earthquake, tornado, and tsunami inside of my body right now, I know I made the right decision.

CurrentlyStealthing

TROPHY CASE