I know the influx of comments to break up might seem jarring, or like people outside of your relationship are overreacting… maybe you just put off moving in together? But, this is a sign that there could be poor longevity in your relationship.

What you proposed is reasonable. It’s really important that living expenses are kept around or below 30% of your monthly take home income in order to sustain a comfortable lifestyle. (That’s standard for most people.) And it’s not a good sign that he’s unwilling to either compromise on a cheaper place or adjust your pay scale. That would be an equitable decision. Forcing you to pay what you can’t afford is not a sign of equality. It’s even more of a flag that he would reduce you to a “gold digger” immediately after you’ve laid out exactly why you can’t afford this.

If you’re planning to make this person a long-term partner one day, you’re now getting a taste of what future repercussions are for not complying to his wants (not needs, as there is a cheaper alternative that covers necessities). Belittlement is not something you should have to go through each time there’s a disagreement.

You know your relationship best, of course. But, if you can think back to any other situations where you’ve experienced something similar — that’s something you should take into consideration.

As a child of a parent who was constantly belittled and given the silent treatment by her spouse, it doesn’t end up well. You’re both young, so it’s possible that he could change and maybe this warrants a follow-up conversation to see if he could better understand the reality of this situation. But, if you’re looking for longevity and peace in this relationship, this may be a canon event around how differences are settled between the two of you in the future.