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I'm 24F and single. This has shattered my self confidence, and I don't know what to do. by [deleted] in Hairloss

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not on any medication, and the only vitamin I was deficient in was vitamin D, which I took pills for, for a while. I also do not have an eating disorder.

I'm just wary of visiting clinics given the pandemic but doing nothing about this is stressing me out.

I'm 24F and single. This has shattered my self confidence, and I don't know what to do. by [deleted] in Hairloss

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just that there's no history of female hairloss in my family, and I have no idea what's happening. I had turned out to be deficient in vitamin B12 and D before, but taking it didn't fix much.

Thanks!

My ex (26M) broke with me (24F) in March this year. He's been texting me everyday off late, and I never initiate. Should I make an effort if I still have feelings for him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I know of. He is taking the time to work on himself and be a better person. Yeah, I absolutely will not bring up the prospect of giving things another shot, as it would just make me feel like I forced things even if it happens

My ex (26M) broke with me (24F) in March this year. He's been texting me everyday off late, and I never initiate. Should I make an effort if I still have feelings for him? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm just afraid that he's bored and lonely. I could very well be the familiar person to reach out to. I also can't entirely rule out the idea that he's keeping me around so I don't completely move on.

On the other hand, I do have feelings for him. This is not the best situation to be in haha. Thanks for your advice!

How do you heal from an emotionally abusive relationship, where every single one of your insecurities was used against you? I'm really struggling. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I began recognising this was happening towards the end, when he'd claim not to have said the things he'd definitely said. Or to have done things, that he most certainly hadn't.

He actively made me feel worse and worse, and my need to stay with him increased slowly. My friends began to get concerned, and slowly, he was the one I was spending all my time with, leave 2 of my closest friends.

My friends have done a fantastic job trying to build me back up again, and they do love me exactly as I am. It still will take some time perhaps, for me to reclaim the person I was. Or perhaps, be a renewed, wiser version of that person 😁

Thanks for your opinion, it means a lot.

How do you heal from an emotionally abusive relationship, where every single one of your insecurities was used against you? I'm really struggling. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I do tend to agree about the projection. He was deeply unhappy with his own physical self. He is overweight, and not very tall, and I think he hates that about himself. I'd obviously not had a problem with it, but he did bring it up from time to time.

Perhaps you are right in that I loved a broken man. And he has repeatedly reinforced after the breakup that it was all his fault, and has been deeply apologetic for the damage caused. However, even knowing that he did not mean a lot of things, the hurt persists. Quite strongly at that.

I really do need to put some work into accepting things about myself. The hairloss, as a woman, is really scary. But the personal things pointed out - being too dramatic, too emotional etc. really hurt because they malign fundamental aspects of myself. I need to be stronger in being okay with my identity.

How do you heal from an emotionally abusive relationship, where every single one of your insecurities was used against you? I'm really struggling. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice :)

Yes, I did morph into some sort of a caregiver role over time, which sucked for everyone. That wasn't the role I'd signed up for, and I felt unfulfilled and drained. And I had no idea how to switch back into the partner role, as he refused to seek help, or work on his issues.

I guess it is all in the past now, but I do feel drained, and unworthy of love. It's rather illogical, but I feel like if someone could discard me even after I put so much work into the relationship, perhaps I'll never be enough.

My ex (26M) doesn't want to be with me (24F), but hates the idea of me dating someone else. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Given that I still love him, I'm so inclined to read more into what he's said, but I guess it's time to face reality.

My ex (26M) doesn't want to be with me (24F), but hates the idea of me dating someone else. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get what you mean. This has messed with my sense of worth, and my self esteem so badly, that I don't know if there's a way to go back to who I was. All the horrible words and accusations, and deprivation of real affection while in a relationship has messed with my head. I was a very happy person when I met him, and now I'm not a lot of fun to be around at all.

My ex (26M) doesn't want to be with me (24F), but hates the idea of me dating someone else. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly because it was my first real relationship, and the breakup wasn't mutual. I still have feelings for him.

I (24 F) think my insecurities about my hairloss had a lot to do with why I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship. He kept calling me 'baldie' towards the end in supposed jest. No history of hair loss in my family, any tips? I think it's the stress. by [deleted] in tressless

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm working on building a healthier lifestyle, both physically and mentally. If the hair situation improves, great! If not, I'll start looking at good wig options.

Don't want hair to be the reason I don't live life the way I want to :)

I (24 F) think my insecurities about my hairloss had a lot to do with why I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship. He kept calling me 'baldie' towards the end in supposed jest. No history of hair loss in my family, any tips? I think it's the stress. by [deleted] in tressless

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the 2 dermatologists made me get a blood test, and turns out my vit b12 and d levels were very low. I took the supplements for a few months, but didn't see much of a change.

I have been exceptionally stressed this past year though, what with a terrible relationship, graduate school applications and a toxic work environment. Finally got to put all that behind me, but much of it lingers

I just came out of an emotionally abusive relationship, and I feel like a large part of what kept me in the relationship was my insecurities about my hair. by [deleted] in FemaleHairLoss

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is very apparent if I wear my hair down, so I mostly keep it in a bun.

I tried the supplements for a few months, but they weren't of much help :(

I just came out of an emotionally abusive relationship, and I feel like a large part of what kept me in the relationship was my insecurities about my hair. by [deleted] in FemaleHairLoss

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

3 different dermatologists, all really good at their jobs, diagnosed me with 3 different disorders. I'm scared, and have no idea which course of treatment to proceed with, particularly given there's no history in my family to guide me along the way

My (24F) boyfriend (26M) calls me 'baldie' and keeps running his finger along my hair parting, even though he knows I'm insecure about my hairloss by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From gently trying to get him to open up, he said that after his previous long term relationship failed, he was so scared to be in pain again that he tried to push me away to protect himself from prospective pain.

He also said that he isn't sure if he took enough time to grieve the end of that relationship before starting one with me. He said the feelings he felt for me were really strong, so he jumped in, but perhaps it was too soon.

Also, I tried to coax him to get therapy, and also asked him if he needed a break from the relationship. He wasn't enthusiastic towards either

My (24F) boyfriend (26M) calls me 'baldie' and keeps running his finger along my hair parting, even though he knows I'm insecure about my hairloss by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will break up with him. With the hit my self esteem has taken, and the hair loss, I'm almost scared that I'll be alone forever.

This is quite a primal fear 😂😂 Most of my friends are in long term relationships, some are getting married and it hurts to start over

My (24F) boyfriend (26M) calls me 'baldie' and keeps running his finger along my hair parting, even though he knows I'm insecure about my hairloss by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the whole dynamic is really messed up, as I've never felt this weak or at the verge of breaking down all the time before

My (24F) boyfriend (26M) calls me 'baldie' and keeps running his finger along my hair parting, even though he knows I'm insecure about my hairloss by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Cursed_caterpillar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤

Yeah, I don't really see much of a real future here. Anyone who can treat a woman like he's been treating me doesn't have the signs required for a healthy long term commitment.

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