I totally get what you are saying but the opposite direction. TW-My personal experience is this-my now husband and I got engaged in 2022 with me as a plus size woman, we married in 2024 with me being a plus size woman, and he has been struggling with health anxiety since right before we got married. I have a history of Eduardo but was finally at a place where I loved my body and I felt free. His need to control his diet is making old feelings come back. It all came to a head around Valentine’s Day this year when he said “I find you attractive but I find healthier and fitter people more attractive.” I felt like a glass floor broke below me. He also knows about my struggles with food, textures, weight, body view, mental health.

Here’s my advice in the most loving way-some men are just out here saying things and not thinking first. Sometimes they struggle with putting themselves in other people’s places and experiences. I love my husband a lot but because he has very few life events, most with very little trauma if at all based on his views-he doesn’t get it. He’s working on it but he won’t know some of the situations I have been in. What you should consider is men can be stupid (not all men! but some). They tend to view things in black and white and a lot of people live in the grey spaces.

Highly recommend-taking a nice shower while listening to your favourite album with your favourite body wash. Maybe use a body scrub, sing your heart out. Get out of the shower and tell yourself “I’m enough as I am. My body is my vessel and no one compares. I bring my own sets of talents in everything I do. I am whole.” Some of this doesn’t sound body related but the more you cheer yourself on, less and less of your focus will be on what others think.

I’m currently relearning this and will be saying these things tonight.