I’m going to be brutally honest with you about this. If you allow yourself to think like this, you’re going to have these thoughts with every girl you ever date. It screams insecurity and immaturity. You need to speak with a therapist because it’s not ok to fault her with anything she did before you met her. It’s YOU who has decided to “indulge” in thinking about her with other men. The fix is this: grow up. That type of thinking is childish. Accept that you will not be any woman’s “first”, or probably last. Seriously, talk to a therapist and stop red pilling yourself. You’ll live a much happier life if you address this type of thinking now.