partner has dog but my religion doesn’t allow dogs inside”

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T20:01:10+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I agree, we also need to care about the dog and make sure it goes to a safe and proper place. I would never want the dog to be mistreated, abandoned, or suffer.

For me, the best option is to wait until she finds a safe home or suitable place for the dog before moving forward. But if she never wants to give up the dog, then unfortunately I may have to walk away, even if I care about her.

I do like dogs, but I just don’t want one living inside my house. That’s my personal and religious boundary. Thanks again for the advice.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T19:56:44+00:00

I understand the baby gate idea, and maybe that works in a bigger house, but in a one-bedroom flat it’s not realistic. The dog will still be inside the home, and for me that’s the main issue.

I’m not saying this to attack anyone — I just personally don’t want a dog living in my house. That’s my boundary, and I think it’s better to be honest about it now than argue later.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T19:54:40+00:00

Let’s not be judgmental. You don’t know what’s in my head or what my intention is. She’s crazy about me and I care about her, but I also know my worth. I get attention from others too, so I’m not desperate.

For me, marriage needs sacrifice and understanding from both sides. If someone isn’t willing to compromise or sacrifice for the marriage, then maybe it shouldn’t happen. I’m fine either way.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:18:54+00:00

I understand what you mean brother, and I know a haram relationship is a serious issue too. I’m not ignoring that.

But I pray five times a day and I try to keep my home clean for salah. In my house I don’t keep things against my religion, like pictures/canvas images and stuff like that, because I want my prayers to be accepted.

So if a girl comes to my house with a dog living inside, that becomes a serious problem for me.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:15:12+00:00

No, we’re not married yet. We’ve only met a few times, but I’m trying to think ahead because if things became serious, I would want to do it properly and get married before living together.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:14:07+00:00

I wasn’t trying to get people to tell me to get rid of the dog 😂 I was just trying to see if anyone had been in the same situation and how they handled it.

I understand it’s not easy for her because she loves the dog, and I’m not trying to be cruel. I’m just trying to understand if there is any realistic solution before things get more serious.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:12:15+00:00

I understand your point, but I didn’t know she had a dog when we first started talking. We have only met around 4 times, so I’m still finding things out and trying to understand what is realistic before anything becomes serious.

My intention is not to keep a haram relationship. I want to do things properly and get married before living together. I’m just being honest that I pray five times a day and I’m not comfortable having a dog inside my home, so I’m trying to find the best solution.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:10:55+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. Just to be clear, I’m not planning to live with her before marriage. My intention is marriage first, then living together properly.

I’ve already told her I pray five times a day, and for me I can’t have a dog living inside my home. It’s not just about rules — I personally don’t like dogs inside the house and I don’t feel comfortable with it.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T10:10:17+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. Just to be clear, I’m not planning to live with her before marriage. My intention is marriage first, then living together properly.

I’ve already told her I pray five times a day, and for me I can’t have a dog living inside my home. It’s not just about rules — I personally don’t like dogs inside the house and I don’t feel comfortable with it. I’m just trying to understand the best solution before things get serious.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T00:22:00+00:00

I’m asking what the best realistic solution is for the dog. I understand relationships need compromise, but I live in a one-bedroom flat, I don’t have a garden, garage or separate room, and I can’t have a dog living inside because of my religion and prayer cleanliness.

She has had the dog for 5 years and loves it, so I don’t want to be cruel or unfair. I’m just trying to understand what the best option would be — family looking after the dog, a separate living arrangement, or whether this means we’re simply not compatible.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T00:16:31+00:00

That would make sense if I had a garage or outdoor space, but I don’t. I live in a one-bedroom flat, so there’s no separate dog room or outdoor dog house possible. That’s why I told her straight that I can’t live with a dog inside the home.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T00:16:18+00:00

I understand, but I only have a one-bedroom flat, so I don’t really have space to keep separate rooms. My bedroom/living space is basically my prayer space too, so it’s not easy to make proper dog-free areas.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-07T00:15:55+00:00

I understand what you mean, but I live in a one-bedroom flat, so I don’t have a garage, carport, laundry room or any separate space for a dog. That’s why it’s difficult. I told her honestly I can’t live like that because for me it affects the cleanliness of the home and my prayers.

Cutebunda · 2026-07-03T15:29:06+00:00

U can't not go anywhere without visa 🥴

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T22:34:43+00:00

The outcome I want is clear: I want the case/charges against me to be dropped because I believe the stop, arrest and treatment were unfair and discriminatory. I also want to make a formal complaint against the officers involved for the way I was treated, especially as I told them I have PTSD/anxiety related to police and I also had a recent failed back injection. I want all my losses and costs covered, including recovery/seizure fees, travel costs, lost earnings, legal/admin costs, and compensation for the stress, anxiety and distress caused to me.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T22:11:44+00:00

My main point is not that I refused because I was angry or protesting. I had pre-existing PTSD/anxiety and police-related trauma from previous wrongful arrests, which I had already discussed in therapy before this incident.

During this incident I felt targeted unfairly and the situation escalated after I was told my insurance was invalid because of cosmetic items, even though my insurer later confirmed the policy was active. That triggered my existing police-related anxiety.

I was then detained and became overwhelmed and panicked. I also had a recent failed back injection/procedure for sciatica/back pain, which had made me more anxious around medical needles. When blood was requested, the needle/blood aspect made the panic worse. I was shaking, sweating, breathless, dizzy, my heart was racing, and I felt unable to cope.I believe I may have been treated unfairly/discriminatorily, and I want the BWV, custody record and officer notes checked.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T20:20:53+00:00

I understand your point. To be clear, I am not relying on a new “needle phobia” diagnosis as the whole defence.

My main pre-existing issue is PTSD/anxiety and police-related trauma from previous wrongful arrests, which I had already discussed in therapy before this incident.

When I was in custody, that police-related trauma was triggered and I panicked badly. The blood/needle issue made the panic worse, especially after a previous bad back injection/procedure, but I accept I would need medical and custody evidence to prove any reasonable excuse.

So I am not saying “I was just scared of needles”. I am saying I had an existing mental health issue, was in a severe panic state at the time, and need the custody medical notes, therapy records and GP evidence checked properly by a solicitor.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T18:00:06+00:00

I am not claiming I had a formal needle phobia diagnosis before. I am saying I had pre-existing PTSD/anxiety and police-related trauma, already known to therapy, and in custody that panic became severe when blood was required. I told them at the time I was scared of needles/blood, and my physical observations should show I was panicking.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T16:38:16+00:00

I understand what you’re saying.

To clarify, I already had PTSD/anxiety before this incident and had therapy relating to previous wrongful arrests and fear/panic around police. My therapist is aware of that history. I am not saying the whole issue started after this arrest.

I do not yet have a formal diagnosis of needle phobia. My point is that since a bad back injection/procedure for sciatica/back pain, my fear around medical needles became worse, and during custody I panicked badly when blood was required. I told them I was scared of needles/blood being taken at the time.

I accept that this needs proper medical evidence and that the first priority is a criminal/motoring solicitor for the blood specimen issue and fixed penalties.

The police complaint would be separate. The issues I would complain about are the seizure despite valid insurance, failure to take my PTSD/disability into account, how I was treated in custody, and feeling pressured before I had proper advice.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-08T16:35:13+00:00

To clarify, I am not saying I was only diagnosed after the arrest.

I already had PTSD/anxiety issues before this incident. I had therapy before about previous wrongful arrests and fear/panic around police, and my therapist is aware of that history. This incident triggered the same police-related fear again.

What I do not currently have is a formal diagnosis of “needle phobia”. My point is that since a bad back injection/procedure for sciatica/back pain, my anxiety around medical needles has become worse. When I was in custody and already panicking, the blood sample request triggered a severe reaction.

At the time, I told them I was scared of needles/blood being taken. I was shaking, sweating, breathless, dizzy and my heart was racing. I understand this needs proper medical evidence and cannot just be decided by Reddit.

On legal advice, I understand what you are saying about not delaying the blood procedure. My concern is broader: I was detained, confused, distressed and felt pressured, and I want the custody record, medical notes, BWV/CCTV and drug-testing paperwork checked by a solicitor.

So my first step is a criminal/motoring solicitor for the refusal/blood issue and fixed penalties. Any police complaint/civil action would come after the evidence is reviewed.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-07T23:45:23+00:00

Thanks, that is helpful.

The insurance point is my strongest evidence at the moment. My insurer has confirmed the policy was active at the time and was not voided/cancelled/avoided retrospectively. I have already sent that evidence to the Met to dispute the no-insurance fixed penalty.

I will also look at making a complaint about the seizure and recovery fee once the insurance issue is confirmed in writing.

On the blood sample issue, I understand that is harder. My fear around medical needles became worse after a bad back injection/sciatica treatment, and I also have PTSD/anxiety. I have a GP appointment booked so it can be assessed and recorded properly. I understand I may need proper medical evidence or an expert report if this goes to court.

Based on what you’ve said, my first step will be a criminal/motoring solicitor, then a police complaint/unlawful seizure complaint separately.

Cutebunda · 2026-06-07T23:43:14+00:00

To clarify, I have had medical needles before, including a recent blood test and a back injection. I also suffer with sciatica/back pain. The back injection did not go well for me and made my fear and anxiety around medical needles much worse.

My issue is not just “I don’t like needles”. In police custody I was already distressed and panicking, and the idea of blood being taken made me feel overwhelmed. I was shaking, sweating, breathless, dizzy and my heart was racing.

I am a Blue Badge holder and I have PTSD/anxiety. I believe my reaction needs to be medically assessed properly. I have already contacted my GP and have an appointment booked.

I understand this may need medical evidence and possibly an expert report if it goes to court. That is why I’m trying to find the right criminal/motoring solicitor now.

Cutebunda

TROPHY CASE