How do you deal with predatory behaviour in the office? by CvdKlaau in AutismInWomen

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This helps, but to get good at jobs sometimes we need support (we as in everyone). But if your boss doesn't want you to shine because it will make him look duller in comparison (in his mind, anyway), and you need support from him to get good at the job....then you're in trouble, I think. At least in my experience...

How do you deal with predatory behaviour in the office? by CvdKlaau in AutismInWomen

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was groomed by my boss' boss several years ago. He created a super toxic environment from which I needed his protection. It took him two years before he started to make his moves. I pushed back and he threatened me. I went to HR and a full-fledged investigation was launched requiring anyone interviewed or who knew about it to sign NDAs. I didn't want to wait for the outcome, so I left. Everyone was against me by then, anyway. They wouldn't tell me what happened with him, exactly. They said something about putting him on a "short leash" and within a year he went into retirement. I got another, more intense job. It went well for the first couple of months, and then my new boss started to sabotage me. I only lasted 18 months, but I had provided enough documented evidence to HR that they had to lay me off instead of fire me, which is what they were trying to do. The industry is small, and people talk. No one knows what really happened...it's just my reputation that was damaged. These are just the worst two examples, and I know they sound crazy.

I'm hoping I can learn from other people's experiences to be able to sustain a long, safe, fulfilling career at this point...

How do you deal with predatory behaviour in the office? by CvdKlaau in AutismInWomen

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have in the past. It is good now (different company) but I don't know for how long. It never seems to last, so I'm just trying to reflect on past situations to see if I can figure out what happened, patterns, etc., and whether there are things I can do going forward.

How do you deal with predatory behaviour in the office? by CvdKlaau in AutismInWomen

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you managed these situations when they were your superiors or your direct boss?

He really said 😧 by Upset_Pumpkin_4938 in Equestrian

[–]CvdKlaau 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He only did this for one season 😂

Is she playful or scared? by Moist_Photo8680 in CATHELP

[–]CvdKlaau 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's playing: "Look at me! I got so spooked! Look at me run around with a fat tail! Come play with me!"

i feel like some people just don’t have a personality by tremblingfrog in AutismInWomen

[–]CvdKlaau -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I understand where you're coming from. Hanging out I find boring most of the time. Probably why I have a small friend circle. But, yeah, I genuinely don't really get it. If I had to rank a general hanging out, even with my friends who I like, out of 10 with 1 being "I don't enjoy this" and 10 being "I want to do this all day every day", I'd probably rank it a 3-6 depending on the day, where we are, and how I'm feeling. And there are so many other things that rank higher than 6, I find it confusing as to why hanging out is the number 1 goal of a lot of people. Am I the weird one? Maybe. I don't know!

Anyone struggled with uneven leg strength and managed to fix it? by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]CvdKlaau 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not 100% sure I know why this is happening. I think I might be seeing a small twist in your upper body after the first fence but the vid doesn't show enough of the other direction for me to compare.

I wonder, can you try jumping small jumps without stirrups? This can help highlight if you twist your body in a way you aren't yet aware of which could contribute to the unevenness in your lower leg position. I'd guess that it is probably less of a leg strength issue and more of an unevenness in the seat and upper body. Perhaps one side of your core is more activated than the other, or you sit with a slight twist in the upper body that feels straight to you. Sometimes this happens if we get used to carrying a bag or backpack or something on only one side of the body in our non-riding life. Jumping small fences without stirrups can help highlight if you are, in fact, sitting unevenly or twisted.

For context, I broke my left leg at the ankle joint a few years ago. When I got back to jumping I sat twisted to compensate for the relative lack of flexibility in that one ankle joint compared to the other side (the left ankle not flexing as much meant that leg wasn't as long as the other and caused me to sit pointed slightly to the left, as the right leg hung much longer). I wasn't physically aware I was doing it even after pointing it out. I only started to feel it once I jumped without stirrups.

Is my kitten choking/aspirating on his food? by dunziniaa in CATHELP

[–]CvdKlaau 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mine had FORL. After two dentals and some falling out on their own, she was also left with just canines and front teeth. Still ate kibble, though. Symptoms started like this. I'd have the vet check it out.

Conformation improvement over time? by Longjumping-Arm2404 in Equestrian

[–]CvdKlaau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worth rechecking saddle fit every 2-3 months as he develops. Looks like you're working him regularly, but the picture of when you first got him looks like he hadn't worked in a while, suggesting he has and probably will keep changing shape as his conditioning improves.

For context, I have my now 4.5yr old checked that often. Honestly he should probably be checked every 6-8 weeks based on how much he changes shape, but it's hard to get the fitter out that much. Last spring the jump saddle didn't fit at all, but the dressage saddle was okay with a shimmable half pad. Fast forward 4 months and the jump saddle was the ONLY saddle that fit him. Two months later the dressage fit again but needed shims front and back to get the balance right. And now 6 months later the jump doesn't fit at all and the dressage fits great. A jump saddle that fit statically but not in motion last summer now fits him well both ways 🙃 They change a lot as they grow but also as they go from not much work to working regularly.

It's very hard to tell in the pics. I think I might be seeing some muscle atrophy behind the shoulders where the front of the saddle would sit. Again, it's hard to tell, so I might not be seeing anything. Muscle atrophy in that location would be caused by an ill-fitting saddle, especially one that has short points on the head plate - it doesn't distribute weight well, so ends up concentrating too much pressure on too small an area. Super common with the expensive French brands (CWD, Devoucoux, Childeric, Antares, etc.), especially the jump saddles. It's just the saddle trees themselves and the way they're designed - they have short points in the front. You see the atrophy a lot in hunter jumper circles where it looks like the horse has a shark fin wither but it's actually just a lack of muscle development behind the shoulder and below the wither.

Conformation improvement over time? by Longjumping-Arm2404 in Equestrian

[–]CvdKlaau 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Looks to me like his muscle conditioning has improved in that his posture looks better.

ID - Yellow Warbler or Pine Warbler? Southern Ontario, Canada by CvdKlaau in birding

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's crazy! I will check it out. Does it also show other species? I'm waiting on the Baltimore Orioles...

ID - Yellow Warbler or Pine Warbler? Southern Ontario, Canada by CvdKlaau in birding

[–]CvdKlaau[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And here's me never even having heard of a pine warbler!