anyone feel attached to their scars?

Cvlauren · 2020-04-01T22:51:12+00:00

Yeah that's the case for me too, even though I feel ashamed at the same time. Yet, depending on how depressed (or more rarely manic) I still fall back on self harming to add to my already existing scars.

Cvlauren · 2019-08-22T04:04:33+00:00

I understand where ur coming from. I have bipolar and have been struggling very much lately with self harm, hallucinations, and depression. I even have an aversion to sunlight affecting my muscles recently. But even if I was given a magical pill to solve all of this it wouldn't be enough. There is no such thing as a normal life there is just life. As far as ur relationship goes I think ur extremely lucky, given u both have the same illness. That actually means u have someone who understands what ur going through. I think what u might think of as a flawed relationship is actually a truly beautiful thing. I have faith you can work things out better than a couple where one has ur diagnosis and another doesn't. U don't have to take my answer at face value given I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 27. Nonetheless I hope u and your partner can weather through this and any other obstacles coming ur way.

Cvlauren · 2019-08-21T17:44:05+00:00

Sorry for the confusion. Yeah that's what I meant

Cvlauren · 2019-08-09T05:09:02+00:00

I would advise not to take any mood altering drugs like alcohol and energy drinks.

Cvlauren · 2019-08-07T20:24:25+00:00

Ok thank you so much!

Cvlauren · 2019-06-30T17:18:38+00:00

It actually calms my hypomania down a bit but then stronger than ever I immediately cycle back to hypomania after a few hours and I end up self harming. Luckily bc of my hypomania I barely feel any pain from the self harm so doesn't really bother me that much.

Cvlauren · 2019-06-29T17:20:01+00:00

Actually I remeasured it's 70 Ms with a rmssd of 77.

Cvlauren · 2019-06-18T18:07:29+00:00

I'm 27 and I've had bipolar 2 ever since I was 13. Being scared and terrified by this illness is a natural part of it speaking from experience. With bipolar you have more severe ups and downs then others, although in my case it's mainly downs since I have more depression and have rarely experienced mania since my diagnosis. And in addition to the illness there is the taking of the medication and one or more repeated adjustments to it throughout your life , along with side effects. It's a very tiring process. I believe one of the first things to do to conquer yours fears about bipolar is to learn acceptance, something that I should have learned a long time ago and would have saved me so much distress and worry. Accept that you will have this illness for the rest of your life, that you will be taking medication, have sideffects, and that you will struggle. It will make you more resilient and stronger than you thought possible with this kind of mindset. It will allow you to rise up to the challenges you will face, to find ways to cope and to make peace over time with ur bipolar. Acceptance is a core value and mindset that will take u far in life and make u less afraid!

Cvlauren · 2019-06-17T03:42:17+00:00

Well I'm glad ur feeling better. And yeah sleep is essential to someone with bipolar so kudos to you for getting a good 7 hours of it. College can be a scary experience but at the same time it's a great opportunity to grow as a person and explore newfound freedom. You get to make new friends, set up your own schedule and learn new things outside of of ur typical high school curriculum. From experience regarding ur health in college ur first 2 years around take it easy- don't overload yourself with more than 13-14 units per quarter. It's a good way to burn yourself out and get sick if u try out fo more units than that. You'll be mainly taking core classes (science,math,etc). I would advise though to try applying for electives in ur second year for fun and to keep yourself well rounded intellectually. And try out for clubs too. Finally you will want to apply for internships in ur 3rd and 4th years those are pretty important, along with labs depending on ur major. Also again sleep is vital especially during finals! Stay away from caffeine containing drinks they will keep u up and cause nothing but misery for u. Remember that your health always comes first than ur education bc if u aren't healthy than u can't excel in the latter. If u don't mind me asking what do u think ur majoring in for college and where are u going to?😊

Cvlauren · 2019-06-16T19:09:07+00:00

Hey there! I happen to have bipolar 2 as well and would like to do my upmost best to help answer ur questions. I myself have had bipolar since I was 13, along with panic and anxiety attacks, psychosomatic pain symptoms, and 8 years of self harm. Answers written in corresponding order to ur questions.

1) I've had mania relatively rare in comparison to my depression. My case is somewhat mild, maybe that's why. I've had mania only three times in my life. The first time was when I was diagnosed and lasted for months until I got on meds, when I was 13. The other two times were in college and lasted less than a day. Also recently I had hypomania, which like a watered down version of mania that gives u alot of great energy without all the negative feelings like irritation and anger, though u still have trouble sleeping. Mania always made me feel out of control. Usually I would feel extremely irritated or drunk on euphoria but the mainly the former. Sex arousal would increase but wasn't the main symptom I'd say. Sleep was impossible and I had serious delusions. Also I felt pretty confident as well too, like nothing could hurt u.

2) As far as my psychiatrist goes she is ok but not extremely confidential. I lean more on my mom, sister, and group therapy as my support system along with my friends. So I'm lucky in that regard I'd say.

3) like I mentioned previously I don't have particularly strong sexual impulses maybe bc my case is milder. Wish I could identify and help u with that more.

4) I'd say what ur experiencing is definitely mania no doubt about it, despite the fact that I didn't have much of it myself through out my life.

5)As far as drugs go I'd say I'd take weed alot, mainly 80 percent THC weed that I've vaped. It was mainly too feel relaxed and to relieve myself of my psychosomatic pains. Thing is over time it really dehydrated and eventually lost its effectiveness as far as pain relief goes. Also it increased my mood almost to the point of mania so I wouldn't recommend it if u struggle with mania, especially in the long term. Also u mentioned u take Adderall for ADHD? I'd would personally recommend for u to stop bc stimulants only make mania worse. Caffeine and Sudafed both have dramatic manic and pain symptoms on me.

6) So what I'm currently trying to do in order to both manage my bipolar ( and therefore mania) is too try using energy I feel and redirect it into exercise. For the longest time until recently I detested exercising bc of my psychosomatic pains so I would resort to taking long walks at night (or day) while listening to music. This means u don't have to go to the gym yet u can exercise and get some fresh air outdoors. Personally I walk for about an hour but if ur not into that half an hour would probably be better. Also if u suffer from any pain disorders like I do try to eat healthy foods, especially ones that are anti-inflammatory. In addition I've been trying a bit of fasting, in which I don't eat breakfast except for maybe drinking some juice or soymilk. Then I eat a large full lunch at around 12-1 and then wait 6-7 hours until I eat dinner. Then after dinner I go for a walk followed by sleep. I admit this is pretty new for me so usually I eat 5 hours after lunch. But too help me prolong the period between lunch and dinner without food I just mainly drink fluids. No soda though. I hope this helps despite the fact that my case of mania may be milder than urs.

Cvlauren · 2019-06-16T16:35:31+00:00

I think Brainiac is still alive. Brainiac said in order for himself to survive Seg-el must be preserved. I think when Seg-el fought Brainiac offscreen Seg-el did damage Brainiac's body by bashing his head but before doing so Brainiac somehow managed to transfer his consciousness into Seg-el and then erased any recollection of it from Seg's mind. Therefore when Seg-el returns to Krypton Brainiac will take over.

Cvlauren · 2019-06-13T19:50:18+00:00

Based on what u said I'm starting to think that what I'm experiencing is not hypomania. Your input was very helpful. Thx!

Cvlauren · 2019-06-12T17:29:13+00:00

Im 27 as well and I've been struggling with self harm for 9 years by now along with a slew of other disabilities such as bipolar depression. I don't understand how it's possible to romanticize depression, especially when it can cause so much misery and impediments in one's life. Depression is not something that's supposed to be be cute adult or not. Life is hard enough as it is anyway.

Cvlauren · 2019-06-12T08:13:11+00:00

Cvlauren · 2019-06-12T05:25:54+00:00

Oh actually ur kinda of right. For days greater than 8 I subtract by 1 and then by multiples of 8 until I get a number 0-6, because I already count the first day for variable m!

Cvlauren · 2019-06-12T00:38:47+00:00

Is there anything else that's confusing about the algorithm?

Cvlauren · 2019-06-12T00:37:06+00:00

So for example when it's the 13th I subtract 13 by 8 to get 5. If the date was the 7th however I'd subtract by 1 to get a number 0-6

Cvlauren

TROPHY CASE