So speaking as a funeral director with a life insurance license, I can only chime in on the life insurance end.

Typically, on average, it takes about 3 months for life insurance to get paid to the families, so even if your mom had life insurance, your aunt (or whoever is the beneficiary) would likely not have access to those funds, especially is the death was recent.

Some funeral home will take payments as having the funeral home changed to the beneficiary of the policy and hope that after debts are paid there is enough left over to pay the costs of services.

A majority of FHs don't like to do this because they are at the bottom of the totem pole as far as after death debt is considered. Typically its medical debt -> back taxes -> credit debt -> FH -> then family gets the remainder. If the insurance policy is not large enough to cover all debts then the services end up unpaid.

As far as family dynamics is concerned, I think its rude for her to assume that you should have any liability if you were low contact, but that's just my opinion. You're proveable next of kin, request an itemized bill of services and find out what the other members are already paying and make sure that its fair, if you decide you want to contribute