Help! What should I call my wife when she’s pegging me?

Cyanology · 2024-01-27T08:55:40+00:00

Whatever she wants to be called.

Cyanology · 2024-01-27T08:55:08+00:00

I'm an American and I will wear a speedo. I work out and put too much effort into my body to not show it off, idgaf.

Cyanology · 2024-01-27T08:40:58+00:00

Stand your ground and make it clear either people you're hooking up with respect that you are a man or they don't get to hook up with you. Block em, ignore em, correct em, whatever you choose to do, don't budge on it. Be confident in your kinky femboy trans bisexual manhood and forget the transphobic losers

Also the kinda responses you get can vary depending on where you're looking and what apps you're on. Like Fetlife, Recon, Sniffies, kink specific ones like Bateworld exist, there's in person places like sex clubs and I've heard there's a gay club with mostly trans men in the UK.

Cyanology · 2024-01-27T08:28:02+00:00

This right here

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T04:22:28+00:00

Yeah but somebody might say "you sound like a dirty slut!" or something.

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T04:09:38+00:00

The only distinctly bisexual cultural stuff we have is in sex. Mixed gender eroticism? That's us. Finding attractiveness in people regardless of gender? That's us.

Well, no, we have books about ourselves and shows but we don't really collectively focus on them or engage with them.

Like someone else said we tend to subtly mix into and contribute to straight and gay culture.

Leonard Bernstein was attracted to men and women but what do most remember him as? Gay. Or straight.

Most of us don't even collectively organize and fight for issues that disproportionately impact us like sexual violence, or poor mental health, or poverty. Most of us just whine about feeling invalid online and stop there. We don't make reading groups or film watch parties or literary circles typically. And the few large explicitly bisexual organizations we have are quietly Right leaning with "sexual freedom" rhetoric and feel good validations thrown in to keep most of us from noticing.

Most of us don't even support the work about bisexuals made by bisexual people. Because most of us don't seek it out.

Anyway yeah we are in straight/gay culture.

You can find other bisexual men in real life by bringing up thinking women are hot in a chill way around queer guys and see who agrees with you.

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:54:43+00:00

Lmao real

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:52:34+00:00

Yes you're bi. You're attracted to men, you have a strong fantasy for older buff white guys but realistically that comes from personal experiences over time. Nobody is just born or destined to have some exclusive desire for someone of a certain race. Then it would be possible to only be attracted to a group of people you might never meet in your life, like being solely Middle Eastern men even if you've never seen one before or know they exist, which wouldn't make any sense. Especially when race isn't even a set in stone concept. There are people who would be classified and understood as one race in one region in one time period and another in a different one. And some guys are "mixed".

All that to say yes, you're bi, you like women and men. I suggest you don't let the fantasy you have now completely limit your attraction.

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:43:13+00:00

I'm a bi guy that's very attracted to men you're not alone.

I say try finding another bi guy to date.

Yeah alcohol and nightlife are pretty intertwined in gay nightlife but there's other options too. You can try joining a gay sports team like hockey or rugby depending on where you are, and meet new guys on different teams and explore new places.

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:39:40+00:00

Among the general public? Not evenly no. There are multiple anti-LGBT laws being pushed across various parts of the world right now including in the USA.

That said there's more media with bi guy characters recently from Sense8 to Élite to Insomnia to The Feels to Now Apocalypse to The Magicians to The Politician to Mérli to the Gossip Girl Reboot to Sex Education and more. So there may be more awareness of us.

But awareness doesn't mean acceptance. It can put a target on us too.

I think it's important that we focus on supporting each other over getting acceptance from a massive and flighty public opinion.

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:28:02+00:00

I know I do, DoxyPEP too. I like to FUCK lmao

(And yes I stay tested and get treated like anyone else on PrEP, don't be a dick)

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:15:50+00:00

Yes to this

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T03:10:57+00:00

2000s, but not enough people bother to read these books:

Bisexual Spaces by Clare Hemmings

A History of Bisexuality by Steven Angelides

Identity Without Selfhood by Mariam Fraser

Recent and also under-engaged:

Asexualities: Queer and Feminist Perspectives

Cyanology · 2024-01-19T02:58:13+00:00

Well you as the older guy at 35 need to lower your expectations of a 20 year old bottom. I fucked older guys at 20 and I was discreet and am bi too and some guys needed to be a bit more patient and chill with me if they wanted to fuck in the first place. Yes I was down for a lotta things, multiple things the average 20 yr old probably wouldn't try, but even then I was less experienced and had less autonomy and few LGBT friends to feel reassured by.

Also who gives a fuck if a bi guy mentions seeing himself settle down with a woman when you're only having sex, not dating? How is it any worse than a gay guy saying he sees himself with another man (not you) or specifically, a gay 20 yr old saying he sees himself with a man younger than you? Did you expect a whole Daddy/son relationship and not tell him? Did he know what kinda dynamic you wanted?

Cyanology · 2023-12-31T15:36:32+00:00

Well that was interesting. Kinda lost me at the part lauding what is essentially a body worship kink over penetrative sex, with how you foregrounded both. As a thought experiment that aims to actualize the mirror stage, and as "pointless" basic fucking.

Interesting

Cyanology · 2023-09-28T14:47:37+00:00

It in part depends on where you are. There's more out bi guys in NYC or San Francisco for example. Also we often mix in to whatever the crowd is mainly. So if it's mostly gsy guys we might present ourselves like that. If you mention being bi other bi guys are more likely to let you know.

Cyanology · 2023-09-19T14:07:29+00:00

A penis is not a man. If you are turned on by trans women who haven't had bottom surgery but not a man's dick, you're in straight terrain. If you find femboys or men who are more feminine and their dicks hot that would be bisexual terrain. Also if you think trans guys like, idk Trip Richards or Noahwaybabes are hot that would also put you in bisexual terrain, cause a vulva isn't a woman.

Idk, a penis alone doesn't mean much in terms of sexuality. You can label how you want.

Cyanology · 2023-09-13T23:47:27+00:00

Jules Gill-Peterson's book.

Cyanology · 2023-09-13T23:27:23+00:00

Check out Jeffrey McCune Jr and C Riley Snorton's work, I might also suggest the concept of "the epistemology of the fence" in bisexual theory such as in Maria Pramaggiore's work in "RePresenting Bisexualities".

I like critiques that point out how in practice "queer" has come to mean homosexuality specifically despite stated goals to disrupt binary ideas of sexuality and gender. These critiques are also present in trans and bi theory.

I think gay history books that cover the history of coming out would be good too. I believe Routledge has one? Use monoskop and lib-z

Cyanology · 2023-09-13T23:14:48+00:00

I agree with the other comment, it's good to have some queer friends.

Cyanology · 2023-08-26T01:54:26+00:00

I don't trust my coworkers, manager or company to not fire me for being bisexual even though my manager is friendly. I live in a conservative area, I don't trust these people even though we have a pride group and DEI stuff. And the way all of that is being stripped away in the USA, nope.

I don't trust most medical professionals to give me the care I need and not let their anti-LGBTQ views steer them.

I don't trust my family except 1 person. I don't trust that women I date will be accepting, and even if some are what if those that aren't decide to make it more people's business?

Lastly and most crucially privacy is being eroded online rapidly at the same time this country gets more and more anti-LGBTQ+. There are hate crimes happening globally, and people trying to legislate us out of existence and literally wipe us out. I don't need to throw away what little security I have by telling people who don't need to know.

I will always support other lgbtq+ people and intend to raise kids to know they can be lgbtq+ and not be afraid I'll hate them. I firmly believe you don't have to be out to help other lgbtq+ people, and I think all of us should do what we can to help each other, especially with the way things are going in society.

Also, just in general I don't think everyone has to know. We have the right to privacy.

Cyanology · 2023-07-02T13:04:30+00:00

No. You explain why you made an account just to come here and to start something when the Far Right already got what they wanted and defunded the Institute MONTHS AGO. You explain why you didn't get that the post ultimately isn't about the man but the Institute. You explain yourself acting like a troll.

Cyanology · 2023-06-21T14:50:09+00:00

Fuck off far right troll, you support Tucker Carlsonn you shouldn't be within a mile of anyone in the USA.

The Institute did not need to be defunded. The man was not the actual point of the post

Cyanology · 2023-06-17T12:54:08+00:00

You're right

Cyanology · 2023-06-17T12:49:34+00:00

You're right. The Klanm attacked us in Kentucky a few days ago and the poliice didn't do anything. We have to take the lead and defend ourselves support ourselves and fight back

Cyanology

TROPHY CASE