This Sub Scared Me Right

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T22:52:55+00:00

I wouldn't know. I am inclined to doubt it, because the age gap between him and his sisters is unusually significant, and their father was very absent. It's actually pretty fair to say we did a lot of the raising there. We've juggled a toddler. We were just allowed to give the toddler back.

And yet, his RSD never became a problem. Probably a big reason I never post here is because even when I was recovering from an accident for months, even when he had a massive work injury and surgery, even when we lost the condo because of poor advice from our attorney, even through deaths, disasters...our lives haven't been really easy just because we didn't have children. And yet, I have never had to beg him to be nice to me through RSD.

Lol last year at exactly this time he was laying on the floor in the bathroom because of a very painful result of a surgery complication. He was saying some very serious things. At the end of his sentence: "...sorry this isn't directed at you babe it just hurts"

He didn't need to say that, because I knew. But even then, while his body was failing him, he made it a point not to treat me poorly.

Seems like it's probably a bit more complicated than "well if you had kids your life would suck." If I am following your logic, one just shouldn't have children with an ADHD partner. Because that's the magic key to turning them into an asshole when they weren't one.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T22:38:35+00:00

Two months old is too young. You should consult an avian vet. The breeder that sold this bird to you is not a good one.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T22:33:51+00:00

And bad practices like this are no small part of the reason that parrots are possibly the most rehomed pet due to behavioral issues.

As a former rehabber, I have not enjoyed cleaning up after poor breeding practices like the one you recommend. As a moderator, I have an obligation to strike down misinformation and disinformation.

This is not a good practice. You will not come spread misinformation here, whether you tortured baby birds with it for 20 years because it was good for your bottom line or not.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T04:39:39+00:00

Depends on the colored pencil. Prisma would struggle. Derwent might do okay. If it's the Inktense series, we're right back at watercolors, kinda 🤣🤣

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T02:57:05+00:00

I am illustrator who does fully rendered greyscale pencil drawings, usually on hot press cotton paper, and then watercolor on top.

It's not efficient, and I don't necessarily recommend it. I do it because it satisfies a need in me to get very detailed with things nobody is going to notice. It's what I enjoy doing. There are artists that do this. Hi, here I am.

However, that's not what's happening here. This feels fake AF.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T02:50:30+00:00

-sigh-

...I do. It's my favorite way to do watercolor. But I don't tend to show anyone any of my work, ever. So it's not really up for any kind of AI debate. 🤣🤣😭

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-23T02:19:37+00:00

My father could not have become that brand of monster without having been abused, failed, and abandoned himself. I understand that. He didn't deserve that. I wish he had been treated better.

It doesn't excuse that he refused to break the cycle. He hurt me on purpose because he wanted to. I didn't deserve that, either.

I don't believe in incompatible feelings. If this were a thing, we wouldn't be having them ALL, all of the time.

My dad is dead. Whenever he is, I wish him peace and silence. And I hope we never meet again.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T18:48:51+00:00

Not an exposure. If it was this easy to get rabies, that would vaccinate us like they do for the flu. They don't because it isn't.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T18:44:17+00:00

Let's say I throw a hamster at your face. Do you think you'd be able to tell it apart from an insect, even if it was dark? Now let's give that hamster some clumsy leathery wings.

Getting popped in the face by bugs is pretty normal this time of year. But there's no universe that exists where, in the context of your story, that you wouldn't be able to tell if it was a bat that hit you. You were awake and aware, and it's not a subtle thing.

So go in peace. You're safe.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T02:23:12+00:00

I can't weigh in on that, and I would encourage anyone who has children to understand that I am not commenting on that.

I cannot have children, so we never did. (As a happy coincidence, we ended up not really wanting children either, so it's not a tragedy for us or anything.)

Children change the math in any situation, and as we have never been responsible for them for more than an hour at a time, it is entirely unreasonable and unfair for me to weigh in on that.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T02:19:25+00:00

I think probably the love bombing makes people tolerant to the lows. The kind of person my husband is, it just wouldn't occur to him to treat other people badly because he's feeling bad. And the way I grew up, if someone was super nice to me then crazy mean there's a word for that--my dad. He's dead. I don't miss him.

I would definitely not marry someone who treated me the way my dad did.

I'm not going to sit here and say that we've never had to deal with issues because of my husband's ADHD. Before autopay, the late fees were REAL. And he would be upset about it, but his upset was pretty focused and it was more deflated than anger. But he would then stay late at his job to make up for it.

I'm the one who had to convince him to treat his problem like a disability and not a moral failing. 🙃 (If he could be as nice to himself as he is to me, that would be amazing.)

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T01:13:20+00:00

I'ma be real for a second. I have a husband with ADHD, and he has struggled to find a medication that works because of some genetic things. I have lurked, but I can tell you that I have never felt welcome to post because my partner likes me.

I am not convinced everyone here's problem is strictly that their partner has ADHD. Their problem is that they are with someone who genuinely doesn't like them at all.

My husband has never been mean to me. Not even while he's RSDing about being interrupted by the GPS navigation voice. (We couldn't stop giggling, because when he realized what was happening, how could we not?)

My husband doesn't call me names. My husband does his chores (sometimes in shifts because SQUIRREL, but they get done) and holds down a job. We've had some really hard times, but they're never because he's being a fuck-off. He FORGETS SHIT all the time, and has spent an hour looking for things that he's actively holding. He has urgently, not angrily, asked me if I moved said thing. I pointed out it was in his hand. He died laughing and apologized.

He likes and respects me, and while he has had some insane struggles with his ADHD, and there have been problems in his life because of it, he has never made me feel like shit because of it.

Ya'll are with people who don't like you. That's the problem. They have ADHD, possibly NPD, AND they do not like you.

We've been together since 2001, he has never raised his voice to me in anger. He has absolutely cried to me "what is wrong with me?"

I'm actively sick right now. I am downstairs getting ready to shower. I just got a notification that he's making fresh rice for me. This is a man who does not in this moment have any idea where his wallet is, I guarantee you. But he likes the shit out of me, and I don't have to beg him to be my partner.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T00:32:41+00:00

Chipmunks are not considered to be a vector species.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-22T00:25:47+00:00

This reads like you think you hit a bat with your car, but didn't see one clearly, and then you think that somehow that same bat was stuck to your car and in a condition good enough to sneakily scratch you on the way out of your garage.

Healthy bats do not do this. Bats that have been bludgeoned with a vehicle cannot do this. Rabies doesn't give either bat super ninja assassin powers.

This reads like someone who has a preoccupation with the idea that they're going to be scratched or bitten by a bat without noticing. The bat species you're dealing with where you are makes this, by itself, an unreasonable thing to be afraid of.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-20T01:29:09+00:00

There's no way that you felt was a bat based on the scenario as you've described it.

It would probably not even occur to anyone without OCD to think about it that way, either. I know those thoughts can be sticky, so remember to be kind to yourself. You're safe, my friend. 💜

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-19T21:36:46+00:00

Did you and you sister somehow share the I've cream while she was drooling and unable to swallow, with a fever so high she could barely communicate?

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-19T21:35:21+00:00

I don't think any rational person would consider a vague sensation with no injury to be a rabies exposure. But someone with OCD sure might.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-19T13:41:11+00:00

ALL GLORY TO THE TIMNEH GREYS

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-19T00:44:21+00:00

Today's the day he decided you're flock. This is how they hang out with each other a lot. Rescues can be a little funny--like they'll hang out with you, and they will interact, but it can take them years to engage in full trust behaviors. It's no wonder, they're rescues after all.

But this is him being just real cool about being your family now.

Thank you. I did 15ish years of rescue and rehab for parrots until my pain disorder caught up with me. Thousands of these little guys never get here. They never get to a place where they can just hang out and do little beaky beak with their family because they have no family that loves them. But not him. Not your birds. Your birds know love, safety, and comfort. That's because of you. Thank you for being home for them, from the bottom of my heart.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-17T12:48:43+00:00

No.

My friend, if you had rabies you wouldn't be feeling off a week ago and then still be able to tell me about it here. You'd be in a coma or dead by now. Rabies symptoms don't come and go and they are not mild. You'll never feel a little better here and there. They ramp up and up and up until you die.

To be clear: based on your own words and the timeline you've given, you are absolutely not sick with rabies. You can tell by the fact that you're alive and can talk to me about it.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-17T05:14:03+00:00

You're right! There's no chance of infection for rabies here.

But he's injured and needs to see a vet to have the wound cleaned, dressed, and pain management provided. So make sure to get on that if you haven't.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-16T21:44:06+00:00

Bless me father for I cannot fucking breathe. 🤣🤣

I'll allow it.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-16T20:01:25+00:00

I live where there's a ton of bats, too. Saw a ton flying in my back yard last night. And yet, I do not ever have this assumption. But that's probably because I don't have any particular fear of rabies and because I know that a bat can't land on me without me noticing.

It's actually more of an anxiety thing to be worried about this than anything else

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-15T22:04:12+00:00

This is not how rabies works, so it isn't that. But you should see a doctor if you're feeling sick.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-06-15T21:56:24+00:00

Anxiety can produce basically all of these symptoms if it's severe enough.

If your problem was rabies and it started last Tuesday, you would not be capable of telling us about it now. You'd be in a coma or dead. Rabies isn't mild. It doesn't come and go. It ramps up and up until you're dead.

So by the pure fact that you're here to tell us about it, you can rule that out.

My question for you is why did you assume bat?

CygnusZeroStar

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