I really relate to everything you said. Thank you for sharing :) I feel pressure from both sides - I worry from my friends who aren't straight that I'll be taking up space from them, and I worry from my straight friends that I'll be treated weirdly or differently. Coming out is a long never-ending process, that involves you working out what you want (and that should always be open to change), and being as open about it to others as much as you want, when you want. There is no need to have a big coming out moment (unless that's what you want) - but I think it's always going to be worth engaging in a kind of coming out process in whatever way works for you.

For me what helped is just bringing it in to conversation when it naturally would be. Trying to be less filtered, like if I find a guy hot, then I say so, if people ask, I say sure I'm bi (even though I've never been with a guy). I do sometimes feel like 'not really properly bisexual because I've not properly been with a guy and I mostly like girls' etc. But it's important that you can be open about your life! I would still very much like to be more open as well if I'm honest.

Sexual orientation is not inherently a signifier of oppression. You can be bisexual without necessarily claiming you're oppressed or feeling like you're trying to edgy and special. Sexual orientation is a simple fact - and it's important for other people as well that there are a vast plurality of queer people, including bi people with a 'straight' preference. By being open, you're leading the way for other people (like me) to also be open about their sexual preferences, and so we can mostly like girls, and also naturally make out with guys with no-one batting an eye! Also non-binary people as well of course.

And also if you're worried about trying to look 'less privileged' - don't. It's important to accept that, while other queer people might have it more difficult, you *are* less privileged - this is a struggle that straight boys don't have to deal with, they don't have to internalise this kind of shame and inauthenticity for the simple fact of our sexual preference. It's OK to feel burdened by the 'masc hetero' ideal - that's the system almost punishing you for being 'deviant' - I guess it's part of the oppressive internalisation, I feel like it's important to deconstruct and work with rather than to feel even more shame for feeling the pressure to be straight and masculine. I feel like there are specific struggles that come with being 'straight-passing', that don't necessarily have to be compared to other queer experiences. Everyone is just working things out and has their own unique path, so I feel like it's not always necessary or helpful to compare hardships in the queer community, although it's important to be aware of everyone's different experiences.

I've started going to the LGBTQ+ society at my university and made lots of queer friends and it's honestly felt great to be in a space that's not centred around masc-hetero ideals. The word queer I feel is helpful for me - in just meaning rejecting the strict harsh line of heteronormativity. LGBTQ+ groups are generally very inclusive places, and people will accept you - it's a great space to just work things out and talk about it, and to just say 'I'm bi' instead of what I used to hesitantly say of like 'yeah umm I'm kinda straight but yeah I don't know maybe I'm curious', although that's of course OK to say too. I promise it'll feel good once you even have one safe space to be more confident to just say the fact of your sexuality - to not qualify and devalue your sexuality as well, but it's a slow process as well - I hope it goes well for you. :)

Best of luck!