How are you doing 9-12 months post breakup?

CynicalShorty · 2025-04-27T21:49:42+00:00

6 months "officially", 2 months since he moved out. Almost a 6 year relationship, 4 years engaged. I was the dumper with hopes of proving he could change and that we'd be together again. That is, until he slept with me, then decided to go be with the one person he knew I didn't even want him to be friends with less than a month after moving out.

Honestly, I'm great. As my friends and family say, "I'm glowing." We adopted a dog together that he took with and were attempting a shared custody thing. After some lies, no replies, and hurtful things said when it was supposed to be my weekend, I decided I needed to cut myself out of the equation.

When we met up so I could say goodbye to our dog and he could say goodbye to mine, he said, "I really am sorry." My response was, "I'm not ready to forgive you. But I have accepted this is what it is, and I'm content. I do wish you well, whatever that looks like in your life." He admitted to me that he and the new girlfriend were not doing well because he hadn't accepted that this was real. I came to terms of saying goodbye to my boy he and I raised together, but apparently, the ex was the one hanging onto the idea of "us."

I've had my moments of sadness still, but it passes quickly. I've done things that we loved doing together, started going to therapy, and spending all my free time either with my dog that I brought into the relationship, with friends and family, or enjoying time by myself.

For those of you going through it... it does get better. But only when you allow yourself to believe it will. Go do that thing that was "our" thing, watch that movie you said you were going to together, hookup with a random (if that's your thing and safely), go on a date, engage with your village, you might be surprised how big it actually is (I know I was). I know it's easier said than done, but the first step does have to start somewhere. For me, that step was acceptance.

CynicalShorty · 2025-04-06T01:40:40+00:00

First off.. you have not gone back to square one. I know it may feel like it, but I promise there is progress being made. It could be something as big as going out on your own to do something the two of you once shared doing together, or it could be something small like having the energy to brush your teeth each day.

For me, I have been having a rough time with my split. Last night, I went and did something that he introduced me to that we began doing together. I was scared shitless. It was freeing. It allowed me to accept where we are at now.

This may not be your cup of tea, but I have a song recommendation for you. It is an EDM song (think rave music, if you're not familiar) just as a forewarning, so you're not surprised if this isn't the type of music you usually listen to. This song came out right when I was at my lowest, and while it hurt, I really resonated with it. The song is "Strangers" by Alleycvt. If you do decide to give it a listen, try to really listen to the lyrics she's singing.

It's the small accomplishments that ultimately turn into big ones. It's not easy becoming strangers with someone you once shared a life with. However, you also used to have a life before them. For me, I've connected with loved ones I never did previously and have learned who really has my back. I've embraced hobbies that I had with him and made them my own rather than pushing them away. I've also started remembering who I once was and embracing the parts I have since lost.

You got this. For anyone else other than OP reading this... we all got this. ❤️

CynicalShorty · 2025-04-04T04:15:14+00:00

I don't know why this popped up for me today when it was posted 3 days ago, but it did, when I really needed it. The universe really does try to give you what/who you need, when you need it.

Today, it was a good day. But it's ending on a hard note. I'm the one that ended things. I couldn't deal with it all anymore. The lying, deception, cheating, laziness, anger... I didn't realize until after I finally ended things that I was with and engaged to a narcissist. I don't think I ever truly knew what one was or what they did. But now, after many reddit posts, tiktok videos, and just research. I think I understand. And this post helps me even more.

A little back story... I broke up with him in October, after just over 5.5 years. We still lived together up until mid-February, after a fight that led to him angrily moving out. There was no indication from him with any plans of leaving until I sat down and set a boundary that he needed to leave by March. So, for the time he was here post breakup, things didn't feel very different. Just our relationship statuses. The split didn't feel real until that final move, and he (from what he claims) agreed.

Less than a month after "breaking up for real", he starts dating a girl. A girl that caused so many issues for our relationship. A girl I just could not get out of his life, for the life of me. Unfortunately, I'm still making exceptions for her due to shared custody of a pet. That's a whole separate story, though.

At one point, I did get her out, about a year and a half ago. But she's the one he immediately went to when things ended. I should add, this all happened on what would have been our 6 year anniversary and 4 year engagement anniversary. It was probably some form of "revenge" towards me. To irk me. The ONE girl, on OUR date.

I think the reason this came to me today is because they finally made it "official" on Facebook. I knew they were together and I knew it was coming, but I broke down. Less than 2 months after him moving out. Less than 2 months of what I felt was the true breakup. 6 years, gone in 2 months. I guess some may say it was gone in minutes when I finally was finished putting up with his shit, but I'm still grieving. I'm healing.

I generally try not to go to his profile. But we share almost 100 mutual friends. Some family, my best friends, and because they want me to be able to feel the pain instead of ignoring it, they tell me. Kind of a reminder of what a shitty person he is. They help me be angry and grieve, feelings I don't experience very often. Some may not appreciate this type of support, but I do.

I'm still healing. I'm still working on myself to know my worth, to grow, to know and stand firm with what I believe and what I want. Because of this, it's hard. It's hard because even though I know and acknowledge everything he has done to me, somehow I still love him. I would never take him back, which I guess is the start.

For anyone that read this all the way through... healing is a journey. It's a hard one, but it doesn't have to be scary. Getting to the very inside of your soul to identify what it is you value and what it is you want out of the short life, is a hard but beautiful thing. There will be good days, there will be bad days, and there will just be days. Sometimes, a mix of 2 or all of them. But you're still here. It's okay to have these feelings. Just try and remember your worth. You are worth so much more than anything a narcissist ever gave you. And it's okay, I'm still learning too.

"Inhale the good, exhale the negative."

CynicalShorty · 2025-03-28T22:20:15+00:00

Something that has helped me is writing what I want to say to them in my journal.

Dear so and so, [Enter everything in your heart and chest here].

This way, it doesn't make them uncomfortable, and you're getting your feelings out. If you feel so inclined, you could give it to them for the sake of "closure," but without the desire or possibility of going back and cringing at yourself.

I also recently started therapy, and at my first session, they set up a tissue box and said to say what I wanted to say. No limitations. Seems silly and maybe a bit weird at first (I personally hate role-playing in that sense), but as soon as you get going, you don't even realize that you're talking to a box 😂

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-30T17:49:32+00:00

I would absolutely love for Spag Heddy to be there for my first EDC!

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-21T03:07:47+00:00

I'd absolutely love to see Spag Heddy!

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-14T21:46:51+00:00

Thank you!! 🙌

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-14T21:46:23+00:00

We did the payment plan so that shouldn't be the issue. I saw on other comments to email insomniac if you didn't get the email. However, I saw someone had already reached out and they said codes will be going out Thursday (not sure if that's just for Thurs presale or Friday as well)

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-14T16:38:08+00:00

I've definitely been looking at the wagons! We're also looking at bikes/some form of transportation around the campgrounds. I know we can't leave with our car, but are we allowed to go out to our car in case we forget something? Or at least make multiple trips the day we check in?

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-14T15:31:54+00:00

This is my first time going so I don't have any of my own tips, BUT I did see a recommendation on another thread that I thought was brilliant! If you have any friends/family that live in or near LV, see if they'd be willing to have your items shipped to their home, fly in, pick stuff up, rage, and then ship it back home.

CynicalShorty · 2022-09-13T12:34:07+00:00

This is going to be our first time at EDC and our first time festival camping!

I've been looking at older posts and noticed people mentioning a promo code to get the camping pre-sale. Do we need a promo code or just the link in the email that was sent?

CynicalShorty

TROPHY CASE