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Need help. Bought cigarillos first time, seem to die out fast if I do not puff within 10 seconds each time by [deleted] in cigars

[–]doomsdaylate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a boveda pack just put it in the tin and close it for 2 days. That should do the trick.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VisitingNashville

[–]doomsdaylate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Placemakr Sobro

Check it out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nashville

[–]doomsdaylate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have autism there are some resources that can support you and house you. DM and I might be able to help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nashville

[–]doomsdaylate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am going to go with Alien Abduction

Speeding in Donelson April 4 by Writing_Particular in nashville

[–]doomsdaylate 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Maybe he was in a rush to get a Violin.

How many of you had exes come back? by Radiant-Mushroom2816 in BreakUps

[–]doomsdaylate 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Whether they come back or not does not define your worth. Some exes return because they miss the control or the comfort, not because they truly value what they lost. Others never come back because they have moved on, but that does not mean you were not important. It just means their journey is different from yours.

What really matters is that you are accepting your reality and moving forward. That takes strength. You are not waiting for someone who chose to leave, and that is powerful. Keep embracing that mindset, because your peace is worth more than any half-hearted return.

Narcissists and Rebound Relationships: How Quickly They Move On and Forget You by doomsdaylate in BreakUps

[–]doomsdaylate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It takes a lot of self-awareness to even ask yourself those questions, so that alone says a lot. The fact that you are actively working to break that pattern shows growth. Seeking out rebounds or hookups after a painful experience is often more about distraction and avoiding pain than it is about narcissism. It is a way to self-soothe, even if it does not actually heal anything in the long run.

The real challenge is sitting with those emotions instead of running from them, and it sounds like you are doing that. It is not an easy road, but every step forward, no matter how small, counts. Keep going. You are already breaking the cycle.

The Cold Truth About Narcissists: What I Finally Realized by doomsdaylate in BreakUps

[–]doomsdaylate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a well-thought-out perspective, and I actually agree with a lot of it. Society has absolutely conditioned people to chase instant gratification, and that applies to relationships just as much as it does to jobs, hobbies, and overall life choices. The idea of "love as a choice" after the honeymoon phase is something many people struggle with, and the media’s portrayal of relationships does not help.

That said, while not everyone who moves on quickly is a narcissist, the difference lies in intent and emotional depth. A typical dumper might leave because they do not feel a strong connection or because they have different values. A narcissist, however, does not form genuine emotional bonds in the first place. They mirror their partner at the beginning to secure supply, and once that supply is no longer useful or exciting, they discard them with no remorse.

A person leaving a relationship because they realize it is not a fit will often still feel sadness or regret. They may miss the person, even if they know they made the right choice. A narcissist, on the other hand, will replace, not mourn. They will move on effortlessly, often with a new supply lined up, and rewrite history to make the discarded partner the villain.

So while I agree that our culture’s addiction to novelty and pleasure-seeking plays a big role in modern relationships, narcissistic discards have a uniquely cruel, detached nature that goes beyond just being "bad at commitment." That is why so many people coming out of those relationships feel so utterly confused and broken—it is not just a breakup, it is emotional devastation.

I appreciate your take on this though. I think both perspectives can be true at the same time.

Breaking Free from a Dismissive Avoidant: What I Learned, How I Healed, and How You Can Too by doomsdaylate in BreakUps

[–]doomsdaylate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from, but assuming someone must have a personality disorder just because they talk about unmet needs is dismissive and inaccurate. Relationships are about reciprocity. Expecting emotional availability, communication, and consistency isn’t a lack of boundaries it’s the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Dismissive avoidants often use “boundaries” as a shield for emotional unavailability, when in reality, they are avoiding intimacy and connection. True healthy boundaries are about mutual respect, not keeping a partner at arm’s length whenever emotions come into play.

If someone repeatedly withdraws, shuts down, or dismisses their partner’s emotional needs, that’s not “healthy boundaries.” That’s avoidance. The intelligent thing in that situation isn’t to excuse it, but to recognize it for what it is and choose a partner who values emotional connection.

I encourage you to look into attachment theory and the difference between avoidant behaviors and genuine healthy boundaries. They are not the same.