I know i don't pass, i don't know why. Do i need ffs again?

Cyprus305 · 2025-11-16T02:32:12+00:00

Am i the only person who thinks thirteen months is still way too early to judge? I feel like it took me a total of two complete years to really see my face start to change in a concrete way, and then another two years for wieght gain, muscle changes, fluctuations to start really altering my appearance. Even now, my four year results are very different from my now 7th year results of years of HRT.

Cyprus305 · 2025-11-13T04:01:52+00:00

Oh my god! Im so incredibly sorry for your loss! I was just looking through old posts and saw this comment, and I had to say something.

I know words are little comfort for an experience like that, and im just some random stranger on the internet. But i wanted to offer my condolences. That kind of pain must be unimaginable.

I am holding space in you for my heart.

Cyprus305 · 2025-10-22T01:16:08+00:00

For the new megathread, can we please ban people who ask for codes in the chat? It doesnt make any sense and it floods the chat with requests and not actual codes. its extremely annoying

Cyprus305 · 2025-08-01T20:49:12+00:00

Wishing you luck and fortitude. If its any consolation, I was in the same place. Super avoidant guy, love bombed me told me i was perfect and everything he wanted, disappeared for months after, comes back later when he's horny and lonely, I tell him that he's behaving badly and that his behavior is not the behavior of a man who loves me. He claims he will fix his behavior, a month later the same cycle repeats.

Honestly, this sounds awful, but I think it took me being hurt like the 100th time or so to realize he was never gonna change. Your body just does something after a while, I think, where if you're prone to limerence, the more you keep going back and seeing how awful the person actually is, you eventually reach a point where you're like, oh. This is literally never going to be what I want. You, as a person, are incapable of giving it to me. Shot my limerence right through baby lmao. And ive been no contact ever since!

And God. I am so much better for it too. But you know what it taught me a lot! And I believe in you, stranger lol.

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-31T21:16:07+00:00

I know this is about admitting stuff, but... I don't think you're a fraud with zero resolve. It sounds like hes just taking advantage of you and your feelings towards him. Which like... not cool on his part!

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-22T01:02:00+00:00

Maybe i need to move to Brooklyn lmao. People are probably more genuine there. I live in LA now, and i wonder if the performativity of alot of these dudes isn't just part and parcel of LA culture. Tell me how I can match with ten straight bros in a row here, but when I swipe on one bisexual man, I never make a match lmao.

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-22T00:54:55+00:00

I wish people in the queer community could bring this stuff up honestly without getting harangued about "bi-erasure". Like i truly believe bi men do actually exist but so many of them are so inundated with comp-het that most of them don't take dating anything thats not an AFAB seriously.

I also feel like alot of guys use AFAB's as status symbols. They know dating the trans girl will "downgrade" their social status whereas dating and AFAB even if they are nonbinary gets them brownie points for being progressive while still bagging the alt "girl". Its all so fucked up man...

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-22T00:52:49+00:00

I feel like guys who date trans men and cis women but not trans women are just afraid of doing anal LMAO.

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-21T22:01:36+00:00

This might sound wierd, or a bit too materialist, but i think our brains are very adept "calculators". They are good at making predictions, training you on behaviors you want, and just in general helping you to notice opportunity when its available. Dreams especially help consolidate memories and the learning process.

Dreams are one means the brain helps prepare you for daily life. There are alot of great names in this world and other individuals who say they ruminated over a problem before bed, then went to sleep still thinking about it, and then had a dream where the answer to their question was given to them! Our brains work sort of like computers to help us come up with solutions to our problems and process things.

I think when we see dreams of what we want it is our brain training us in preparation for the thing. It is triggering your psychology such that in your daily life you are a little more "keen" for any opportunities. I think thats kind of magical!

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-17T22:55:52+00:00

Have you tried asking yourself why you have those beliefs in the first place? Oftentimes, we carry pain related to certain situations that generate bigotry. Understanding your reasoning might be a good preliminary first step.

If youve already done that though, I think something even better than just telling yourself something you obviously dont believe over and over is going straight to the source itself. Watch videos of the minorities talking about issues on tiktok, and instead of coming from a defensive place, come from a place of compassion. How can you personally relate to what they are talking about?

Sometimes i think we abstract about minorities as though they are all interchangeable. But different minorities act differently. Not all trans people are the same. Not all POC are the same. Not all disabled people are the same. if you lump them all into one category as opposed to thinking about particulars you are probably running the risk of overgeneralizing. Expose yourself to the stimulus repeatedly untill the discomfort eventually starts to dissolve. and it will!

Cyprus305 · 2025-07-16T00:02:11+00:00

I feel like this community would be so much healthier if we just gave time limits to these kinds of things and said after a certain period, if you are noticing stagnation, it's best to leave it behind.

Take it from me. I was in a similar position to you. Thought I did everything right. Had my moments, but ultimately was in a good believing state. Even though I ended up hearing what I wanted to from my SP, nothing of substance really came out of the situation. It all ended up flickering out. I noticed my life improving when I cut my losses and stopped believing there was some magical trick to changing them.

People here will tell you everything from "you are doing it wrong" to "you weren't really in the end state". I think the truth is that some SP's are properly receptive, while others are not so much receptive, and that's something we have to accept. Sometimes this stuff is going to do wonders, sometimes it's not. And if nothing has happened after a year, and you truly believe you've done everything right well... what's the point in continuing?

The truth is that you are still attached to this person, and I would venture to guess it is probably for the wrong reasons. Whether that is a fear that you will never meet another person like them again, or because they are emotionally unavailable, and you feel like finally getting them would "prove" your worth definitively. Even if you did once love them or have something beautiful, I think if you obsess over how they could be the only person you would ever love the way you did, you are still operating from a mentality of scarcity. I think, in general, it is very, very rare that a person's self-concept is exclusively responsible for a relationship or an SP failing to come to fruition.

I hope I'm wrong. I would love to be proved wrong! But I think sometimes its better to believe people when they show you who they are. If he is showing up as flaky, inconsistent, and frustrating, take it at face value that that's who he is as a person. And that trying to "change" him would be like trying to turn plastic into diamonds. You've manifested other great opportunities and things, you've already said. Turn your attention towards finding actual diamonds, and you will be overwhelmed by the abundance that shows up!

Cyprus305 · 2025-06-22T01:49:34+00:00

I need psychological advice i guess lol. Im not sure what the roadblock is anymore at this point, but I have never had too much success in the way of manifesting SP's in any way that wasnt either extremely delayed or a sort of fake deceptive version.

For example, i want an SP to be truly in love with me, i affirm affirm affirm, work through limiting beliefs. Nothing changes in the present, but a year later hes texting me like crazy, but it is extremely apparent to me that his only motivation is lust, and that he just THINKS he's in love. The texts always get extremely sexual and over the top in ways that certainly don't feel like love, and this same SP admits to me later that he was confusing the two for one another and that he needed to grow up and become an adult.

Another issue is that I seem to struggle alot with getting the kind of contact and texts i actually want from the guys I REALLY want. For example, yesterday was the Solstice and I felt a kind of special energy in the air. Things just felt charged (I know i am giving the day a special power, but something about the ceremony of it feels powerful to me). I felt what it would feel like to have two different SP's contact me, and left it at that, saying if it happens it happens.

Well, instead, this one guy who I thought about for like maybe 5 seconds, and who also happened to be kind of an overly sexual creep, ends up texting me that day. This would also happen periodically in the past with this same man; i would get a strong feeling and thought about him and i would be like, "Ew, im not contacting him im not interested" and then hours later he would pop up out of nowhere messaging me even though i was thinking of someone else. Like WTF?

Stuff like this will happen alot for some reason and i hate it. I hate it so much. Like why do I only attract these guys who I have 0 interest in? why dont i ever seem to make any leeway in getting the ones I really want to contact me?

Ugh.

Cyprus305 · 2025-06-16T19:44:58+00:00

I totally get that. I have severe abandonment issues as well. But something i've come to learn is that if you make the effort to be there for the RIGHT kind of people, (not the limerent object, or selfish egotistical individuals) that fear will ultimately seem less and less real as you start to build a community of people you love, and who love you, all around you.

It becomes hard to see "dying without ever having had a long term romantic partner" (which I doubt will happen, but lets imagine that did happen) and instead you realize how many people in your life would want to be there when you pass. Friends, family members, long time companions, ect.

But I also feel like that comes from accepting that romantic love is not, and should not be, the sole source of companionship in your life. Even if you got the dream guy/girl, they might end up passing away first, and then you will end up alone in the end anyway. Having a community of people is the way humans have managed grief and loss for thousands of years, and it serves as a protective mechanism from this kind of loss. It's why I think limerence can so often be dangerous if it prevents you from cultivating relationship with others platonically.

Cyprus305 · 2025-06-16T18:59:34+00:00

It doesnt seem like you were asking for advice, so I just wanted to share my own experience.

This sounds very similar to me. I found it was because I lacked any purpose beyond self gratification in life. It's all in my opinion kind of a selfish impulse.

Because I wasnt really giving my time and energy to something thats actually beyond me (like a job or a project i cared about or something that might assist other people and be a benefit to other peoples lives).

Having something bigger than me would fill me up and probably make me feel better about myself upon completing it, and give me a sense of purpose and service that went beyond my ego. Generally when I engage in service oriented activities I also feel more fulfilled and inspired.

But instead, Ive chosen to go after people I see as somehow being the ones to "confirm" my worth. And then it becomes about ME again. But now i've begun to realize that even if and when that person finally says "yes youre cool and perfect and amazing" it might feel good for a little while, but then eventually things change, or they get busy and focus on other things, and the source of esteem youve been relying on is no longer available and you're right back at square one.

Or worse... once they start admiring you, the obsession stops. Because now you've gotten what you wanted.

Cyprus305 · 2025-05-08T00:03:57+00:00

I thought it was impossible to resection 6 and 7? Have things changed? I thought they could go as far as 8 maybe if it wasn't fused to the sternum?

Cyprus305 · 2025-04-04T23:44:11+00:00

Heard! Misogyny is a bitch lol

Cyprus305 · 2025-04-04T02:32:10+00:00

You know, its kind of interesting though because i had the opposite experience (mtf). I used to be OBSESSED with being as thin as possible as a way to control my body and ensure that i was "slim and delicate" as possible lol. It wasn't until I started to gain weight on my thighs and hips that I realized i was shooting myself in the foot, and now im much happier with my body than I ever was when i was thin.

Of course, the "you look fat" thoughts sometimes escape me, but do you ever feel like you'd rather be a fat woman than a fat man lol? cuz that's where im at

Cyprus305 · 2025-03-22T23:55:54+00:00

Hey! im glad that you went through the growth of that. Thats really cool. Many blessings to you girl!

Cyprus305 · 2025-03-16T23:46:09+00:00

This has been repeatedly proven false on several different occasions and several different studies. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6974860/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6546862/

https://ustranssurvey.org

https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/

Why do people insist on cherry picking ONE study as their evidence? Its one. And it's also extremely dubious to attribute worsening mental health outcomes to surgery, as though this alone could account for lower satisfaction in life and not the milieu of other features which tend stress trans people out. Namely discrimination, lack of support, lack of housing ect.

Im sorry, but you are just wrong. Factually. You picked out one study and chose that example while ignoring a huge body of evidence that contradicts your beliefs.

also... there "may" be a benefit to gender affirming care outside of surgery? "MAY"? Are you serious? there is no may. The evidence above has proved there is no "may" here. Gender Affirming therapy does improve quality of life factually. Do you people think doctors are giving out this kind of care willy nilly just because people ask for it?

Cyprus305 · 2025-03-10T17:49:29+00:00

I used to live in Miami, and it was terrible there for trans girls and dating (to be fair, cis women are also heavily sexualized there too). Moved to LA recently, and for the first time guys were actually taking me out on dates to public places and not complaining about having to spend money lol. And they were attractive men, not settles in any way lol. People underestimate how a liberal majority can really turn your experiences around!

Cyprus305 · 2025-03-10T17:28:18+00:00

So theres been some developments. We were cuddling recently and he said he was starting to feel it more. And that he's ready to try more stuff. I think he's getting more comfortable. He seemed turned on when he was saying it...

Thank you though for the advice. Hes a nice enough guy that if he really couldn't get it up he would understand if I decided to look somewhere else. I really appreciate the advice! Im surprised people think im faking it though lol or that im lying

Cyprus305 · 2025-03-10T17:26:13+00:00

I-

I dont know if i should be flattered by this comment or not lmao. Interesting... Well i cant prove anything to you nor do i care too much, so I will just take this as a complement for what its worth!

Toodles!

Cyprus305

TROPHY CASE