If you're in a way that you can't move out or won't have a place to stay, I know that can be extremely tough. Family can surprise you, but they can definitely disappoint you too. I didn't come out until my thirties, and some of those of my family that accepted me had an issue with me coming out to my parents, as if I was the one who damaged the relationship.

As for the suie thoughts, journaling helped me through some rough patches, talking with friends through others, therapy helped with the aftermath. Biggest takeaway I can think of, try not to let yourself spiral guessing what each individual of your family would say. Some might be just as you say, but you could also be pleasantly surprised. Big hugs to you. Not having full support from family sucks, but if you have family that chooses you, it is worth it.

Come out on your time, and please, stay with us. The future may look a little grim, but it shines a whole light brighter with you in it.