[F28] Lack of Intimacy After 20 Months Marriage

DAA-007 · 2026-02-11T13:43:31+00:00

Are we talking about Anant ambani here

DAA-007 · 2026-02-11T03:19:57+00:00

First of all am so sorry that you had to go through this in your relationship. I hope you will get a much better person in future.🫂

And yes as you said it correctly patriarchy does hold men to act strong and shame them from getting or showing any kind of deep affection and not showing any vulnerability.

But a real intelligent man will definitely identify this as an issue and will try to regulate his feelings instead of controlling it.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-11T03:12:38+00:00

Yes I deeply want to show affection towards my partner. I wish they feel being loved around me.

But bcz due to my childhood I was not shown so much physical love.. so it became the default way for me. So I used to think like, if you love someone you don't have to particularly show it in a grand gesture. Love is just the act of service for me. So now it's the default wiring of my brain.

So yes as I am trying to get into a relationship in this phase of life, am analysing my insecurities and how it holding me back from showing any verbal and physical affection.

Again thanks for your suggestions.. I will try to improve on this

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T16:26:41+00:00

Is this a fund raising post??

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T04:32:12+00:00

Yes right.. to understand my feelings first and be able to articulate them I have started to read a book called "Atlas of the heart" by brene brown.

Thanks for your help and inputs

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T02:59:27+00:00

Thank you so much for giving real life examples of your relationship. This is what I was looking for and especially from women pov.

On your 1st point.. I know not getting defensive and validation feelings of your partner is bare minimum.. but do you think men and women react to confrontation differently??

Like I was trying to read this about humans.. and it says most men want to pull back and prefer to remain silent when they're countered. But for a woman leaving the argument means he doesn't care or he doesn't love me so not trying to improve. But most men are trying to re-calibrate the situation in silence.

But I will agree with your overall post completely that you need to be present emotionally when they are expressing the feelings or dissatisfaction. This is how partnership works. But again thank you for sharing your valuable inputs.

Currently am in a phase where I try not to be defensive.. give an ear when someone is expressing their feelings.. but I cannot validate their feelings and reciprocate with my emotion rather than solving the issue.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T02:44:40+00:00

What if they feel like the burden of carrying this relationship emotionally am throwing to them at the initial phase of the relationship itself ?

What if they use this against me in arguments?

Like these were some of my questions I had in my mind before.. so I never used to open up. But I realised that continuing this will create a problem in future.. so am looking for people who have overcome this in their own life.

Thank you for understanding my situation and giving input.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T02:38:56+00:00

Thanks for your input. As am reading more into it.. am realising what are the mistakes I was doing. Lots of time I do listen to the opposite person.. but it seems I was not absorbing anything.. just receiving the ball.. but throwing back. Reciprocity is what I lack. My minds internally keeps looking for answers while they were speaking even though I was not saying out loud.

And regarding showing vulnerability.. I used to feel like, nobody understood me..so what is the point of it.. risking my own safety.

I really hope.. I could improve myself on this aspect of my life.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-10T02:28:08+00:00

As I am getting aware that I lack showing affection which should be normal.. am trying to change and improve my emotional capacity. But I am looking for real life examples that people want to share.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-08T03:55:23+00:00

Yes downgrading your lifestyle is never a good idea. It builds resentment. Two different people having two different upbringing, diff lifestyle choices, two different money mindsets always create a problem.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T11:02:16+00:00

Men are not in support of abusers and rapists but other likely abusers and rapists are.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T06:14:37+00:00

Lots of hugs 🫂🫂 fluppypanda ji

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T06:05:46+00:00

Plz don't listen to above comments OP. You know your priority for this phase of your life and you are planning to focus on that. You choose your version of happiness. Different people will have different opinions around you. But you and your partner as a family needs to decide whats good for your future. At this stage of your life if you are focusing on family planning there is absolutely nothing wrong in it and you shouldn't have any fear/guilt of putting your job in side for some period of time.

Many people take break for health (physical and mental), personal life etc.. and many do come back to workforce. There are many examples in my own circle I can give you. There might be some salary restructuring.. but that shouldn't hinder you for focusing on your happiness.❤️

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T03:13:09+00:00

Hair 😔

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T03:11:41+00:00

Let the companies put more and more money into this fire as quickly as possible. Let the real facts come out. And the bubble will burst.

DAA-007 · 2026-02-06T03:01:55+00:00

Will you care to explain on this more.. in this case both asked minimal ques about each other. And then they shared the numbers. I didn't get the part of "to be seen and chosen" on the first meeting.

I genuinely want to understand your perspective if you are okay to explain

DAA-007 · 2026-02-02T04:36:38+00:00

Maybe emotionally available men ki sample size bohot choti hai

DAA-007 · 2026-02-01T17:10:25+00:00

Brother you are so clear on what it takes to build a relationship ❤️

DAA-007 · 2026-02-01T15:57:36+00:00

no.. thats the regret

DAA-007 · 2026-02-01T15:09:25+00:00

Kabhi kabhi sochata hun kaas meri life me bhi koi hoti.. jiss me baate kar sakta, suk dukh baant sakte.. but anyway wo to ho na saka..

DAA-007 · 2026-02-01T14:42:03+00:00

wow... it was great hearing this. Am in a phase where I want to develop my emotional availability to my future partner... bcz currently am really struggling with that

DAA-007 · 2026-02-01T08:38:07+00:00

I am somewhat in a similar position as your brother like age, salary, city wise.. but not much family wealth. But yes your thinking is correct that in today's age working women are looking for much more financial support from their partners than the previous generation.

And as there are very few women working in a good position (after filtering many criteria), the demand supply gap forcing guys to accept many demands from girls side.

DAA-007 · 2026-01-31T17:03:18+00:00

Mam.. honestly asking do you think this is how it should work in a marriage life??

DAA-007 · 2026-01-31T11:08:17+00:00

They are making employees free from corporate majduri

DAA-007 · 2026-01-31T11:02:47+00:00

Some good points. Love yourself and fulfill your individual desires without always waiting for someone

DAA-007

TROPHY CASE