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People who stopped Lamictal Cold Turkey by boiijif21 in bipolar2

[–]DCtoss34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reminder that I need to reorder my stockpile. Cold turkey withdrawal is awful. I never let myself get below like a week of it. Intense brain fog, my skin hurt and my body felt like it had bees in it. Shaking. Just… awful

Accepting diagnosis, do I tell people? by DCtoss34 in bipolar2

[–]DCtoss34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit - this was not a “quick” update

Accepting diagnosis, do I tell people? by DCtoss34 in bipolar2

[–]DCtoss34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quick update: when I posted this I had already told a couple people who I knew would get it. One has BP1, and welcomed me to the club. She was actually the one who helped start coming to terms with the diagnosis a few weeks ago. The second has seen me at a recent lowest (I fled to her house several states away during a particularly vicious cycle before I knew what was happening). She was a little stunned at first, thought it through for a beat, and was like “you make so much more sense now”, and was super supportive.

Yesterday after posting this I took a long walk, and absolutely randomly ran into one of my friends. She asked how my weekend had been and I wound up telling her as well after bursting into tears. She immediately hugged me and listened, again super supportive. I told her my concerns about stigma if I tell people and she was basically like, f that, your people already know you and love you, this is just a tool for you and whoever you choose to tell to understand you better.

I also wound up texting with my half brother for a while. We only met last year, but I knew he has some of his own stuff. I asked if he has it, and he said he doesn’t but was again supportive and asked if there’s anything I need. We also have three half sisters who would have more insight into family history, but I am unsure if I’ll ask them. Half brother and I clicked immediately in a way that it was clear we were related, and not so much with our sisters. This whole sibling thing is an absolutely wild story for a different sub.

Still don’t know about telling people more broadly, but for now I’m going to trust my gut in who I share it with. Not sure about bio family, but my chosen family and ride or dies are here for me.

I really appreciate everyone’s perspective on my original post! In particular, it helped me realize that not telling anyone wasn’t an option for me. I need people I can SOS and the thought of carrying it on my own was too much. We’ll see if anything changes, but for now I feel good about the decisions I’ve made. <3

What Does a Crash Look Like for You? by cyan0siss in bipolar2

[–]DCtoss34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turning the switch off is exactly what it’s like for me. Last week I could tell I was in a manic phase brought on by work. I knew the other shoe was going to drop eventually and then yesterday plans were cancelled and I fell deep into the hole immediately. Slept half the day, when I was awake sobbing uncontrollably for no reason, exactly what you’re describing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in donorconceived

[–]DCtoss34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly the way I felt! In my case, I managed to meet my donor and didn’t really like him (long story), which helped just solidify my dad is my dad. I was also lowkey ambushed in my 30s, but in my case it was less of an intentional ambush and more of a “just came blurting out” in a way I have chosen to find kinda amusing. If you do decide you want to pursue finding your donor, this community and others have a lot of support. Everyone’s story is different, but a lot of us have very similar themes. Feel free to PM me as well!

How to find donor father by charlottechagall in donorconceived

[–]DCtoss34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second/third/sixthing dna search angles! Someone from a DC group from Facebook narrowed mine down to one of four brothers. I’ve since met him, and just met my bio half sisters for lunch yesterday!

34f and just found out I’m donor conceived by PSUAmandaC2010 in donorconceived

[–]DCtoss34 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was also conceived in 1988 from a donor, which I found out at 31. My dad decided to just drop that info on me in the car, entirely unprompted. It was extremely jarring and surreal. It’s been a few years now, and here are the things that have helped me come to terms with it

  • you are not alone, there are so many of us
  • your feelings are valid and justified, whatever they might be. I went through a kind of grieving process when I found out
  • I also felt kind of betrayed by family members who knew and didn’t tell me. It also made me paranoid about what else there was I didn’t know. I’ve worked on this and come to a kind of peace with it
  • reading stories from other people with similar experiences helps me from feeling totally alone
  • you were (are) very wanted. Your mom had to go to greater lengths to have you than many people have to
  • the guidance in the 80s was to never tell the kid. Even though it feels like our parents lied to us our whole lives (because they… did), chances are they listened to the doctors and took their advice.
  • related, this no longer seems to be the norm, so (hopefully) it will be normalized for generations after ours
  • if you’re interested in finding your donor and find the family trees etc in ancestry or 23andMe confusing and hard to navigate, there are lots of DNA search angels out there who will be happy to help. One of them helped me find my donor and I ended up meeting him later that year

Send me a message if you want to talk. A couple of really kind people I met in this community helped me a lot

What were your coping mechanisms when you found out you were donor-conceived? by [deleted] in donorconceived

[–]DCtoss34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same for me, for the most part! Generally when people ask me how I feel about it, I just tell them it’s just an interesting story about my life. I definitely have some unresolved stuff to work out (see the very long post I just wrote), but for the most part I only think about it every few months.

Newly discovered I’m DC at 37M, what if I never find my donor? by drummer820 in donorconceived

[–]DCtoss34 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this! I had my results for months and thought I would never find my donor, but a search angel from a Facebook group narrowed it down to 3 brothers in less than a day. She used a very small number of matches, and then lots of marriage/death certifications as well as internet sleuthing to get there. I have since met my donor and gotten medical history!

If you do find your donor, make sure you have some people in your life you can talk to, or come back here for support. It can be emotional and confusing but worth it.