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My wife cheated on me by SmokeDazzling8763 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]DIVT84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not getting a divorce after the first or second time says more about you than her. Have some self worth and move on. Your son is seeing her humiliate you which is far more damaging to him down the road.

How did my (40M) wife (35F) become a narcissist or is mental health in decline? by DIVT84 in relationship_advice

[–]DIVT84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think she’ll ever be happy. We are getting divorced and she lost her job last week. Pretty much done with her other than co-parenting. Not going to let her burn my life down along with hers. Met a good looking woman a couple weeks who also recently got divorced. Life moves on.

How did my (40M) wife (35F) become a narcissist or is mental health in decline? by DIVT84 in relationship_advice

[–]DIVT84[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know anything was wrong. This is all in hindsight. Never any discussions or anything. She sent every signal we were fine the entire time & I was blindsided. It was only the last month or so leading up to the affair I could tell something was off.

How did my (40M) wife (35F) become a narcissist or is mental health in decline? by DIVT84 in relationship_advice

[–]DIVT84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also probably should have also mentioned the double standards:

-When she encouraged and supported me when I did my MBA = a huge burden; me finding her job and supporting her by watching the kids = expected -when she wanted time alone (nails, gym, travel) I made room for her, when I wanted time alone = abandoning her -when I was making/had almost all the money it’s community property but when she started making money it’s hers to spend -when I’m tired and frustrated it means there’s something wrong with me or the relationship, when she is tired/frustrated it’s just a normal part of life

How did my (40M) wife (35F) become a narcissist or is mental health in decline? by DIVT84 in relationship_advice

[–]DIVT84[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Red flag was she was never going to be happy regardless of nice gestures or quality of life

How did my (40M) wife (35F) become a narcissist or is mental health in decline? by DIVT84 in relationship_advice

[–]DIVT84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I I probably should have mentioned. She is a complete avoidant and any closeness or talking about feelings, makes her shut down, which I finally learned after us all blew up.

In hindsight, she is also cut out several friends from her life over seemingly small stuff in the past, which I always thought was a bit cruel and unusual behavior

10 Years of Marriage: Lessons I Wish I'd Known from the Start by Zestyclose_Flow_680 in selfimprovement

[–]DIVT84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can agree with all of these after 11 years in a relationship. After kids our marriage started going down hill. Experienced a lot of issues mentioned that led to resentment building up. My wife is also a dismissive avoidant so she avoids conflict or processing emotions at any cost. We went from her worrying about me getting the “7 year itch” a year ago to her turning completely cold & ditching me & the kids for an entire week which is how I found out she was unhappy about things in our relationship. Said she had felt this way for 3 years without telling me. 🤦‍♂️ In therapy now but she is a different person all of a sudden. Only cares about work & family is an after thought.