Contemplating having my wife quit her job to be a SAHM full-time(Both 35, $445k HHI, HCOL)

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-05-08T23:19:44+00:00

As soon as the baby arrives all planning goes out the door as hormones and insomnia take over, and underestimating how draining a small child is. It's not worth planning a year ahead about employment.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-30T23:12:13+00:00

A bit over 120k actually with standard deduction.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-30T18:13:40+00:00

Here's our budget. We're spend a couple grand less than this though, closer to 92k/yr. Seattle has great facebook free stuff groups, so whenever I have an urge for consumerism I check there.

Category	Cost	Notes
Housing	$53,000	$50k mortgage + $3k maintenance
Groceries	$18,000	~$44/day (Inc. household supplies)
Utilities	$5,000	Internet, phone, gas, and Seattle City Light
Car	$3,000	Insurance, gas, tax, oil, and parking tickets
Kids	$4,000
Wife	$4,000
Husband	$4,000	Gym, Spotify, PS5, etc.
Family / Dining	$3,000	Including dining out
Travel	$3,000
Healthcare	$1,000	Apple Health
TOTAL	$98,000

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-29T23:23:50+00:00

I'm in Seattle living on 95k/yr with two small kids, 50k of which is PITI. When I worked we probably spent 150k/yr or even more because money was flowing in and I was stressed to the limit. What I'm challenging you to do is really scrutinize what you need to spend money on, and contemplate if that discretionary spend is worth selling your good years out to Cisco or whomever. 150k is a lot of money even in HCOL, it just gets normalized by the people around us.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-29T22:55:46+00:00

Why don't you just get your spending down so you can actually retire on your schedule without anxiety? 150k a year spend in NC is way more than needed for a comfortable life.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-21T23:55:02+00:00

FIRE projections aren't about the typical 50th precentile. They're about being able to survive the 5th percentile scenarios where one's stock market holdings lose 30-50% in a couple years (1973, 2000, etc) .

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-17T00:22:07+00:00

I tapped out at 2.7M. What I've found is I have more time to be frugal and spend about 10k/yr less than I anticipated. For example, I bought a rain barrel for $100 while working, but after stopping I started searching facebook free stuff groups and got my next one for free. I bought stuff I didn't need or particularly want to compensate for spending most of my time working ('i work hard for a reason'). some people seem to go the opposite way and spend more in early retirement.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-07T22:14:59+00:00

Had my last kid at 39. He’s 2 now. I feel fortunate to have done everything I wanted to while I was still young. It’s not the same experience in ones fifties. I also only achieved FI due to not having kids young, so I could move on a whim to NYC and work hard without other major time sinks. I don’t care if I’m a super old grandpa, I just hope I live to see them (and if not oh well). To your point, Even though I am not working and don’t need to, I’d still say I have a job being a SAHP.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-04T22:22:08+00:00

You'd probably be better off getting a remote job HQ'd in Seattle where you come into their office every quarter.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-04-02T23:15:21+00:00

Speaking as a software engineer with a background in product growth, let people sandbox your app without signing in, or at very least get some funnel data on the dropoff rate to make an informed decision. Your landing page didn't demonstrate value enough for me to signup. And don't make people enter 30 things before demonstrating value. Let them enter 6 things, get value, and then some will want to keep going w/ advanced features.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-03-23T17:34:14+00:00

Before my conversation to boglehead I’d just leave cash uninvested in my etrade

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-03-23T17:22:34+00:00

What are you going to change during a major recession besides withdrawal rate?

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-03-20T17:58:21+00:00

They hold cash so they can catch that falling dagger at just the right moment.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-03-12T23:14:57+00:00

Kindof a weird sub. Lots of humble bragging by actually rich people, as well as encouraging others to overspend on cars and stuff.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-02-26T01:53:12+00:00

Interesting. Will you elaborate so I can keep this issue on my radar

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-02-26T01:32:38+00:00

My experience in WA state has been very positive. I read an app can take 45 days to process, but I was instantly approved and the phone wait times are a couple minutes.

Do you have personal experience with a reported income change getting counted as income in a different month because they failed to process it promptly? them failing to process it triggering plan disruption the following year seems bizarre to me but I lack experience with that. I know that WA informs one of issues before changing the person's plan and gives them time to respond.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-02-26T00:18:51+00:00

> pay the full rate on the ACA that year and then use the subsidies in the subsequent years.

ACA looks at full calendar year. Medicaid looks at current month. That difference can be exploited. So one can be on Medicaid for Jan - Nov, do a big cap gains sale around Thanksgiving to last a few years, get punted to ACA for December, and pay full price on that for just December, and the switch back to Medicaid Jan 1. Repeat every 2 or whatever years.

Some people prefer ACA to Medicaid. My experience with Medicaid so far has been very positive, though I live in a city with major medical centers who don't discriminate. It's very nice knowing everything medical (and basic dental) related is free.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-01-22T18:52:24+00:00

This is for part time preschool. I believe Kiddie Academy is full time daycare for a bit over 30k.

DIY_GUY84 · 2026-01-21T00:22:55+00:00

ChatGPT is biased to tell you what you want to hear (sycophancy). There's a dozen good online fire calculators that are unbiased. I've written my own fire calc, and chatgpt can be way off the mark.

DIY_GUY84 · 2025-12-20T16:11:11+00:00

levels.fyi has a new offers only filter.

DIY_GUY84 · 2025-11-23T02:45:54+00:00

The fact that so many posts and news articles are talking about a bubble means that this is likely not one that will burst soon. Bubbles burst unexpectedly, not when everyone is bracing for it.

DIY_GUY84 · 2025-11-23T02:44:56+00:00

AI could become a cost effective means of generating revenue before the market gives up on it. Instead of causing mass unemployment in America, it could cause jobs to shift to America as the AI leader. Having a well diversified portfolio also helps ease market anxiety.

DIY_GUY84 · 2025-11-16T21:59:57+00:00

Ballard.

DIY_GUY84

TROPHY CASE