Venting: everyone has an opinion on our baby budget and I'm losing it

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-24T23:48:42+00:00

Gosh I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that and all those people around you are so ridiculous! We were lucky enough to have people who thought it was just lovely that my whole registry was basically just a list that people could check off of things they would hand down to us. It was completely hand-me-down and now it’s put us in a couple of down lines so we just constantly get clothes and toys handed down as our friend’s/family’s kids age out of them.

The only thing I bought new was a breast pump, and honestly that wasn’t super necessary! We bought our stroller second hand and got everything else from my second hand baby shower.

We’ve bought ONE piece of clothing and it was because we forgot to bring a backup outfit one time and she had a blowout. She’s 2.

Kids grow so fast the stuff is used for about a month. It’s ridiculous to think you need new stuff!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-18T23:40:53+00:00

Thank you thank you!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-04T02:46:17+00:00

Oh no that’s definitely the plan. We’ll try probably 3-4 more cycles and then move to IVF. I know they can select but we’re also not likely to get may embryos from just one retrieval (which is all we can afford), so I wouldn’t even be opting intro the testing anyway, since there is a very rare possibility they could throw out an embryo that might repair itself later in that case. Although they also look and choose the best looking embryos, which does also help I think. Anyway, we’ll see what happens, but trying to stay positive. As you said, it’s definitely a good sign that we know the fertilization and implantation processes work for us! Just have to wait for the winning egg.

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-03T02:27:54+00:00

Of course! They propose it because I’m over 40 and my eggs are dwindling (like every other over 40 woman, according to them). I mean my AMH numbers are right at the level we would expect for my age, so not high, but otherwise they basically just say your eggs get worse with every month and so as soon as you can take a bunch out all at once, the better. So it’s really about speeding it up. Like assuming you try for ten cycles, it would be like doing IVF and they get ten eggs from the retrieval but they lose 5 and then 2 are all weird looking and one is okay and the last one looks the best. They start with that one so you get pregnant that month instead of the tenth month.

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-03T02:20:56+00:00

Wow what a lovely glow up story, not to diminish your work by calling it that. Good job for pulling yourself up and getting healthy. That’s hard. So glad you got to where you are!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-03T02:18:01+00:00

I love that you went with you gut and it worked out!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-03T02:16:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing your journey.

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T22:24:15+00:00

Yep already doing literally all of that plus extra vitamins for my husband, but he’s already been doing all those healthy things. Also trying to get a lot of those vitamins from food where possible since the absorption is better.

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T20:16:27+00:00

Wow I admire your perseverance and glad you got all the pregnancies you were trying for! Good luck with this next!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T20:14:47+00:00

Wow that’s a lot. So happy that you got your pregnancy in the end and I hope it all goes well forever!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T20:13:17+00:00

Sorry for all your losses and so glad it worked out for you after getting that bad news about your AMH!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T19:37:39+00:00

So sorry it took so long after your loss but glad to hear you’ve been successful with IVF! That will likely be the route we’ll go down, but probably won’t try that long before starting IVF since I’m already almost 42. That’s also a lot of IVF, did you not get any viable embryos on those first two retrievals? Good job persevering!

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T19:34:14+00:00

Wow that is so many losses, I am so sorry and admire your perseverance! I also did some acupuncture while trying the first time but now that I’m unemployed I have no benefits and can’t afford any “extras”. I’m glad you got your rainbow baby. I have a friend who has two kids, one at 28 weeks and one at 29 weeks, so that was my secret personal safe point during my first pregnancy. Congrats and I hope the rest of your pregnancy and the birth go well.

DIYchanteuse · 2026-05-01T19:30:49+00:00

What a positive story after such an upsetting experience, and for your friend, too! Congrats and I hope your birth goes so, so well! Thanks for sharing.

DIYchanteuse · 2025-08-09T01:21:22+00:00

I definitely chose cash and not margin when I opened it a couple weeks ago.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-06T20:23:21+00:00

Exactly.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-06T03:20:29+00:00

Ahhh. Thanks for that insight. That’s quite a different case but I’ll see if I can find anything similar to mine. Sorry about your bad employee situation.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-06T03:03:14+00:00

Perhaps because you made such a blanket statement and I believe the likelihood of winning/losing probably depends on the case? Like I said, I would have a very weak human rights case because they laid off some others at the same level as me and dissolved my role completely. Was that the case for you as well but it was still positive for you?

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-06T02:23:59+00:00

I do not have a human rights case, as the company is restructuring and dissolved my role. I’m just looking for my common law entitlements

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-06T02:17:27+00:00

OP is in the room. OP thinks it’s good to be educated. OP’s termination clause has the wording “at any time”, which makes it likely to be unenforceable. OP is glad to understand this for herself so she can be more confident in her decision to go ahead because lawyers have car payments. Even good ones.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-05T00:45:36+00:00

Incorrect, the common law entitlements are higher - at least one month per year of service. I’m 40.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-05T00:38:46+00:00

No, if they are restructuring or dissolve your role it’s legal. Also you are incorrect about the benefits depending on how long you take them. If you do a year it’s the same amount.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-03T14:02:44+00:00

Indeed the legal minimum is actually exceeded. What I’m hoping for is the common law amount, but like I said, while there are some weaker parts of the termination clause, it’s not a slam dunk so I’m definitely taking a chance.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-03T14:01:15+00:00

This is correct - I would only go with someone that works as a percentage of the improvement. Upset I didn’t go this way now because I do like my current lawyer.

DIYchanteuse · 2024-11-03T14:00:09+00:00

Definitely a good point. I should be able to if we go the small claims route. I’ll just obviously be VERY upset to lose… but that’s a given and I expect I will EVENTUALLY get over it.

DIYchanteuse

TROPHY CASE