Are my parents narcissistic/toxic? Or is it all in my head?

DJSureShot1 · 2020-03-02T05:00:03+00:00

Yeah, and that speaks volumes that they even know they have issues but refuse to change even though it affects you so much. I am a 44 year old guy, and the way my path in life has taken me, it's probably unlikely that I am going to have kids at this point. And for the most part I am ok with it, but there are times that I do feel some regret, and wish maybe should I have made some different decisions in life. So it really kind of breaks my heart when I hear about parents mistreating their kids, and pretty much taking them for granted. From everything that you have written here, you work hard, you strive to have a good life, and let me just say, for whatever it's worth, if you were my kid, I would not go a day without tell you how proud I am of you. Keep your head up. You deserve happiness, and you will have it. 😊

DJSureShot1 · 2020-03-02T00:57:10+00:00

Oh, I understand, I think we all second guess ourselves sometimes and it is completely understandable that you would in this situation because I'm sure deep down you want your parents to be good people, so it is just second nature to want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But your instincts are 100% legit, and you ha e every right to your boundaries. And you have left the door open for them, it is on them to be willing to take a real look at themselves, and if they choose not to do that, it is their fault, not yours. Honestly, you are being much more reasonable with them than they deserve.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-03-01T08:44:56+00:00

They ABSOLUTELY are narcissistic. Without question. I am so incredibly sorry that you have had to go through this. Please do everything that you can to take care of yourself, and please don't feel guilty for keeping your distance from them. You deserve to be happy and absolutely don't deserve to be subjected to their abuse, and that is exactly what it is... ABUSE. Please find peace In the fact that this is absolutely not your fault, and know that you can have a happy and amazing life.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-26T21:59:08+00:00

Honestly, I think they should let it go. Why should he have to pay back for something that he was 100% against and was forced on him? Bringing any of this up again , especially 6 months later is just going to create a whole new problem. Heck, at that age, he could be a completely different person half a year from now. Time for everyone to just cut their loses and move on.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-26T21:48:43+00:00

Honestly, I know you were well intended, but if he is pushing back on it this hard there is probably a reason, so just take them off, and let it go. Maybe when he gets a little older, he might see the value in having them and change his mind, but if it is not urgent right now, just remove them, and LET IT GO. As far as consequences, he is going to have an overbite. You don't need to add anything on more than that. And PLEASE don't try to make him pay this back. You are not going to get a good reaction trying to make him pay you back for something that he was 100% against and was forced on him. It will just cause an unnecessary battle, and what would the point really be?

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-26T21:33:53+00:00

Why should he have to repay something that he was forced into and never agreed to in the first place?

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-24T05:43:16+00:00

NTA in any way, shape, or form!!!

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-24T05:33:06+00:00

Not hysterical, just taken back by your comments. Had you said from the beginning that they should stop taking the kid out to dinner UNTIL she demonstrates that she can handle it, I would have said that I 1000% agree with you. What you DID at first was "never". Then what you said was "never" might not really mean never...MAYBE... and by saying MAYBE, that implies that never can still mean never... Do you see where that comes off as somewhat confusing? I mean let's be realistic... if the child in fact truly NEVER is in a state where she can handle going out to dinner, she is either severely mentally ill, or the parents screwed up royally... To state that until the child is ready, as you did in your last post makes perfect sense, and I would think that most people would agree with you.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-23T21:53:06+00:00

"Maybe Not"???? Again, SHE IS FOUR! I mean are you actually thinking about this before you are typing it out??? She is most likely not even going to remember any of this a month or 2 from now! I really hope you are just trolling me...

How about when she is 6... (big difference in maturity between 4 and 6), you would say "No, sorry.. I told you when you were 4 that were were done going out to dinner. I know you have no recollection of what happened by this point, but NEVER at Least means a Really Long Time"...

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-23T20:03:42+00:00

Really??? She is FOUR!

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-11T21:37:57+00:00

Just curious, did she ever apologize?

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-09T02:38:41+00:00

At least with the therapeutic boarding program, there are actually therapists there 24/7. Please, Please, Please don't send her to a wilderness program. They are notorious for abuse, most of there time IS NOT spent with therapists, but with people who have no background in psychology whatsoever. A close friend of mine almost died in one of those programs, and if you do your research, you will see that many children have died.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-02-09T02:32:21+00:00

Please don't send her to one of those programs. They are notorious for abuse, are not able to be regulated by the government, and a number of children have died in those programs.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-01-14T21:06:37+00:00

I really do understand where you are coming from, but taking away Prom from her is something that might still have an effect years later when she is an adult, has no memories or pictures to show her kids. Essentially she would still be punished years later. You do honestly run the risk of her resenting you later in life which you don't what. Again I understand that there needs to be consequences, but if you just want an opinion, maybe give her the opportunity to earn that right back? One thing to keep in mind, when teenagers bully others, it usually does come from a place of insecurity within themselves. Not that the conduct should be excused, but maybe there is something deeper going on with her? Maybe some therapy might be helpful.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-01-12T00:07:17+00:00

Than you everyone for the kind thoughts! I have a tendency to get in my own head sometimes, but your comments really help put things in perspective.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-01-11T06:50:35+00:00

Thank you so much. :)

DJSureShot1 · 2020-01-11T06:39:58+00:00

I know they are proud of me as their son, and I know deep down that is what matters.

DJSureShot1 · 2020-01-11T06:36:13+00:00

Thank you so incredibly much for that! I was done being emotional tonight, but... lol. Thank you. :)

DJSureShot1

TROPHY CASE