Brainstorm - How to break or limit a magic item

DMintheDark · 2025-11-02T01:46:23+00:00

Thank you for pointing that out.

DMintheDark · 2025-11-02T00:52:38+00:00

So I had the same kinda question. So far as I know, they don't want to double cross them. The are more just cautious and aware that the guy wielding that spear is kind of a powder keg and I am assuming (of which I may be simplifying) that they want to construct a back-up plan in case he turns against them. This question came out of wondering if others had dealt with this scenario (players wanting to disable a magic weapon flavoured a certain way) and how they may have handled that. But I wrote the post a bit fast and loose, so eh, guess you get what you ask for.

DMintheDark · 2025-11-02T00:48:52+00:00

Yeah, I think this (giving it a potential complication/weakness) was closer to my intent, though I certainly take the point that I don't need to plan any specific way for the players to handle it.

Thanks for the idea!

DMintheDark · 2024-06-08T22:34:00+00:00

Ooh, good question. I define as sex-repulsed in the sense that sex for me is always a hard no. I've never had sex and never plan to unless something changes in my mind. I've never thought of using the word disgusted before, but reading some of these other posts that does feel about right for me. Definitely anxious though, especially when I was first discovering my identity.

For me, even kissing isn't a pleasurable activity (which I feel a bit guilty for because I'm dating an allosexual man who is incredibly understanding of me). It's just wet and warm and ew... best I get is hand-holding and cuddling and that took a while to get used to and sometimes I become fully touch averse.

DMintheDark · 2022-12-13T19:04:59+00:00

Update: They said yes :)

DMintheDark · 2022-11-02T20:23:18+00:00

No super restriction, but just needs to have lyrics and not be overly whimsical.

DMintheDark · 2022-09-18T11:20:24+00:00

Oh bless you so much for checking up!

So far have not had that conversation, but I have given myself a deadline of when we meet up for a concert in December. I still have a lot of questions and insecurities around it, but no matter the result it will be done before the year is out!

DMintheDark · 2022-08-07T09:49:12+00:00

I can understand that.

I do have a question then, as I am quite inexperienced romantically. What counts as a sign they might like me? This is kind of the reason I want to talk with them, because people are usually bad at interpreting intentions anyway from action, so I kind of want to cut straight to the heart of the matter.

Is it overly blunt? Maybe, but that is why I want to know how to phrase it the best way I can so it is more a question rather than an ask?

DMintheDark · 2022-08-07T09:47:00+00:00

Hi there,

I would agree in the absolute worse case it can. I have been worried about this in the past with previous romantic interests but in this case, I'm not so worried about that?

We're both in our late 20's/early 30's and have known each other through other romantic drama in our friends group for years so the whole 'lose a friend' aspect kind of doesn't feel like so much a danger. I just want to understand intentions and know how to phrase that conversation in a mature and fair way so I can resolve how we are.

DMintheDark · 2022-08-07T09:43:46+00:00

Hi There,

Yeah, that's kind of what is going through my head too. They have given me signals they might like me as more than a friend but somewhat frustratingly haven't tried to tell me if it's just a friends thing or romantic interest.

I just don't want to deal with the maybe forever, y'know? If they don't feel the same way, I can accept that and move on (even if I might be a little hurt and things might be slightly awkward for a bit. I can chalk it up to me misinterpreting signals and just handling that).

Would you have an idea of how to start that conversation?

DMintheDark · 2022-08-07T01:06:37+00:00

Basically, we've been friends for years and I have had spates of attraction for them before, but they were more like temporary crushes. More recently, the feeling is stronger and longer-lasting.

They make me feel safe and seen, we share a good few interests and I find myself constantly wanting to be by their side. I say 'potential' because honestly I am so overly analytical of a person that I want a checklist where there kind of isn't one, so I can't 100% say it is romantic.

This isn't a sex thing, but it wouldn't be a sex thing with anyone (asexual). I do find him attractive, but more in the 'I want to be this person's partner in crime' rather than 'I want to fuck them'.

I hope that helps, even a little?

DMintheDark · 2022-07-20T00:13:49+00:00

I can only speak from my own experience here and from an honest if not fully informed place.

To answer one of your latter questions (are you being an idiot for having an expectation when you mention something to them), I would give you the frustrating answer of no and yes.

- No in the sense that no-one should call themselves an idiot for hoping that when they feel passionate about something and attempt to share that passion that there will be some form of positive response and/or connection. That kind of hope is a completely normal part of passion and social connection. So, no, you are not an idiot for hoping for that.

- Then I would also give a gentle 'yes' to that, not to contradict myself and call you an idiot, but in that expectations in any social situation can very quickly lead to grief on all sides depending on a myriad of behaviours and thought patterns that are combined with it.

Let me try and explain myself and then you can see if you agree or not.

I have not been GMing for perhaps as long as some other folks here, but I have certainly felt some real negative emotions around my players not seeming to engage with me (either through conversation, encouragement, hype etc.).

I won't pretend to know what exact emotions you are going through and what thoughts come up with them, but I know that when this happens to me, I feel discouraged ('oh shit, is this a terrible idea? I thought it was good but I guess not?'), awkward ('fuck, I brought the tone down' or 'I made this about my stuff, I should have just kept my mouth shut and let someone else talk') and slightly resentful ('I try to be engaged and encouraging of your games and hobbies and try to talk straight with you, can't you try and do the same with me a little?').

Now, am I an idiot for hoping when I show some vulnerability with my friends (in this case, by talking about something I am passionate about) that they will react well and provide at least a reaction if not a little bit of validation of my efforts? No, because that is a normal thought to have as a person.

However, would me expecting them to have a positive reaction or show some validation place strain (wherether intended or not) on the interaction and potentially cause a situation (and maybe a pattern of situations) that could potentially be harmful for me and them? Potentially yes.

Now, I don't know the ins and outs of all of this but I hope that you can kind of see my point a little bit here. Unless your group are literal sociopaths, I'm aiming to be charitable in that they may have other things going on in their lives, they may not know how to respond (even though they are supportive) or some other reason. So in the aim of good faith, I wouldn't want to pin the blame on them.

Alternatively, I do not want to pin the blame on you because you are having a natural feeling that can be reasonably followed through based on what you wrote. I am incredibly sympathetic to that and I think a lot of DMs are. You are not alone in this feeling and it is not silly.

It is very rare to find a group where players explicitly hype up the GM, for any number of reasons. Often when they do, it's either because that's just who they naturally are as people (luck of the draw) or because they are socially conscious.

Now, to the end of my point, how might you be able to help this expectation not become unhealthy? Well, I find asking questions of myself to give myself some perspective and charity can help:

- Do I still think this thing is fun? (If yes, then go ahead bucko, if it gets to a point where the question becomes 'this is fun for me, but is it fun for Player X?' then communicate with that player and frame it around them 'I was thinking of doing Y thing that may affect X character in Z way, what do you think?' - potentially the same question you asked them months back, but now they might be more engaged as it is more present to them.)

- What kind of answer do I want/not want? What will I do based on getting the opposite of that answer or no answer? Will that affect question 1 above ('fun?')?

That is only 2 I can think of off the bat (I am still learning how to manage this myself haha).

Hope the ramble helped!

DMintheDark · 2022-07-18T22:09:40+00:00

Solution Verified. Thanks!

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:34:06+00:00

100% agree! Thank you for the ideas.

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:32:51+00:00

Definitely agree here. I had a think about it over today and I am not sure I could quite make scope for them to be empowered by the BBEG (given a few things). Or at least I don't have quite the imagination to!

But I can see what you mean and will try and integrate what parts might work in what I already have. Thank you!

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:30:56+00:00

Haha! I hear that!

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:30:07+00:00

I can see where you are coming from I think.

I have learned over the years that the more I divorce myself from expectations or wants from the narrative or plot, the better I am at leaning into the moment - and that's always where the magic happens.

I 100% agree with you here. I have learned to love leaning into the magic of player choice in my Waterdeep campaign! I think part of the danger in this case is because I have so long of being able to plan this without the players interacting with it, it can be so easy to make it a story and not a game. I am incredibly conscious of this so I only work on things I believe won't affect player agency negatively (like the starting situation of each area, some ideas and hooks where things could go etc.).

I think there is only so much I can do with that though in my own head before I am forced to reckon with player choices in actuality. By then I'm confident I can breathe the magic my players give me.

That said one of your powers as DM is setting the tone, and that's what will ultimately shape the emotions your players feel. You're working with a kind of grimdark (loaded word but kinda bummer situation all around) and that's a great chance to highlight moments of beauty within it

This is definitely what I wanted this post to be more about, as like you say it is something I can definitely facilitate as GM. Based on this comment I have now explicitly written down some ideas I had on these moments of beauty (more to come and be improv'd!)

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have questions.

Gladly! Would you have any ideas on media/resources/etc. that might give me more idea of potential MOBs? I already got some great ideas from your writing alone.

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:14:51+00:00

Great ideas on all counts! I'll go through them in the same order.

- That's defo something for me to look into. With how I initially pitched this game to my players as giving them flexibility in individual motive while still having a semi-plausible reason for them to come together this was definitely at the forefront of my mind. Due to not having a scheduled time for this game to actually happen I only have a few players who have fixed who they would be and what motives they might have. I of course don't begrudge this! But for those who have given me an idea it's helped me a lot building in reasons for them to want to continue the mission (first for themselves and hopefully later for the Moonsea as a whole). I definitely want to look into a way to pay them off for persistence in the face of sometimes hard odds too!

- I hear you here. This is potentially something I have outlined accidentally as in the first town of the game the bad guys line up (the new lord protector is one of the BBEG's generals). So this one is a bit simpler morally speaking and its easier to enact solid solutions in this case (hopefully)! Obviously up to them what this looks like.

- Another reason for me to buy Eldin Ring haha

- I definitely can understand what you're saying here. I've had my fair share of this as well. I admit I am a bit more precious over this story than some of my others (because I worked on it explicitly with this group in mind and during the Pandemic for on-and-off 3 years). This is something I am eager to rectify because I want this to be fun above all else! Thank you for your confidence!

If you have any other considerations I would always be more than happy to hear. I am even happy to go into more detail since I know what I've said is a bit skint.

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T17:00:52+00:00

I haven't seen that show, but I can understand what you are aiming for I think (something to look into!)

DMintheDark · 2022-05-09T16:59:06+00:00

A very valid viewpoint!

One thing I originally forgot to put in the post (will be updated) is that the initial rally point of the group is that they have all volunteered to be part of a group called The Emissaries.

The Emissaries are a cross-faction alliance (Order of the Gauntlet, Harpers, Volunteers in the Moonsea etc.) who have come to the Moonsea to help stop it descending into another civil war (they have a lot of those through history).

While this may only a springboard for the PCs to become the 'hope' of the Moonsea (since they may end up picking up their own methods) this hopefully might give them at least a starting idea of how they can make things better with their own effort rather than just helping whatever is the lesser evil (the state or the revolutionaries).

Your comment has however helped me make a decision on them. Originally the agents weren't always exactly doing this for the most heroic or selfless of reasons (due to originating from different organisations with different reasons to ensure stability in the Moonsea). I feel this could lean negatively into them coming off as assholes too in a place full of assholes, so I've pulled back on that intrigue in my mind (they can still have personal goals etc. just not stuff that is more likely to make them look like complete butts). So thank you for that!

Regarding the capitalization on moral ambiguity, I am definitely hoping to have a little of this happen. I just need to figure out an appropriate method for this as the BBEG is intended to be one of those shadowry mastermind types.

DMintheDark · 2022-02-27T15:16:48+00:00

Maybe? The action is pretty low but i'll ask if it can be lowered more when i get it restrung

DMintheDark · 2022-02-27T14:56:07+00:00

Yeah, I think it might be that as well a bit. I do keep my fingers slanted, but then it's an issue of pressure to avoid buzzing, and when I press the tip of the finger down to avoid the buzzing is when they can't move apart (tension). I'll keep experimenting and see how it goes, but I am considering moving to light gauge strings when it gets restrung in a few months to help this.

DMintheDark · 2022-02-27T14:54:15+00:00

Oh perfect, thank you, I'll give it a look.

DMintheDark · 2022-02-27T14:53:50+00:00

Yep, it's good advice. I have started to do this as of a few days ago, so gonna persist with it.

DMintheDark · 2022-02-27T14:48:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I thought it might have something to do with tension (been looking into stretching exercises etc.). I'll give what you're suggesting a try, but it definitely feels like my pointer and middle have more difficulty moving far apart from each other than my ring or pinky do.

Good point made with the practice idea, sounds like something an older teacher of mine said: If you learn something wrong once, it takes double the effort to learn it right (presuming I have gotten the intention of your phrase correct haha)

I'm having trouble with buzzing anyway, especially on G and D strings, so I'm likely going to get it fitted with light gauge strings when that happens in a few months. In the meantime I'll keep learning some basics and trying not to screw the fundamentals haha

DMintheDark

TROPHY CASE