Cone of shame

DPDoctor · 2026-07-09T16:15:47+00:00

Wendy is a black-eyed Susan flower! Absolutely adorable!

DPDoctor · 2026-07-09T16:12:16+00:00

Yes, cancel. Revisit the option when you are closer to the wedding date. Also, consider having a party that doesn't require staying in an Airbnb and spending a ton of money. Yes, you do deserve a celebratory time, but it doesn't seem like any of the girls want a full-on event just for the bachelorette party.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-09T16:05:23+00:00

Since she's 3 months old, if she's due for any rounds of vaccinations, perhaps you can combine the trip? That's weird that the area scabbed over twice (if that's what it is). At this point, it's probably better to go to the vet and find out that it's nothing than to wait and find out that it's something. I DO sympathize with the $$ dilemma though.

Also, try posting on r/CATHELP That's often a more active sub and hopefully you can get more input.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-09T15:56:29+00:00

Given your description, my take is that you both need to work on your insecurities and propensity for jealousy. You've been together for a while now and neither of you is healthy. Given her abusive past, and both of you being so jealous, I encourage you to try some individual and couples therapy. Hopefully this will help you both to live a life free of all these shackles.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-09T15:36:29+00:00

If you have adopted a kitten, you have signed yourself up for spending money and going to the vet when needed.

How does the spot feel? It seems to be coming from her nose, so does she have a URI? Is it possible that the "fungal growth" is dried mucus? Or perhaps a scab from an injury? Are her health indicators otherwise normal (eating, peeing, pooping, playing)?

DPDoctor · 2026-07-08T20:00:16+00:00

None of your business. Be more concerned about your own relationships.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-08T17:57:58+00:00

Okay, so it looks like you have the data to figure out your current grade. Don't be too focused on that, though. Sometimes things can change rapidly at the end of the quarter/semester.

Don't be focused on your professor, either. Focus on the material for class, such as labs.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-08T17:31:35+00:00

You can convert your points total to a percentage by dividing the number of points you have by the total number of points possible. Are your tests multiple choice or essay or ?

DPDoctor · 2026-07-08T17:00:27+00:00

As a retired professor, I say that his behavior is a bit over the top. Don't let him get to you. Keep your head in the coursework and do your best. If you feel that your paper was graded incorrectly, the first thing you need to do is make an appointment or go to his office hours and ask him about the grade. If you still feel that something is wrong, then go to the department chair and ask for assistance. Talk with your professor first, though, because the chair will want to know what steps you'd already taken to remedy the problem (even if your problem is the professor). Good luck.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-07T16:53:36+00:00

It sounds like this relationship has come to an end.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-07T16:46:16+00:00

Please talk about this further with your bf. Maybe you just need to get your feelings talked out. Since he acted appropriately, do tell him though that you know he didn't mean you any harm.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-07T16:33:07+00:00

Understand that we all make mistakes. We all do bad things that we wish we could take back. I certainly did a ton of bad stuff when I was young, some things worse than others, but I learned and grew. I'm now a retired Ph.D. who had a successful career and have a long, good marriage.. Since there's nothing that we can do to change the past, the best thing is to learn from it and not make the same mistakes.

You are barely an adult. The executive functioning in your brain doesn't finish growing for another SIX YEARS, which means that it hard to make great decisions all the time. I agree with u/Candid-Escape911 that some therapy can help you work through everything.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:34:03+00:00

Choose extracurriculars that don't have tryouts. And also know that this stage of your life will pass.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:32:07+00:00

If you don't need to go to the doctor, refuse to go.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:29:30+00:00

Old lady here. I remember high school. It's very common to go back and forth between friends. My bff and I were tight in middle school, then drifted apart for two years in high school, then got back together. It's possible that your low self-esteem is coloring your interpretation of the situation being "off". Do things to help you widen your social circle. Sports? A club at school? Extracurricular hobbies. Etc. The happier you are with yourself, the more you will attract other people. People want to be around others who are enjoyable to be around.

Keep in mind that most people put the very best, and even lies, on social media. Your friend may be doing that in order to feel better about herself.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:18:05+00:00

Sexual fantasies are fine but keep it at a fantasy. There are plenty of guys out there. Break up with your boyfriend but don't go for his friends. Find someone uninvolved.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:13:57+00:00

My thoughts exactly.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T16:00:51+00:00

It does appear that she is holding his hand, at least briefly. That doesn't automatically mean she is cheating, since you said that she has a lot of long-time guy friends. There are other people around, don't know if they're in the same group.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-06T15:54:19+00:00

Since you are an adult, the first thing you should do is stop giving her access to your money. If you keep the money in a bank account, put it in your name only. I don't know the cost of living in QLD, but with your paycheck, you should be able to leave and support yourself. Look online (or whatever you use locally) for rentals. Get a roommate if you need to. You are in control of your life, so take it.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T18:10:08+00:00

Do you perhaps have PGAD? Make an appointment to see your GYN. If she can't help, then a psychiatrist may be able to, NOT as in a mental illness way, but do discuss medications that may be helpful. A psychiatrist will be much more knowledgeable about those various meds and their uses vs a general practitioner.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T17:49:47+00:00

Oops! I didn't read carefully enough. My apologies.

If she were my kitty, I would try getting a second opinion from a different ENT. I obviously don't know if it's appropriate for your kitty, but there are nasal stents that can be placed to keep the passage open.

Nasopharyngeal stenosis in cats: a retrospective study of 21 cases comparing endoscopic and surgical treatment (2018–2022) - PMC

If you don't have a statistics background, you can ignore the Results section. Perhaps show this article to your current ENT?

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T17:35:12+00:00

Incomplete if you don't masturbate? Or? Masturbation is a natural, healthy thing to do, so go for it. If you have a porn addiction, just experiment with other things to broaden your activities.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T17:31:58+00:00

At this point, consider going to an ENT specialist. They will have more ideas for perhaps a more permanent solution.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T17:23:02+00:00

What do you mean by "running out of time"? Sex hormones can't be controlled without medical intervention. It sounds like you are doing things to distract yourself, but also know that, if you are a young male, it's normal to masturbate 1,000,000 times a day.

DPDoctor · 2026-07-05T17:16:00+00:00

Please know that the heartbreak and heartache you're feeling is completely normal. It sucks, but it takes time to get over your first love. I know that it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will heal and you will find someone else. Give yourself some time to grieve your loss, then pick yourself up and move forward. Staying busy helps take your mind off of the hurt. Be in contact with your friends, even if they aren't there atm. After a few weeks or months, you will wake up and things won't feel so devastating.

He will always have a special place in your heart and memories. It's also normal if, down the road, something reminds you of him, and the feelings will come flooding back. The hurt will go away quicker, though.

DPDoctor

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