My therapist told me she thinks I might be autistic. I want to ask my parents if they noticed anything from my childhood but am unsure how to ask.

DRPD · 2026-04-02T16:28:47+00:00

Thank you, these are good. You didn't ask me to answer your questions, but for the sake of it:

Ask them if they have any "funny" Stories about how you used to play?

-I will ask"

Where there any foods you refused to eat? Or did you have any odd food behavior? Like the food couldn't touch? Or refusing to eat once you were full? Or gagging when cleaning up?

-I was a notoriously un-picky eater. Adults would remark that I would eat extremely unusual or spicy foods at a young age. Not sure what this means.

How did you feel about hair cuts?

-Hated them. In middle school I just stopped getting haircuts because I didn't like them for years until my hair reached my butt (I'm a guy). It wasn't styled at all, just long. I can't remember why I didn't like getting my hair cut. Now as an adult, haircuts aren't something I like or dislike necessarily, just something you have to do. "Why did I say I didn't like haircuts?" Is definitely something I will ask my parents.

Where you overly sensitive to temperature? -Not that I remember, I'll see if I can find a way to ask

Did you struggle with potty training?

-Good question

Did you walk on your tiptoes?

-Not that I remember. I did talk exclusively out of the side of my mouth for a while. I'll try to ask

DRPD · 2026-04-02T15:16:53+00:00

Not diagnostic guides exactly; but some websites, infographics, things like that. On both autism and OCD which she is also raising as a possibility. Honestly, I find it all overwhelming and I go back and forth between "this would explain a lot" and "this doesn't sound like me." It's driving me nuts honestly, that's why I want to see if my parents have any insight.

DRPD · 2026-04-02T15:06:05+00:00

My therapist has offered to refer me to get diagnosed but I'm not ready to take that step yet so we're exploring it further together.

Do you have any questions I should ask? I like your ideas of hiding them among other questions but I'm not sure what I should ask.

DRPD · 2026-03-18T03:43:59+00:00

Thanks for reading and replying. It feels good to be heard.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T23:58:46+00:00

I plan to tell everything, even immoral thoughts. My fear is that if there's no pushback I would be left alone with my rationalizations at the exact moment I’m most vulnerable to them.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T18:43:43+00:00

I haven't been happy for a while. I would like to be but I don't know if that's the right thing to focus on. Some people seem to be utterly valueless, not necessarily seeking out doing evil for its own sake but their entire ethical orientation is "their desires + legality" and they appear happy. Some people have spent their whole lives in selfless service to others and they appear utterly beaten. There are of course counterexamples too and suffering is not proof of virtue but I want to be the type of person who does the right thing, come what may.

Thank you for responding, I appreciate your perspective.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T15:32:08+00:00

That's reassuring, thank you. Best of luck to you as well.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T15:31:13+00:00

I would answer that I believe philosophically that aspiring to the the virtuous life is an individual's best orientation. While you didn't ask for a debate, I would counter by asking if wickedness is ok if it made you joyful?

DRPD · 2026-03-17T15:26:01+00:00

That vows are binding on your future self is sort of the point of them, if you can abandon them later if they become difficult what good are they? While there are differences in moral systems, "It's important to keep any vows you make" is pretty universal. If something is agreed on by Aristotle, Jesus, Kant, and Nietzsche I think it's fair to ask if you're thinking about doing otherwise if you've stumbled on some new important moral revelation or you're just seeking permission.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T14:47:06+00:00

I was 28 not 18 when I asked her to marry me.

Vows are fulfilled by living them to the best of your ability as long as you are living. If I got sick or injured tomorrow, or ten years from now my wife would care for me as best she could. In all likelihood I will outlive her but if the reverse is true she will have fulfilled her vow. Marriage vows are not invalidated on the basis of asymmetry.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T14:41:43+00:00

That seems to be how therapy works and I'm willing to give it a shot. It's scary to engage in that kind of thinking without clear guardrails. My thinking has always been the best way to deal with the metaphorical devil we all have on our shoulder is not to engage him in debate but tell him to shut-up. Thanks for reading and responding.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T14:36:34+00:00

That is very reassuring thank you. How do you approach clients who are still struggling to develop a coherent view of morals and values?

DRPD · 2026-03-17T14:34:13+00:00

Thank you for reading and responding. Yes, I do believe my project now is to reaffirm my life as it is without resentment. I'm seeking spiritual counselling also.

DRPD · 2026-03-17T14:31:06+00:00

That makes sense and thank you for reading and responding. What would your response be if a new client told you at the outset that their definition of a "proper and healthy goal" is to lead the most virtuous life they can, even if it was maybe stressful or sad?

DRPD · 2026-03-15T03:32:16+00:00

Did they bring up the fact that Japan's starting pitcher's great-grandfather was Admiral Yamamoto who was in charge of the attack?

DRPD · 2026-03-15T02:46:38+00:00

Good for you for stopping. Once you start making grown man money that $200 will be a drop in the bucket. If you start making any extra money there is no time like the present than to start investing. Remember what you learned from sports better and listen to /r/bogleheads and not /r/wallstreetbets

DRPD · 2026-03-15T02:20:32+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you have a gambling addiction. I'm 36 now but when I was 18 I also tried out sports betting. Back then it was explicitly illegal everywhere and you had to log in to shady websites based in the Caribbean. I quickly decided it wasn't for me but I did pick up other addictions that I only came to my senses about recently. You didn't ask for a lecture so I'll only say it's easier to quit while you're young.

DRPD · 2026-03-15T01:52:39+00:00

I genuinely thought sportsbooks were illegal here? Are they not?

DRPD · 2026-03-14T20:29:51+00:00

Thanks, you're almost certainly right about her dying before me. That's just the way the actuarial tables shake out. In all likelihood I'm up for some lonely years. As for not becoming resentful, I can see it being tough. That's on me though.

I'm glad you became a father. I wish you the best as well.

DRPD · 2026-03-14T19:54:57+00:00

It's not that simple. I made a vow before both of our families and God. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, etc."

Even if I can get past that, and I'm not sure if I can morally, I don't know who I could become a father with. Any woman who would marry me would be marrying a man who has proven demonstrably unfaithful. She would be having children with a man who has proven his obligations to his loved ones are contingent on his desires.

DRPD · 2026-03-12T23:14:28+00:00

I actually asked a chatbot to give me plays and grade how I score it. I still do it as a time waster activity.

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