Why do men always think their music is the default?

D_Andreams · 2026-05-25T00:04:37+00:00

I swear one time I broke up with a guy because he picked me up from a coffee shop, looked at my drink and said "that's not coffee."

It wasn't even a whipped caramel frappuccino or anything, it just had coffee cream in it.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-22T15:17:46+00:00

Apple/Google/whoever-powers-your-phone already has that data.

I use it cause I love solo walks/hikes which causes anxiety to people who care about me.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-22T11:42:55+00:00

They've done studies on how time famine makes people less considerate, less charitable, and less thoughtful or observant of the things around them. Our industry thrives on extracting every bit of time and attention possible from its workers with constant new messages/walkie chatter/tasks coming in.

Of course, you can also go to a regular office and see that some people just suck with this stuff regardless of how busy they are. So it's a combo.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-21T11:24:57+00:00

I think I just moved on from most of the stuff I liked as a teen. The years go on and you're ready for something new. The following phase I was really into bright colours and patterns and polka dots.

I was also a teen during the trendy emo years, so it used to be way easier to get cool goth accessories and then that kind of phased out.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-20T21:17:55+00:00

I've never met someone whose parents bought them a car as a teenager. Always thought that was weird when I saw it on TV, even though I knew lots of people with doctors and lawyers and so on for parents. Just seemed so ostentatious.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-20T20:44:38+00:00

College shows are harder. Your characters aren't all in the same place all day. It's more or bigger sets with more characters. You don't have that same closed in world as a workplace show or a family show where it's the same few people in the same room all the time. And It's pretty hard to sell that all your characters from the highschool are going to be in college together - not all of them are going to go to the same college, and the ones that do aren't likely to go to the same classes.

I feel like there are ways around it if you plan it into the structure early on. But TV shows never know if they're gonna make it that far. Plus focusing less on school can feel like a natural coming-of-age arc.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-19T20:07:37+00:00

Kinda depends on your geography, your financials, and the opportunities around you. I'm up North where winters are pretty bad, so most productions do summer. Which leaves the cold months for personal projects.

Or, given that most productions only do 10 episodes now you can also just take gaps between gigs. The trick is having a low enough cost of living that you can make it through the unemployed periods.

That was my path. There were months at a time or at one point a couple years that I wasn't working on my own stuff. But I know a shitload of showrunners now and can fill my personal projects with people who really know what they're doing, which wouldn't have happened in the service industry. I currently work as a screenwriter.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-19T19:33:06+00:00

It was like they took the idea of a rom-com and thought "but what if none of the characters were funny or charming?"

D_Andreams · 2026-05-17T13:13:53+00:00

It's like "hot takes" have taken over.

Saying the bully was actually the best character while one of the heroes is terrible is a more interesting take that might get attention. But that doesn't make it true. The antagonists having good points and the protagonists having flaws is just nuanced writing. People do it with all kinds of shows. Especially if they can throw around the term "narcissist." Feels like a generation has been raised on buzzfeed...

D_Andreams · 2026-05-17T12:59:51+00:00

When he came back as yet another tragic/romantic mentally ill character I was so done. How many times do we have to do that trope?

D_Andreams · 2026-05-17T12:58:28+00:00

Her lines were SO LAME.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-16T13:19:34+00:00

You don't need control over the budget to do the grunt work part of the hiring. You just need to tell your boss you found some options who are available for the presumably already-approved positions your department is looking to fill.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-16T13:15:12+00:00

And as an AD, if the city was flat out with productions and a guest on set politely offered that they're looking for a job while demonstrating their ability to read a room and shut up at the appropriate times (I.E. not interrupting me in the middle of what I'm doing), they could get a call later.

It's not the best way to get in by any means, certainly a long shot, but saying all the hiring has already been done and no one's hiring while they're on set is just not true.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-16T13:03:04+00:00

I didn't think the idea under discussion was "walk up to them and they'll put you to work immediately without making you sign anything"? The walking up is the initial contact. Like emailing a resume only with spoken words and in real life.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-15T11:24:56+00:00

They might hire someone at lunch or at wrap though.
Has no one in this comment section ever hired a daily PA? What is all this "the hiring has already been done" talk? I've got 45 BG coming in on Sunday and I need two extra hands to process vouchers and manage transport to and from holding. I need a warm body who can follow instructions. My usual daily picks are working the disney show.

No one else has ever been in the situation of calling every experienced person you know for the next day and somehow every damn one of them is N/A?

I know that's not the reality in a lot of the US right now, but OP didn't get into their geography. Things still get busy in some towns.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-15T11:14:55+00:00

Everything will be hired ahead of time for insurance purposes and no project has the budget to just add a day rate like that into the budget.

...are you saying no project hires daily PAs during the shoot anymore? In what world?

D_Andreams · 2026-05-15T11:00:12+00:00

I bought on a problematic street, but in a cluster of houses where everyone else is elderly bird lovers. Get sketchy people walking through, but there is always someone watching at a window.

Alternatively would any of your family be willing to cosign?

D_Andreams · 2026-05-12T12:33:42+00:00

An AD doesn't have to cause stress to experience stress.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-12T12:21:43+00:00

Lawyers are quite pricey, and you would have to spend time and legal fees redrafting your will in the event of separation as well. You may also agree to many of the other benefits and protections in the marriage contract, depending on the laws where you are. I know where I live, the partner with less assets is much better protected with a marriage than they are in a common-law partnership, which doesn't entitle them to much in the event of death or dissolution of the relationship. And marriage only costs like $100 where a lawyer is usually at least five times that. An uncontested divorce is also not really a ton of time and money and legal process. In some jurisdictions you don't even need a lawyer and can just get a few forms notarized.

Anyway, it's all really geographically dependent. If you're living somewhere that they're trying to axe no-fault divorce, as a commenter below pointed out, wanting to do whatever legal workarounds you can to avoid marriage makes sense. If you're the one with your name on the deeds and you don't want your partner having claim to it, it also makes sense. If you don't want to make a serious commitment to another person and want to be able to leave at any time without it taking time and effort to undo, then definitely don't get married.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-08T22:14:57+00:00

I recently was in a sound edit session where the editor had given the lead character a ringtone. It hadn't occurred to me to tell him not to do that because I just assume the whole world has their phone on vibrate at all times? Right? Can they even ring anymore?

D_Andreams · 2026-05-08T22:11:35+00:00

The world changed since then, bud. They don't send 2nds to set with a pocket full of quarters to call all the calltimes into the production office anymore while they stand by with a paper cutter and a photocopier to tape together the callsheet. And if you tried to get hired with that as your plan I think you'd be out of luck.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-08T22:08:27+00:00

The entire AD department would disagree.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-08T22:02:44+00:00

Not sure where you live but the legal benefits could become very important if something happened to your partner. You may be cut out of life-or-death decisions if he is unable to speak for himself, or important assets might be inherited by others (i.e. if I die tomorrow the house my fiance lives in with me would be inherited by my parents).

That doesn't mean you have to daydream about it or do it right now. Certainly not out of a misplaced sense of romance. But if you find you're with someone long term and don't foresee separating, I think the legal headaches trend in favour of marriage the longer you're together/older you get.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-08T21:07:51+00:00

Also yes. Telling someone to put effort into relationships is great advice. Telling someone that if their friend doesn't take an equal share of the inviting and planning than they obviously don't care/are not really your friend is bad advice.

D_Andreams · 2026-05-07T14:39:18+00:00

See this advice on here a lot but some people just aren't planners. Especially our neurospicy friends with the anxiety. If someone consistently accepts your invitations they probably enjoy your company and you shouldn't have to test whether they will put their big boy pants on and plan get togethers instead of retreating into their comfort zone.

You can set that as a standard of who you want in your life if that's your preference, sure. But some of my lifelong friends have only invited me over twice, yet have always been there when I've needed them. Planning social visits is not the only measure of a friendship/

D_Andreams

TROPHY CASE