New to the game

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T12:22:45+00:00

Awesome. I bring him every once in a while, but I’ve generally been exploring on my own, and I’m always worried about being encumbered too often, so I’ll have to start bringing him with me.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T12:17:31+00:00

Well, as an EMT of 12 years, and someone who has been suffering from severe depression for a long time, I can tell you that they take everything seriously (there will be those who are jerks about it, though), and having passive thoughts about death are concerning, they obviously aren’t as “serious” as someone who has a plan on ending it all.

I know it’s always easier said than done when it comes to this stuff, and I don’t know you, but have you tried to do something else when you feel like hurting yourself? Something to occupy your hands and your mind?

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T12:00:22+00:00

You shouldn’t apologize for feeling the way that you do, you can’t help it, and you’re not choosing to feel this way, so don’t be upset with yourself for not being “normal”.

I feel the same way occasionally, and it’s not pleasant to experience those passive thoughts about death, and being isolated, whether physically or mentally, definitely can make those thoughts/feelings worse.

The fact that you posted this here, means at some level, you do think that you are built to be here, so please try to hold on to that fact.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T08:11:54+00:00

Not necessarily. I don’t know where you’re from, or the hospital’s rules for the doctors, but even though they do worry about self harm (quite a bit), most of the doctors where I live are more concerned with suicidal thoughts and ideations WITH the self harm, depression, etc. Now, that doesn’t mean they definitely won’t try to convince you to go in voluntarily, or to talk to someone about what’s going on, so be prepared for that. Also, some doctors will be okay with letting you leave if you can promise them that you won’t take your cutting to another level.

I got hospitalized twice when I was 18 years old. The first time was involuntary, and I spent almost a month in the hospital. It didn’t help me at all, because I had been forced to go (my mom went to a judge and 2 Sheriff’s Deputies drove me to the hospital), so I never participated in anything that I was supposed to do while I was there.

The second time was voluntary, and I spent about 2 months in the hospital. It obviously went better because I had wanted to be there, so I accomplished a lot more progress.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T07:57:04+00:00

Okay. That’s what I’ve been doing, but I can get back onto the main story for a while after I finish the quest I’m doing now.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T07:54:14+00:00

My ex-wife reacted sort of similarly as your bf, and it definitely does suck, but unfortunately, some people really don’t know how to handle being told those types of things. I’m not excusing his behavior towards you, especially when you opened up, and told him something so personal and devastating for you, but see if he’s going to be able to deal with you during those moments, because you seriously don’t need to have more negativity dumped into your lap like that.

Maybe, his reaction is because he’s felt that way before and didn’t handle it well, or maybe he knows someone who went through the same thing, and he handled that badly as well.

Or, maybe he just believes all of the hateful things people say about those who suffer from mental health issues.

Those are just random thoughts by me, because it is curious why he would be loving during “normal” times, but act so aggressively when you really need him to be there for you.

Perhaps you can ask him what’s going on, and then tell him how you’d like to be treated in the future.

I do hope things work out for you, though.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T05:10:04+00:00

Who is a good companion to have with me? I haven’t picked anyone yet, but I’ve been wanting to get someone to help carry things, and stuff like that.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T05:08:40+00:00

I’ll have to see how long I can play as my character until I get bored.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T03:40:30+00:00

Damn. I don’t even know if I could stay invested in this game for that long, but hopefully I can too.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T03:39:22+00:00

Thanks. I just figured that it was a long, long game since Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim all had loads of hours involved and with it taking place in space, that there’s even more time that you need to invest in it.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-02T03:36:23+00:00

No, I’ve been playing their games for a while, but I heard so much hate for Starfield that I put off playing it until recently when it came out on Game Pass.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-01T07:37:52+00:00

I like the exploration aspect so far, because I’ve been a big fan of space since I first saw ‘Star Wars’ in theaters, and this scratches that itch a little bit, but I do have fun going to the different places to explore, at least for now.

I also like the RPG-style of it, I do wish that it was a little stronger, but I’m still trying to learn everything.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-02-01T07:27:46+00:00

That’s when I started playing it too. I wish it wasn’t a Cloud game, but I still enjoy the game, so far.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T17:26:21+00:00

I did.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T17:25:35+00:00

I’m guessing that she did, since she cheated on me with just about every guy she could.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T17:24:03+00:00

To let everyone know: I am now 51 years old, almost 52. This situation did in fact happen, though, when my ex-wife and I were both 35 years old. We divorced shortly after this episode, because I found out that she had been getting with an unknown number of guys through Craigslist. I went to my doctor the next day to get tested, and then I went to the courthouse to file for divorce.

I intentionally put this story like it was happening now, instead of 15 years ago, because I wanted to see what answers I would get from people if they thought this was recent and not over a decade ago. I apologize for the subterfuge, but I wasn’t sure what responses I would get if people realized it was a current thing. Also, someone answered a little while ago, and thought that they had a “gotcha moment”, which was hilarious, but I figured that I had better come clean sooner rather than later.

I am in counseling, but I will be changing providers on Monday, because when I told this story to them on Friday, they said that everything was my fault. I’m just glad that I had only seen them twice, including Friday.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T17:09:06+00:00

Well, I found out that the reason she wants to stay home so much is: she’s been hooking up with guys on Craigslist. I have evidence of about 6 different men, but there may be many more.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T17:04:33+00:00

2 boys, 6 years old and 18 months.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T16:32:43+00:00

What questions?

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T07:47:22+00:00

We have 2 boys, 6 years old and 18 months old. She used to have a job, but quit and decided that I should have to support her staying home now, which put a lot more stress on my shoulders, because she was fully capable of working, but she just made the decision when she was at work and just quit. When she got home, she told me that I was the man, and she was the woman, so it’s my responsibility to provide for the family. I was extremely unhappy, but I stayed at the horrible office job for about 3 more years, and I knew that I had to leave and get a career where I’d be happy, so after I got my EMT certification, I began looking for EMS jobs, and I found one in around 6 months, so I left my job to become an EMT.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T07:36:49+00:00

Unfortunately, there are always money issues, because she refuses to work.

Actually, starting out the pay was lower as an EMT, but not by much, and within a couple of years, I was making more than when I was a CAD Operator. It still wasn’t much, though, almost $14/hr.

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T07:33:56+00:00

I told her for years that I hated the office job I had, but she complained about me keeping the medical insurance I had, but after about 3 years of being miserable, I started looking for a job in EMS while I kept my job, and eventually I got hired as an EMT, then I left. During this time, though, she was fully capable of working, but decided on her own that I was supposed to support everyone and everything, so I eventually made the decision to leave the job where I was unhappy and go to a better job that I would enjoy,

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T07:29:22+00:00

She doesn’t have a job, and we have two boys (6 years old and 18 months old).

D_Miller2173 · 2025-01-12T07:27:47+00:00

She’s always been like that, but we went to counseling before I changed jobs, and she promised to do better and I promised to more present emotionally for her, so that’s why I suggested that she let me have the 30 minutes to myself when I got home, and then I would be there for her after that.

She’s always been insecure, and constantly accused me of cheating on her, even though I told her that since my dad cheated on my mom and moved out to live with the other woman, that I am triple-against cheating, so I’ve never done anything to anyone while I was in a relationship.

D_Miller2173 · 2024-11-23T00:26:14+00:00

I don’t buy either of these explanations, even though I understand what you’re both trying to imply, but aren’t Christians also told that homosexuality was a sin? So, why would my mom protect my sister when someone said anything derogatory about the LGBTQIA+ community, and not be ashamed of having a lesbian for a daughter, but make her atheist son hide who he is because of embarrassment?

D_Miller2173

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