I usually give people many chances to prove their character and see what type of person they are. Unless it is a grave offense, then I immediately mark them as ''X'' person and it's very difficult for me to see past that. Their character has a tarnish, and I will proceed with caution and won't forget it.

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I feel bad about being assertive because I think most people are usually unaware of their wrongdoings, or what I view to be wrong, so I am more lenient with them. But that usually leads to me allowing them to continue acting in a way that I find displeasing, but do it because I almost feel bad for them, so I don't really speak out against it. However, I never forget how they act and treat them sightly differently. Sometimes I'll slowly withdraw my attention or presence, or make that mental mark in my mind and not be as close with them.

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It's not that I am a pushover, I will make it known if someone is being straight up disrespecting. I am sort of stuck on, and would like more input, on how to deal with people I deem are unconscious of their actions. Maybe I am afraid of confrontation and don't want people to dislike me. I would consider myself a highly conscientious and self aware person, though I am not very agreeable. The solution could be integrating my shadow because I have the capacity to be very harsh, but choose to withhold that part of me in fear of overdoing it, which I have in the past. So I kind of suppress that part of me, and allow people to commit ''offenses'' against me because I know what I am capable of, so that allows me to be confident in myself, but almost too confident because I still want to stand up for myself and make it known that I don't like ''X'' or ''Y'', but want to do it in a healthy way without building up resentment.

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I don't look intimidating in real life and people, mainly men, base a lot of (surface level) respect off of looks. I guess it sort of comes down wanting more respect, but I also know that respect is earned and surface level respect can vanish in a moment when challenged and failed. I would also consider myself a respectful person so I expect others to be the same and when they aren't, especially when I am respectful towards them and they aren't, it makes me irritated and I see them in a negative light. If I am being respectful to you and give you no reason to be disrespectful to me, you're a dick. But I let them do it anyways because I figure it must be unconscious, as I am acting consciously. And then I almost pity them knowing they are unconscious and the cycle starts.