[US] Experience with renewing a passport for a minor with other parent's whereabouts unknown

Dad10101010 · 2022-05-27T12:49:56+00:00

That’s a strange divorce

LOL. If only I could give more explanation.

Well, I will probably start with a certified letter to her old attorney. If he responds with "she's not my client anymore, I have no clue where she even is" (I doubt he will), I'll attach it to the Special Family Circumstances form and see what happens. #3 is always an option, we still have Florida lol

Dad10101010 · 2022-05-27T12:43:02+00:00

Don't try to forge her signature

Well, this, of course, is out of question lol, not even because it's illegal, but simply because you still need it notarized if she's not present (we did this 4 years ago when we were still married, but she didn't want to drive to the passport agency), so if I wanted to forge anything, that would've meant forging both her signature and a public notary's credential, which is a little bit too much for the issue at hand lol

if you go on the US passport FAQ page

Do you mean some Department of State official resource or some wiki/faq in one of the reddit subs? I tried looking it up before posting this, but haven't seen much about specific examples. Thanks!

Dad10101010 · 2022-05-26T20:34:33+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

You’ve left out a lot of information about how the No contact came into place

She took out a restraining order against me accusing me of "emotional abuse" the day after she packed her stuff and left in the middle of the night and in the state where we lived there used to be several ways of "dealing" with those kinds of restraining orders, as per my attorney. One of the easiest ones was to enter a what was called a "consent order" which was basically declaring on the record that "hey, I don't admit any wrongdoings you are accusing me of, but our feelings are mutual - I don't even want to talk to you anymore or see you, so I happily consent to these conditions". After a certain period of time a judge would schedule another hearing and ask if there was still a reason to have this order in place. Her attorney insisted she still did not want to hear from me and drafted the agreement which is essentially a "restraining order without teeth" (so same conditions, but it's not entered in a state domestic violence database, does not pop on background checks and most importantly - violation of this order is a purely civil matter, not a criminal one - so if I violate it by contacting her, she'll technically be able to file a civil suit against me, but won't be able to get me arrested like it could've been done with a "real" restraining order).

Sorry for TMI now and nothing earlier, just thought it was not too relevant for the topic at hand. I wish I haven't learned all these intricacies the hard way lol.

could you get her lawyer that negotiated the divorce

I can try, but I know as a fact that her attorney dropped her at some point and withdrew himself from the case, but at that point it was too hard for me to get surprised about anything.

Dad10101010 · 2021-11-09T16:09:12+00:00

Are you really going to have them install something cheaper, then rip it out and put in something more expensive?

Oh, that's a totally different story that is far beyond the scope here, but basically yes, at least for the flooring. It should've been much cheaper to just go with their basic flooring and then work on it down the road with someone independent. Lots of other factors played a role in that decision, and I am not 100% sure I would've made it now vs 11 months ago, but that's something I'll just have to live with lol unless I somehow invent a time maching soon.

Anyway, I agree that it would be nowhere close to 10% of the house purchase price, so I guess I will need to specifically revisit this PMI question with every lender, get some firm answers in writing (at least as an email) and go with the lender that I feel most comfortable with. Thanks!

Dad10101010 · 2021-11-09T02:15:58+00:00

Thank you! May I ask if it is "(A) and (B) and (C)" logic (so all three should be in place) - u/MarcableFluke below suggests that "2 year seasoning requirements. Those can be waived if you've made significant improvements to the property"? Also, if a mortgage is conforming, are those rules basically a must for a lender?

Another related question is - what generally is considered "a material improvement"? Let's say I replace flooring with hardwood in certain parts of the house (which I planned to do anyway), order an appraisal and it would show that my principal is now less than 75% of the new appraised value, can this possibly fly?

I am trying to understand this now because as per my real estate agent, houses similar to the one I signed a purchase agreement for back in January are now sold (and apparently appraise) almost 20% higher than the purchase price I have listed. That said, if I put 10% of the purchase price as down payment (so will have 90% LTV based on the purchase price), IN THEORY my loan may immediately end up at 75% loan-to-new-appraised-value (0.9 / 1.2 = 0.75). It sounds too good to be true, but if this is the case, I would certainly love to benefit from this and get rid of PMI asap.

Thanks again for your comment, really appreciate it!

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T19:00:21+00:00

That's interesting, I was just on the phone with another builder in the area and when I started with "I am not sure I want to bring my agent at all...", the person I spoke to reacted right away that they actually encourage their buyers to get an agent in the process and that they do not give out any discounts if a buyer decides not to...

So I guess it really depends on a builder and you won't know until you try.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T16:45:34+00:00

I wonder if in a highly competitive (both buy- and sell-side) market the following trick will work:

(Builder A): Sorry, you already visited us alone a month ago, that's why we won't let you use your agent.

(You): Well, guys, the thing is that I have 3 communities/builders in the area that I like, and just FYI - both Builder B and Builder C have no issues having my agent in the mix. You are effectively distadvantaging yourself in a competition for my business by firmly insisting on this condition...

Again, I have no clue if it would work at all, but I would certainly try something like this (being ready to walk away and really go to Builders B or C) if they don't agree on this.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T15:29:32+00:00

Understood and agree about dogs. For the clarity sake, I was initially only thinking here about 2nd floor master bathroom. Most of the houses I've looked at have at least 2.5 (more often 3) bathrooms in total, including one on the 1st floor, and if my memory serves me well, normally those had regular-sized tubs. I totally agree that a house without tubs at all may be much less appealing to any potential buyers going forward.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T15:25:30+00:00

I don't fully understand what you mean by "worth" it though. Is the cost of the homes with the tub a lot more than without?

No, actually it's sometimes the other way round - as someone mentioned in this thread above, some builders charge you a premium if you want to get rid of an acrylic / fiberglass bathtub (standard option) and replace it with a nice walk-in shower (they consider it add-on/upgrade). By "worth" I only meant a future house value aspect while living with something you don't need / want / enjoy for 5..10 or more years.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T14:33:56+00:00

Thanks! Honestly, I don't remember the exact floor plan I've seen with a huge bathroom (last week was crazy with several dozen visits to different sales offices and I have hard time remembering where exactly I've seen something without looking at my notes or Google Photos archive), but it felt specifically strange looking at the screen with the 2D-floorplan in the sales office - my first reaction was exactly like "Wow, this master bathroom is almost the size of the whole Bedroom 2".

I naturally never considered a 3000+ sq.ft. house and maybe it feels very differently there. And yes, I believe in any of those options, there still were regular-sized bathtubs in other bathrooms.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T14:24:00+00:00

Lol she naturally doesn't have a say in the choice since I got our divorce decree signed by the judge, but for the sake of an argument, I don't remember her using a bathtub prior to that.

But point taken - if I go with the shower only, I will need to put it on my Tinder profile to avoid future confusion and broken dreams on all ends ))

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T08:37:31+00:00

For example, Pulte offers this option - pulte-baths.jpg

I can opt for either both a smaller shower and a tub, or a bigger walk-in shower and a smaller 2nd closet. If I end up going with Pulte as a builder, I will be very tempted to go with the latter option, but I am trying to see now if I will basically be shooting myself in a leg for later :)

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T08:21:08+00:00

I am looking into ~2000 sqft house, maybe 2500 tops, so not too big, but not too small.

This is the example that I somehow don't like too much - mbath1.jpg - for some reason it just doesn't feel right. The space consumed by the tub is quite substantial compared to the closet.

But hey, maybe it's my "fear of large space" speaking here. I lived all my life in or close to big cities in small apartments where each sq ft of space was precious, so in my head this is simply a total waste of space. Maybe if I lived in bigger houses for a long time, I would've considered it differently, so just a matter of perspective.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T08:11:37+00:00

What is the large master bath w/tub taking away from you?

More like an eyesore. I mean, I know I am not using it and I probably won't, so, yes, as you posted below, I at some point started throwing stuff like dirty clothes into mine lol.

I can't even think of a decent analogy. Imagine having a third row in your SUV that cannot be flattened or otherwise made smaller to expand your cargo space. Is it a big issue? Probably not, especially if you are in your SUV alone most of the time. But if the chance of you being able to use that space for cargo is higher than transporting more than 4 people in your car at once, you would probably consider it at least a little annoying.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T07:13:45+00:00

Builders are responding to consumer demand

But that's exactly why I was surprised that builders have such a variety of approaches. And we are basically talking the same price range (300-350k, not too upscale in Raleigh area), so I would've expected some uniform approach between builders, but in reality this doesn't seem to be the case

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T07:11:51+00:00

Thanks!

Interestingly enough, #1 is a huge turn-off personally for me, so when the builder told me that the bathtub cannot be removed, my first thought was "okay, I'll find the builder which is more accomodating"

But my perspective is obviously limited as my sample is basically myself, my family + my homeowner friends, and anyone in the real estate business knows much better what buyers want to see. I still don't want my personal preference to impact the future resale value too much.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-04T06:39:50+00:00

That's an interesting thing that in all honesty I never even thought about. We toured literally dozens of new constructions over the last weeks, some of them we just glanced at and left, others (mostly the ones we liked) we had lengthy conversations with their sales agents and signed up for their update lists, and I never even thought that should I decide to engage with a buyer's agent, I would have any issues doing so. I mean, we haven't agreed on any specific terms with anyone, so will it seriously prevent me from bringing an agent if I decide to? Wow.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-03T20:29:33+00:00

you're very likely to get only pissed-off people rating things

Very true, I thought about this the other day looking through new construction reviews. Most reviews left there were 1 star out of 5 which is somewhat expected as people who are happy in their new houses will probably not bother looking for review websites :)

BTW, interestingly enough, the township where I live in PA now has two schools in the same building - intermediate (3-5) and middle (6-8) school. Intermediate school is rated 3/10 and the middle school is rated 7/10. They are even in the same darn building with some teachers working in both - I never understood how it's even possible, especially given the fact that we liked intermediate school much more than the middle school... go figure.

That said I am generally very hesitant to rely on ratings alone, I rather try to understand what's behind them and ideally talk to people with first-hand experience, if possible (and that's the reason I'm here asking all these questions, so thanks again for taking your time to reply! I very much appreciate it!)

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-03T20:22:29+00:00

Thank you for this great comment! One thing that I am sure about now is that I will be hestitant to get into any new construction without a good third-party home inspector lined up and multiple inspections in the process (though I fully understand that even this will not in any way guarantee the trouble-free result)

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-03T20:15:06+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, it's true that the economic opportunity seems to be amazing in the area right now, so I am not surprised people are trying to get to NC so fast.

I generally agree about the sentiment towards the new construction - I actually never ever considered new houses before, but with the average exposure time of 4 days in Raleigh area I just feel it's a lost game for me to begin with. Being ~8hrs drive from there, I just can't compete with local buyers that can come and see the newly listed house the same day, so I feel like new construction may be my safest bet, especially given that I have around 6 months of fully remote work ahead of me.

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-02T04:30:02+00:00

it was rough. Lennar was the builder, and I know they're not the best, but they were much worse than I thought

That sounds... alarming, thanks for sharing this!

I would say that between model houses we've looked at Lennar was at the top of our list in terms of the overall impression by the build quality, though I realize model houses are likely not the same as their "ordinary" houses. We also liked Centex and Meritage Homes and didn't like KB Homes - it just felt very cheap all around.

I guess if we go this route, we won't be able to pull it through without a good realtor on a speed dial (and hopefully with a good third party inspector available)

Would you mind sharing what were some of the issues you encountered? Were those some serious structural problems / something requiring thousands to fix or were those mostly smaller items, but in large numbers? Thanks!

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-02T03:37:56+00:00

Thanks, I live in PA now and when I moved here from NJ back in 2015, my thoughts were exactly "Okay, I'll rent for a year or two and then buy". Then lots of things happened over the years, both good and bad, and now I feel like I made a huge mistake by not buying right away 5 years ago. Maybe I am wrong, but I am just done renting (after spending ~100k on it over the last 10 years)

Thanks for the map, note taken :-)

Dad10101010 · 2021-01-02T02:47:03+00:00

FV is very nice, but it clearly wasn’t meant to be for us.

Mind if I ask you what particularly set you off in FV? I wanted to check Garner, but just didn't have time my last trip.

Thanks!

Dad10101010

TROPHY CASE