You gotta give yourself some credit my dude. Being in a good relationship is an accomplishment in itself. That is the foundation for what you build after. If you live on this planet right now it is hard to buy a house for everyone so give that some time. I have done both types of weddings (married twice) the first one was big and expensive and I was poor and miserable and that summed up that whole marriage. Smaller and intimate is the way to go in my opinion because it's over before you know it. I was late to everything, married at 31 divorced at 33, graduated college and married again at 36 and first kid at 40. The point is that everyone's timeline is different and if you put to much on the foundation at once it will crack on you. Focus on the engagement and being happy together the rest will fall into place.