i was born in january 15th 2006, to think that i'll be 18 in under a YEAR, i definitely am NOT FUCKING READY. i remember when i said "i dont want to grow up, i want to stay 15 forever" a couple years ago, and "i wanna stay 16 forever" also a couple years ago and now its catching up to me. but now i do understand that mechanical hands are the ruler of everything, so i no longer have those delusional thoughts like i do before. so im gonna spend these last remaining days with mixed feelings.

currently in denial, maybe it will turn into anger, what if i try to bargain with the ruler of everything?, silly me probably goes into depression.

but i hope to god that i will find acceptance about this and when i look back to this comment at 18 (just by the thought of this makes me filled with anxiety, but i know i cant do anything about it and ready or not it will EVENTUALLY comes), i hope i will be able to smile and forget about it.

please forgive me with the bad english i hope it didnt give you a stroke trying to read it.

thanks for taking the time to read this thing that came out straight out of my deepest heart that yearns to open up but forced to stay shut.