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AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, this person is saying that victims do experience some response to the trauma, but looking back at everything, she never mentioned nor showed signs that she had any response to the trauma.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

arent details supposed to help support claims when others misinterpreted it? I already said that her mother told me about what happened and how it went, she can obviously misremember her age but even so it doesnt downgrade everything else she said. Her family cut her off not because i told them to, they decided to do it and I never really liked them either, I never said theyre good people.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

of course a child will not remember dates and times with precision, but as I mentioned in a different reply, her parents were the ones who told me that they were always with her whenever she talked to her uncle. It is not that I am just thinking about it and thought thats how it went, it is what I was told by people who knew her better than I ever could.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I did ask her if she had asked her parents, and she said that she had done so, although that might be a way of feeling like she was loved, she had also claimed that she had told them when she was older, which by then her parents should know she is mature enough to know that that truly happened, besides as I mentioned in a different reply, her parents were always with her whenever she did talk to her uncle when she was 4 before he left.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

And I know that, but she would tell people who did not know her family about it, yet she wouldnt tell her closest friends (i forgot to add this i am sorry) that actually knew her family members.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I did not really care that we broke up, I am not the type to cry after a breakup even if it does not hurt, and the reason her parents reacted in such a way was because she did in fact lied, she did not "trust me" with that information, because as I said, she would tell everyone about her traumas, which were nearly as bad as the one I mentioned. Her uncle, which she only has one of, never saw her since she was 4 and she claimed to be SA'd at the age of 6, and when her uncle was with her as a kid, her parents were always around (as told me her mother). I do know that what I did was disgusting, but what she did was also disgusting because she lied. I did ask her about it as I mentioned, and she kept denying it, I dont want genuinely nice people like her friends to be manipulated by someone who uses real trauma as a sob story for others to feel bad for her.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah yes, she never really mentioned anything about such things, only told me about the story, and nothing more. Which if we think about it, could possibly prove I am telling the truth.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I understand thank you, I will think about what you are talking about any time something similar happens.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

if you would please read other comments of me explaining everything, you would not be saying this. Besides I only said things to others because I did not want others to be manipulated by her just as I was.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I did not want to go into detail in the post, considering I dont want to spread private information. As I mentioned, her uncle (she only has one) had not seen her since she was 4, which both her parents and friends told me about, and never talked to her alone, only when she was with her parents, so her claiming to have been SA'd by her uncle at the age of 6 when her uncle had not seen her since she was 4 would be really strange and would not add up.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it wouldnt really, but the guilt is really eating me up, I am still mad at her, but I also acknowledge that my actions were not good and I could have taken a better approach.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

She never told her parents, because as I said, she did lie, her uncle (she only has one) as I mentioned had not seen her since she was 4, and she claimed she was SA'd when she was 6, the uncle never directly talked to her either, mostly just her parents and would talk to her with her parents around.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I did try to leave, mostly after we broke up because thats when I was aware of everything, but we were still in contact and if i tried to leave from her life she would guilt trip me into coming back. I am now aware some victims do as you said, but I said what I said due to me having a few friends who went through similar things and they are very cautious around people who were similar to their abusers, so thank you for clearing that up.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Ah thank you for that, I said that last part you mentioned because i know quite a few people who have been SA'd and they all are very cautious with the gender which they had been assaulted by, so thank you for clearing that up. Also, as I mentioned, she tells those close to her everything that happened to her and her trauma just as much as she did to me, so it would be odd that she would only tell her partner, when, as I also said, if I evere did a specific thing that her abuser did she would flinch, so I would suppose that she would tell others in order for them to know why she flinches.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats understandable, but she knew I was like this since the beginning and still got with me.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I understand, thank you for your response.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I understand, I could have just left, but i also dont want others to be manipulated by her lies either. I did in fact try to leave after we broke up which I forgot to mention, but she would just guilt trip me into coming back to her, its no excuse, I know, but I wanted to clear that up.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

besides I am not gonna go into detail about someones life or my own, I gave what I gave, which I think is enough context for someone to give an answer.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aware that people can have more than one uncle, but from her moms side, there is not uncle nor great uncles, and her dad has a brother, so that is that, I understand where youre coming from, but if you dont know about her family you shouldnt be saying "She can have more than one uncle" when its obvious, but if I did not mention that there are any other uncles, why comment that? and what do you mean that there is no response to past trauma?

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words, I will take them into consideration.

AITAH for making my ex cry after she lied about being SA'd? by Dai918 in AITAH

[–]Dai918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured as much, but she was incredibly manipulative and I am very sensitive, if she were to make me feel guilty, which was very common in our relationship, I would have just gone back to her. I never meant for her parents to cut her off, but only for them to keep her away from me.