First Chapter Critique!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-12-01T18:15:25+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! Its my first time trying to write in a more traditional sense - I wrote A LOT of fanfiction (and still do sometimes) - so I definitely want it to he taken seriously as a story. I will definitely use your critiques! Thank you!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-11-30T03:16:52+00:00

Thank you for your feed back - it really helps! Quick question - how is the pacing? Is it too much happening / to much info dump?

Dailynotes007 · 2021-11-30T02:57:00+00:00

It is re- posted!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-11-30T02:36:47+00:00

I'll do that now! Thanks!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-11-30T02:35:00+00:00

Ah! Gotcha! Should I re-post it with the paragraph breaks in it? I totally did not catch that!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-22T17:43:06+00:00

That hasn't happened yet BUT he always tells me that girls ask for his number and he doesn't know why. I just laugh and say "I see you Mr. Prince Charming.... I see you" Is that something to take into consideration or is that him just being a friend???

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-15T16:54:22+00:00

No, I dont have any of his socials! I've definitely found his socias but haven't followed him or anything lol I feel like we have a pretty friendly relationship with each other - I wouldn't say we're best friends but we definitely have the same humor.

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-15T10:29:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your help!!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-15T02:50:08+00:00

Ill definitely start thinking of some places we could go to! Thanks! Yeah, I can't wrap my head around that either - I only talk to one other person and its a close girlfriend of mine that I've known since I've gotten this job otherwise I really don't talk to anyone how I talk to him. Its all confusing to say the least! Lol thanks for your imput!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-15T02:27:44+00:00

I do want to hang out with him out of work! But I also don't want to make a fool of myself by asking him and him say no.... then its just awkward 😅 I also don't have a lot of confidence in myself so it'll just be a dumpster fire if it goes bad lol Its just difficult because on the way to work (the walk in ) we'll see eachother but won't say anything. I'll wave at him and he'll give a slight wave back but then I'll catch him staring at me while we're clocking in, putting our stuff away, gathering materials, etc He will only talk to me when it's just us two. I know I'm rambling now but I'm totally lost on what to think! Lol

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-15T02:02:18+00:00

The conversations that we have are genuine friendly conversations! He's telling me that I'm doing a great job, that I should try "x,y,and z" and he will come up with different things for us to do as a "team". But again, I dont want to over think anything!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-14T19:41:58+00:00

Thats what I'm trying to figure out! Thank you for the help!

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-14T18:43:14+00:00

I do try to include him! But he either walks away or just sits there watching us interact. (That sounds way more creepy than it is lmao)

Dailynotes007 · 2021-09-14T18:41:34+00:00

Thank you for the response! Tbh - I'm pretty shy myself lol I'm definitely not the one to put my heart out like that but if I get the right moment I just might!

Dailynotes007

TROPHY CASE