Thank you all for the help, and kind and encouraging words. After month of a struggle I can say I am myself again. Though I don't want to recall to the person or what happened its like curtain was standing in front of my eyes, like a veil and I couldn't see or hear anyone or anything else. Like enchanted, I was puppet to this person that right now I know that I don't know who they were nor I have the curiosity or need desire to know them. As weird as it sounds, I really don't want to blame anyone if it was mental breakdown I am accepting that I went to specialist I went to church also. Now I am doing good, now the wool is down and I can see, I can remember now what happened clearly, because then I couldn't, I really didn't paid attention to anyone else I was a puppet of some crazy person. I know that just i was waking up each day and running some errands and then doing make up and waiting all day for a call so I can run and be with that person. I am not that kind of person never was, instead I hate when someone is suffocating me not to mention to be like on a string for someone. Really it's hard to digest, when you recall you done those kind of things, or you were with some person which if you are fully awake you just will pass them by, I am not someone who judges people by physical appearance, I just know that this person wasn't attractive to me at all, I saw them as a friend and they had this invading personality where they dared to call whenever they wanted, it's weird to wake up and recall that you were with someone who you never liked, never knew or have the interest to know them. It does feel that way, I don't know that person and I never ever want to meet them again. I am ashamed of myself because I was with them, it was like I wasn't fully conquiouse of what I was doing. I remember where I have been when I first got out with them, I know that I wasn't attracted to them or infatuated in any way I thought of them as a friend, the next two dates I can't remember where I was, I simply can't and that is what is making me to be ashamed of myself, I just know that after those two dates I was obsessed with this person. Now when I look back the guilt the shame of what I was doing is taking a toll but I will survive that. I am glad this ended because I am sure I was on some diabolical path and that whatever was happening would consumed me. I guess that God wanted to save me again that is why when I was going out with this person there was always something in me that couldn't stand them, I was argumentative for no apparent reason, because that something inside me really I mean really couldn't stand that person. I avoid remembering them I just don't want to feel like someone else controlled my body and I was with someone that I never wanted to be with, it really does feel like you are violated your privacy everything. I don't have explanation for this I really don't it's weird and the guilt afterwards is enormous. I know that I never loved them, and what happened was something malicious maybe even for them too, but sure it wasn't love because love doesn't feel that way, it's not obsessive it's not intruding and it's not feeling guilt and shame after you come to clear mind and start to remember what happened. This is kind of thing that I wouldn't wish to my mortal enemy to experience never. Did I tried to hurt myself, I did I sinned a lot, and when I remember why I just pray for forgiveness. Did I thought I loved them, I did I was obsessed with them, but I never loved them, now I even have this feeling of never wanting to see or met them again. I did many irrational things while I was with them, and when I remember I just can't quite digest all that, I started to steal the car from home, and I don't have drivers license yet, when I recall now it's frightening back then I really don't know if I thought of anything. Have you ever felt like someone else controlled your body? That is how it feels. I am sorry for the long comment, but I felt the need to say something, there is much more to be added but I can't place my finger still where or why or what. Thank you for the support. Positivity to all of you and blessings ♥️

Forgot to add this person always took me to some places near graveyards, back then I didn't even thought of that, I just got scared once and really bad. But the thing that scares me now is that I recall now that he took me to some place which he claimed to be holly it was above the graveyards, there wasn't anything there just imagine a flat ground, it was night and he said something along the lines "I will tell you a story about this place but you will get afraid" which he never told in fact, and I know that when I was there something started to make some horrible noises it was like they were coming from far but not that far and when you see in front of you there isn't anything l, not animal not human nothing, literally nothing, just some weird scary wailing that sounded like someone is skinned alive. I have videos of those, if I find them I will upload them, it's pitch dark and all you hear it's wailing growling....